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10/1/2022 9:29:39 PM
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I’m cooking some octopus right now.

First time doing it. Recipe: Mise en Place 1 Shallot (diced) 4 cloves garlic (diced) 2 tbs Parsley 5 lb octopus 1 1/2 tsp paprika 1/2 lemon juice 2 tomatoes (diced) 16 oz of spinach Salt and pepper to taste Olive oil. Pot of boiling water Greased sauté pan over medium heat 1. WASH YOUR FREAKING HANDS BEFORE HANDLING FOOD. 2. Divide octopus, discard head of you don’t want to eat it. Put aside for later. 3. WASH YOUR FREAKING HANDS AFTER HANDLING RAW MEAT. 4. Wash and disinfect cutting board. 5. Sauté spinach with half of the garlic until soft. Put aside until later. 6. Boil octopus for 2 1/2 minutes. Remove from boiling water with care. Season thoroughly. 7. Sauté shallots and rest of garlic until fragrant. 8. Add octopus to pan and sauté over medium heat for 10 minutes. Add tomatoes and spinach halfway through cooking. Toss occasionally. 11. You want the octopus to be soft and springy, retaining its shape. Like rubber. Cook longer if it’s still too soft. 12. Garnish with parsley and lemon juice. Dinner is served. [spoiler]HAIL HYD-*struck in the face with thrown frying pan*[/spoiler]

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