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11/27/2021 6:26:29 PM
8
Looking for some writing advice
Good evening everybody! This is Aifos coming to you alive from nowhere in particular! And I find myself in quite a pickle, so let's just jump right into the point!
So, I'm writing a thing, and in this thing the protagonist is getting hunted by an assassin. She gets rescued by a couple other characters, and our trio of heroic hero people all get away safe & sound. Now, the heroes have a little bit of downtime, and I, tapping into my infinite reserves of writing knowledge, say "Okay, it's always important to give your characters a clear goal!", and so I immediately have the protagonist (the girl who just got rescued) suggest they go look for this city that seems to be surrounded by this magic anomaly thing. This kickstarts their adventure, and gets the plot rolling! Woo hoo!
Then I realized something. Everything that just happened happens within 13 pages double spaced (or only about 4,000 words if you want a more specific bead). When I was writing it, this seemed fine, but upon a quick reread, it feels like it goes way too fast. Like, we have our protag get attacked by an assassin, then almost immediately turn around and ask the people who saved her to take her somewhere, which just felt a little awkward.
Not only that, but the next two chapters place the characters in some pretty nifty situations, and while the actual content is fine, I almost feel like you don't know these characters enough for these scenes to really be that great. It reminds me of the first episode of Teen Titans, where they have Cyborg leave the team--great moment on its own, but not a great moment as a first episode, because you don't really know him enough to care.
So, I've looked over it a few times, and I'm a bit stumped on how to fix it.
What I think I need is some way to pad down this introduction, so that there's some time to get to know these characters a bit better, and so that the protag doesn't immediately seem fine with having these total strangers (who did save her life, granted), escort her halfway across the world. While I think having the assassin attack is a good spot to start the book (as that's when the heroes all meet up) I think, for once, my writing know-how has failed me, and giving them a clear goal is [i]not[/i] the next best move.. But, I also have no idea what else I could possibly do instead.
So I turn to you, general populace of the Offtopic subforum! I know there are at least a couple of you with writing know how and/or story analysis skills! So help me out!
I need to slow down this intro, and give us time to get to know these characters, as immediately setting them on the path to [b]ADVENTURE[/b] didn't work like it does for most of my stories.
One other small thing to note, is I don't want too much [b]NONSTOP HIGH-POWERED ACTION[/b] until they get set on their adventure, because the protag doesn't have magic yet. She'll get some magic pretty early once they actually start heading to their destination, but until then she'd be pretty useless in fight scenes, and padding down my intro by having her stand on the sidelines during a couple fight scenes would not be very interesting.
[b][u]Tl;dr? Here's my point![/b][/u]
My intro was too fast, I need help making it go a bit slower.
But that's all for now, folks! Jambuhbye!
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5 RepliesOooo, pacing problems, how fun. Conflict is the driver of the plot, so, if the plot is moving too fast, then there's probably a conflict that is glossed over or a conflict that is not addressed at all. Like Nil said, many writers ignore conflicts that deal with travel; it always irks me when characters can bounce across the realm without having to worry about food, water, fatigue, supplies, etc. Or, like Geoduck suggested, maybe the ignored conflict is a more subtle, inner issue. The protag had some suspicions, but what about the side characters being suspicious of the protag? Or maybe the protag is scared or anxious about asking random strangers for help. Maybe try considering all the conflicts that are present before they go off to the magical city, and try stretching one of those out? The pacing problem could also be a logical discontinuity where there isn't enough buildup for a big moment. Here, the ignored conflict is simply not present; events are not hitting as hard because there is not enough tension (built through conflicts). For this story in particular, it sounds like your characters are acting like they're friends, even though they've only just met. So maybe introduce a conflict that forces the characters to spend more time with each other before going to the city? It could be something very blatant, like a big magical forcefield or something, or it could be a little more subtle, like getting lost in the wilderness. Or, maybe the problem doesn't have as much to do with pacing as it does with your portrayal of the pacing. The classic: "whoops, we accidentally fell in the exact place we needed to be in" can be cheap, but maybe traveling to the city is just a good spot to hide from the assassin. I've not seen the story, but you could try de-emphasizing the bond between characters and emphasize their common goal; they might not be friends yet, but they all need a place to hide from a common enemy. Blend the attack and whatever happens in the city all into one big intro, rather than having a super short intro then getting right into the story. Good luck, and I hope my super expert and totally not talking out my -blam!- advice helps!
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4 RepliesEdited by CAD1420Z: 11/28/2021 6:31:39 AMYou could have the protagonist help the people who saved her accomplish a goal of their own that they put on hold to save her? Said goal might even take them closer to your intended destination, even. The goal itself doesn't even have to be huge, like maybe finding a rare-ish component or reagent or what have you. Edit: On a slight bit more consideration, I'm going to crib the first thing the main quest tells you to do in Morrowind: Go do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE and come back when you're stronger, richer, more intelligent, overall more capable. Have the team go off on an adventure elsewhere, establish their bonafides, then have them go to the mythical super mysterious place. And I don't necessarily mean make another 10 chapters of fetch quests, just a few impactful moments with enough detail to show the characters growing meaningfully and getting to know each other along with the reader.
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4 RepliesIdk, you're not giving much to work with Maybe throw in a bit of travel and downtime? Pass through a village, camp out in the woods, endure a storm, wrestle a bear, beach episode, something like that.
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5 RepliesMaybe give the protagonist some healthy paranoia? Like, who are you people, why’d you save me, is this a trick? I dunno, I’m a terrible writer.
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3 Replieswhat genre is this story to be
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1 Reply[quote]and in this thing the protagonist is getting hunted by an assassin.[/quote] Why? I don’t know what your outline looks like, but you would probably benefit from hammering out each character’s motivations. The problems you’re having writing the intro make it sound like your story is more plot-driven than character-driven. Take the time to figure out what each character wants, [i]why[/i] they’re doing the things that they’re doing, and it’ll help your writing flow more naturally. Why’s the protagonists being hunted? Who wants them dead, and what do they get out of it? Who is the assassin? Is he an actual character, or just fodder? And if he’s a real character, why’s he going after the protagonist? Why’d the other people intervene? Don’t focus on how you’re gonna force the three together, focus on why they would [i]want[/i] to team up.
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1 ReplyEdited by Cultmeister: 11/27/2021 6:48:57 PMOne thing I used to find really cool about the Artemis Fowl books when I was younger was that Eoin Colfer (the author) would sometimes write one chapter leading up to an event from one character’s point of view, and then write the next chapter leading up to the same event but from a different character’s point of view. Might be tricky if your characters are all together at the start, but assuming they’re all trying to stop the assassination separately you can introduce each character separately and give some explanation and backstory while only dealing with one plot point. Doesn’t have to be a whole chapter each, maybe put a time stamp and location before each section so that readers don’t get confused. Except then you’ll have to do that for the whole story else it’ll look weird.
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3 Repliesthrow in a love triangle
