First off I would say 95% of the interactions I've had with other Destiny players has been incredibly positive.
Just tonight I joined a raid group for Vault of Glass, pretty easy so it didn't require speaking into my mic. The group was pretty talkative to each other and seemed nice. Half way through my power flickered turning my TV off but leaving my One on. I spoke to explain I needed a second to turn my TV back on. That's when 2/3 of the men in the group started laughing and making inappropriate comments about me being a girl.
They wouldn't continue the game until the party leader booted me, thankfully he was okay(not okay enough to defend me) and didn't just boot me. They said things like I shouldn't be playing destiny, I was probably not in college and working a low level job. They made comments about how I probably didn't have a boyfriend and was lesbian. They made sexually abusive comments and laughed at anything the others said. They didn't sound like high school boys either, they sounded like grown men.
I got their gamer tags, not that that would do anything. But I feel horrible, I was already apprehensive to first speak to any group going into a raid and now I don't think I ever want to.
Is there any way to counteract this? Should I preface every post for recruitment that I'm a woman and if that's going to be a problem not to add me? Not speak during raids?
[b]tl;dr[/b] Raid group said unkind things and wouldn't finish raid when they found out I was a girl. What's the best way to make sure that doesn't happen in the future?
[b]edit 1[/b]: To add better paragraphs and spacing for easier reading and added a tl;dr
[b]Update[/b]: I went to bed at 300 replies after reading all those but upon waking up there's no way I can read every single response though I'd like to. I am appreciative of the kindness, I really didn't expect anyone to reply except to tell me to get over it. I will try to add all the people who messaged me to add them and I am checking out Dames of Destiny. I think avoiding random groups on the forums is my best move.
I have already reported and blocked the players to Microsoft, if anyone could message me and tell me how to report them to bungie I'd really appreciate that.
I'm not making anything up, I can't prove they did it but that doesn't mean it didn't happen to me. I am not grouping all men together, like I said 95% of players are awesome. I do need to get some thicker skin, it's the first time I've heard a group verbally abuse me instead of just seeing written since grade school. It was a hurtful experience but I recognize it happens to all players. Saying that, there isn't anything wrong with seeing out to share that experience and get advice on how to deal with the situation. If you want to make this into a menvswomen thing that's entirely your false perception and I never felt that way about the situation.
If you'd like to get a direct response to me I'd say send me a message on here or xbox live(gt:Dance48) and I'll get back to you.
Again, thank you for the kindness and advice I really didn't expect any of it and it makes me feel a lot better about what happened and what I can do so it doesn't happen again.
English
#Destiny
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2 OdpowiedziYour probably over reacting
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3 OdpowiedziThe thirst is real. Flood gates have been opened
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19 OdpowiedziWell first of all the deuce bags on PS4 are way more kind than the deuce bags on Xbone.
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Carlosbeltraniv if you're on ps4 add me we can raid any time i have 3 32's i do it mostly for fun. I am a married man my wife sits next to me almost all the time srs
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Edytowany przez użytkownika dnice120: 4/20/2015 9:11:11 PMI rather play with women gamers then squeakers and the famous "know it all". Unforgivable that those turds acted the way they did. Anytime you need to do a raid or night fall I'll help you out.
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Yay don't care for thread l, I just wanted to be the 1000th reply!
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If this is real, then those guys were just immature douche nozzles. Don't pay them any mind. There are plenty of us true gamers that don't care who you are as long as you pull your weight. If this is fake, then go away Anita.
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1 OdpowiedźThey probably have small members
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It's unfortunate. My group have accepted all walks of life. Old dudes. Super young dudes. Girls (we have two in our clan). Our only real guideline is if you're cool. If you're cool, you're in. That's it. And you can't be overly sensitive. We bust each other chops quite a bit. But if you're lame and can't take a joke, you gotta go. Start up a clan. Then you'll have control over who stays and who goes.
