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originally posted in: Looking for some writing advice
11/29/2021 2:30:34 AM
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Oooo, pacing problems, how fun. Conflict is the driver of the plot, so, if the plot is moving too fast, then there's probably a conflict that is glossed over or a conflict that is not addressed at all. Like Nil said, many writers ignore conflicts that deal with travel; it always irks me when characters can bounce across the realm without having to worry about food, water, fatigue, supplies, etc. Or, like Geoduck suggested, maybe the ignored conflict is a more subtle, inner issue. The protag had some suspicions, but what about the side characters being suspicious of the protag? Or maybe the protag is scared or anxious about asking random strangers for help. Maybe try considering all the conflicts that are present before they go off to the magical city, and try stretching one of those out? The pacing problem could also be a logical discontinuity where there isn't enough buildup for a big moment. Here, the ignored conflict is simply not present; events are not hitting as hard because there is not enough tension (built through conflicts). For this story in particular, it sounds like your characters are acting like they're friends, even though they've only just met. So maybe introduce a conflict that forces the characters to spend more time with each other before going to the city? It could be something very blatant, like a big magical forcefield or something, or it could be a little more subtle, like getting lost in the wilderness. Or, maybe the problem doesn't have as much to do with pacing as it does with your portrayal of the pacing. The classic: "whoops, we accidentally fell in the exact place we needed to be in" can be cheap, but maybe traveling to the city is just a good spot to hide from the assassin. I've not seen the story, but you could try de-emphasizing the bond between characters and emphasize their common goal; they might not be friends yet, but they all need a place to hide from a common enemy. Blend the attack and whatever happens in the city all into one big intro, rather than having a super short intro then getting right into the story. Good luck, and I hope my super expert and totally not talking out my -blam!- advice helps!
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  • There are only 4 characters that have been introduced at this point; the two saviors, the protag, and the assassin. The saviors have been trying to fight the assassin for a while, so when they figure out the protag is one of his targets, they save her on that basis alone. They don't really have any reason to be suspicious of her yet. As for her being suspicious of them, that sounds like it could be the conflict that's being glossed over. While it is addressed a little bit, it wasn't anything huge. One of her saviors suggests that they were going to leave, and she kinda clings to them, almost instantly dropping her suspicions on account of.. Well, being chased by an assassin. One thing I may not have made clear is that they [i]are not[/i] reaching this city any time soon. They don't even know where it is. It's the destination they all agree* to head to, but it's not somewhere they're expected to reach until about halfway through the book. And on that note, that actually [i]is[/i] the reason they decide to head there; it seems to be a good place to hide from Mr. Stabby. I think you're right, in that the big thing is that they need to spend more time with each other, because they're acting too chummy for a bunch of yahoos that just barely met. But, where I ran into a problem is, if I need them to spend more time with each other before they come up with the plan to head to the city, what exactly [i]are[/i] they going to do? Someone made a good suggestion there below that I'm going to try, in that the saviors have to go finish up some business, and the protag just tags along on account of still being chased by an assassin. That's all I got, though, and I still don't even know what that "business" is going to be yet. >.>

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  • I think adding some extra business in there is gonna work, but make sure you relate it to the overarching plot. You don't want to have a side quest effect where it feels like the characters are just wasting time, doing random errands that are unconnected with the main plot. I suggest making it something that leads them to the next step of the adventure or solving a problem that is preventing then from taking that next step, but there's always more options.

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  • Aye. That’s why I’m not entirely sure what that job will be yet. Don’t want it to be nonsense after all. What I’m thinking is it’ll be something to let the protag see that her saviors are genuinely good people, which wouod be a good reason for her to open up to them. That’s as far as I’ve gotten on that front, though. :p

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  • Hmmmm, something that makes them seem genuinely good... Oh, I know! Have them help a grandma across the street, then make the grandma a twist villian at the very end. They'll never see it coming!

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  • Or maybe they'll hand out some ice cream to the orphans, but the orphans were actually [i]DEMONS IN DISGUISE![/i] Heheh, nah, they were part of a group that protected people from magic threats, so what I'm thinking is probably protecting some people from some sort of magical threat. It is implied that they were in this city before figuring out the protag was the assassin's next target, so it's not too much of a stretch for them to have something they need to get done there, too.

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