Tired of that non-skippable Lighthouse cutscene? Do you spend too much time going back and forth, round after round of wins and losses to stack up a ridiculous 9 win card? Are you frustrated by having a crew of badasses capable of handling their shit without even the courtesy of endless complaining? Man do I have the thing for you! For the low, low price of $10 USD (or £10 as apparently there is no exchange rate) I and my one-handed kid brother will carry you to a *flawless, **guaranteed 0 - 15 run through the Trials of Osiris. No more collecting wins while trying to do "gud". Enough with the tactics and strategery. Simply sign up, send me monies and you will never sniff a cumbersome win again! First 100 users get a ***unique " No Shader" shader!! *not actually flawless runs ** results not guaranteed *** i don't actually know what unique means.