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Edytowany przez użytkownika Lost_Garne: 4/20/2015 8:49:18 PMWell. First off, I'd like to give you my sincerest of apologies. And as you may already know, most first person shooter communties are full of young/immature people. These people are far too young to be respectful or even sensible in any fashion. Especially to a female. Now, why is it that they treat Females with less respect? Well, that is due to sexist slurs/remarks commonly used within these community groups and the internet as a whole. These remarks were meant as a 'joke' but were taken too far, and have now created a streotype towards Females. "Go back to the kitchen"/ "You're just a *Bloop* looking for attention" etc. None of these people treat others like a decent human being. And they should expect the same in return (Well, apart from their partners in the crime atleast). All you've got to do is pick your groups well. If your group is disrespectful and your fireteam leader is ignorant then it's time to leave, and find another. I assure you though, an asshole is always an asshole. To Males or Females. You just need to let them know that, and dispose of them.
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2 Odpowiedzibrush it off. they wouldn't say this to your face and even if they sound like grown men, they're obviously children. I have a mother who taught me manners, especially to women, despite the situation. you're just raiding with the wrong people. if you're on xb1 my raid clan is respectful of all members of the clan and in the fireteam
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Option one -be honest, don't wait till the last possible minute to talk, they are already annoyed that they are in whatever situation they are in and suprised aren't welcome during stress. If they know off the hop who they are playing with, you'll know if you want to raid with them or not. Dames of Destiny is a dedicated clan for women to feel safe in, and they have a list of safe clans. Option 2 Lie, tell them you are a squeaker and that you were good enough for their mom last night. They'll either laugh or kick you either way you are better off
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I'd say join our group there are a fair few girls but mainly guys. Not one ounce of prejudice (if there is then I haven't seen it). Thought they do always question whether or not I really am from England... Sadly were on ps4. Don't stand for it. Idiots shouldn't break the game for you... Let Bungie do that ;p
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So I think Taylor Swift has the best mindset when it comes to things like this. The players are gonna play The haters are gonna hate But she's just gonna shake it off.
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2 Odpowiedziyou can raid with me from now on :) no hate here. btw I'm not thirsty just makes me mad hearing about retarded ppl in raids.
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Honestly, the best course of action I can think of would to just avoid playing with those types of people. Obviously in that situation you couldn't have known, but they were clearly just sexist idiots.
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You are playing on the Internet. Nothing should be offensive because everything that is said half the time is offensive
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10 OdpowiedziI will talk smack to you and cause you trouble if you specify you're a girl.
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Vanessa Carlton is love, Vanessa Carlton is life.
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call them virgin nerds? lol
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There's some real idiots out there. It's usually randoms or from LFG or similar, which is why they don't have groups. When they do find a group to usually more idiots. Finding a few good groups to play with will fix most of it.
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"I do need to get some thicker skin, it's the first time I've heard a group verbally abuse me instead of just seeing written since grade school." I'm glad you came to that conclusion. You're bound to be hurt at some point in your life. For your own sake, don't go to pieces. Best of luck.
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That doesnt happen much. Most people are too shy to say much at all, let alone insult people cuz of stupid stuff like that. My advice: Find a team that you can do raids with regularly so you run into less people like that.
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1 OdpowiedźYou are 1/3.50 billion, clearly not a minority. Stand up for yourself and do not let anyone put you down, most of all yourself! Use this experience to remind yourself that others are not all alike and some will be caustic. Learn from it and use it positively, else, they would have hurt you again without trying! We are not all like them, hopefully in real life you meet nicer folk...
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If this seriously happen. Damn it,finally done,I could of expect it from a 10-15 YO kid/teenager but from grown men? That's another level of stupidity (I don't want to offend anyone that does the same). Some may say "Women want equality,we just gave it to them",in that case,it'll be better if you change your actitude,that's over the top. But that's my opinion,it's not a fact. You can judge it as same as I can judge yours. But if you're going full apesh1t over a damn comment,then it's better that you don't even write a word.
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6 Odpowiedzi3 words can ruin a mans confidence for the rest of his life!