How many guardians does it take to change a light bulb? [spoiler]100.[/spoiler] [spoiler]1 to change the bulb, and 99 to complain that it was better the way it was before.[/spoiler]

My girlfriend is just like crota. I get her on her knees. I smash the life out of her. She can barely get up and when I hit it too much and she can barely take anymore, she summons her oversoul (heh heh) and I finish her off. She erupts (😉) and I come back next week.

Always practice safe vex...[spoiler] you wouldn't want to end up with harpies[/spoiler]

A titan, a warlock and a hunter walk in to a bar and Moxxi says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Why do Bladedancers never talk in first-person? They're always going Third Man. How did the LW and FC get their names? One who welds LW has the last word while the other is the first to curse. Why do Goblins have one eye? Glasses vex them. What's an Exo's favorite treat? Sugar Cayde. In a past life, Banshee liked to tell people to bite his shiny metal ass. How do you call Crota? You Gjaller at him. Why are Fallen restaurants awesome? Their servitors are always a-round. An Acolyte summoned a cloud of smoke and disappeared. Another who watched asked "are you a wizard?" What's funnier than a dead Imperial Centurion? Another player punching you because you got to it first. What does Destiny and porn have in common? Both feature women in exotic clothes. I'm sure there's at least one of these that amused you.

dagashi kashi is on drugs

You guys wanna hear a conspiracy? Bungie hasn't been listening to us enough, ears are used to listen, the bones in the ears are called the hammer, anvil, and stirrup, hammer of sol is over-nerfed, hammer of sol was nerfed at the beginning of SRL, sparrows have stirrups... Oh boy, hear comes the conspiracy. This is a conspiracy, Conspiracy Theory D, there are 2 d's in the middle of 'middle,' the middle ear is where the bones are, there are 6 bones in total, there are 6 letters in middle. Adding all of the percents in the 2.1 update gives you 317.78, searching that on Google images shows you a picture of Poland made on April 9th, the April 9th weekly update had a picture of men wearing kilts, kilts are from Scotland, Googling 'Poland and Scotland' will show you an image of a soccer game, the number 20 is visible in the picture. 20 is mentioned in the update regarding forgemaster, you forge with an anvil, yet another bone, it's also brought up with Hawkmoon's range, it's brought up with Super Good Advice's chance to return ammo on missed shots... SGA's reload is the same as Hawkmoon's RoF, SGA's RoF minus Hawkmoon's reload is 49, 49 is 7 squared, 7 is Bungie's favorite number, the first weapon to appear in the database with equal RoF and reload is Payment VI, It shows up on page 6, VI means 6, the values of the RoF and reload are 66, the stability is 60, that's 7 6's. 7 times 6 is 42, a square with perimeter 42 has side length 10.5, which would have area 110.25, 11, 2, and 5 are prime, my name has those numbers in it, the numbers missing are 3 and 7, the range of Payment VI is 37. Every stat has been used on that weapon but magazine and impact, which are 14 and 24. The prime factors of them are 2, 3, and 7, It's missing 5 and 11, 511-237=274, 2, 7, and 4 are all numbers at the end of Suros rocket launchers, their differences in stability and reload speed are 8 and 6, both rockets have 8 options for the first column, leaving us with yet another 6. 7 paragraphs have gone by now, this is the 8th paragraph and we have 8 6's, Bungie has 6 letters, now we have 9 6's, 666 666 666, we can make the devil's number 3 times, the house of devils is a Fallen house, Variks is Fallen, he says "Yessssss" often. Why? Let's wrap this up. The last character of every paragraph so far (minus punctuation) has been 'y e e s s 7 6 S y', rearranged to be 'yyeess 67', an extended 'yes' along with Conspiracy Theory's impact, which means we're almost done with this conspiracy. The first character of every paragraph has been 'Y T A 2 S 7 E 7 L', there are 2 weapons with '77' in their name, so we can take that out, leaving us with 'YTASEL' when you unscramble those letters, you get... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

My K/D ratio. It will keep you in stitches as they sow me back together :(

The community not being toxic, cancerous, and anything in between.

What gun does a hunter use? [spoiler]A nerf gun![/spoiler]

Destiny is gonna last 10 years

[url=http://www.bungie.net/en/profile]this person's stats[/url]

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I need a cleanse