First off I would say 95% of the interactions I've had with other Destiny players has been incredibly positive.
Just tonight I joined a raid group for Vault of Glass, pretty easy so it didn't require speaking into my mic. The group was pretty talkative to each other and seemed nice. Half way through my power flickered turning my TV off but leaving my One on. I spoke to explain I needed a second to turn my TV back on. That's when 2/3 of the men in the group started laughing and making inappropriate comments about me being a girl.
They wouldn't continue the game until the party leader booted me, thankfully he was okay(not okay enough to defend me) and didn't just boot me. They said things like I shouldn't be playing destiny, I was probably not in college and working a low level job. They made comments about how I probably didn't have a boyfriend and was lesbian. They made sexually abusive comments and laughed at anything the others said. They didn't sound like high school boys either, they sounded like grown men.
I got their gamer tags, not that that would do anything. But I feel horrible, I was already apprehensive to first speak to any group going into a raid and now I don't think I ever want to.
Is there any way to counteract this? Should I preface every post for recruitment that I'm a woman and if that's going to be a problem not to add me? Not speak during raids?
[b]tl;dr[/b] Raid group said unkind things and wouldn't finish raid when they found out I was a girl. What's the best way to make sure that doesn't happen in the future?
[b]edit 1[/b]: To add better paragraphs and spacing for easier reading and added a tl;dr
[b]Update[/b]: I went to bed at 300 replies after reading all those but upon waking up there's no way I can read every single response though I'd like to. I am appreciative of the kindness, I really didn't expect anyone to reply except to tell me to get over it. I will try to add all the people who messaged me to add them and I am checking out Dames of Destiny. I think avoiding random groups on the forums is my best move.
I have already reported and blocked the players to Microsoft, if anyone could message me and tell me how to report them to bungie I'd really appreciate that.
I'm not making anything up, I can't prove they did it but that doesn't mean it didn't happen to me. I am not grouping all men together, like I said 95% of players are awesome. I do need to get some thicker skin, it's the first time I've heard a group verbally abuse me instead of just seeing written since grade school. It was a hurtful experience but I recognize it happens to all players. Saying that, there isn't anything wrong with seeing out to share that experience and get advice on how to deal with the situation. If you want to make this into a menvswomen thing that's entirely your false perception and I never felt that way about the situation.
If you'd like to get a direct response to me I'd say send me a message on here or xbox live(gt:Dance48) and I'll get back to you.
Again, thank you for the kindness and advice I really didn't expect any of it and it makes me feel a lot better about what happened and what I can do so it doesn't happen again.
English
#Destiny
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5 OdpowiedziSame threads....... EVERY day
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1 OdpowiedźI almost believe that you are exaggerating a little.
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The Dames and safe gamers are great.
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1 OdpowiedźThis much text for 5% of negative interaction?
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Edytowany przez użytkownika PinkiePie: 4/22/2015 10:12:56 PMThat's awful. >^< I can't relate, but you definitely shouldn't take it to heart like this.. :L
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They may sound like grown adults but they are in high school because I've heard then as well maybe the same ppl you were playing with as well. I'm 27 and a lot of ppl say I don't sound I'm an adult because my voice sounds so different
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You're beautiful, and words woulnt bring youuuuu downnnn, sooo dont you bring me down todayyyyyy
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I hate when players say "abuse is just part of gaming, get over it". No it's part of your way of gaming, not mine. If someone said that at a football match or a workplace it wouldn't be ok. It's just that gamers get to hide behind that same perceived anonymity and crowd mentality that was prevelant at football matches in the 80s and 90s. Just because you accept the reality you are presented with doesn't mean it's right; defy convention, break the mould and stop being a douche just because you are surrounded by other douches. It's lazy and weak.
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These men or whatever are probably pissed they can't get a woman. In any case, that's not a way to act. Sure, I'm a guy who can't get a woman either, but I treat everyone the same. At least I try to. If anything, I try to treat her like "just one of the guys", no differently. Actually, that can help some guys remain centered on the game and as it's called, not be so "thirsty" as other people have posted, or something like that.
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2 OdpowiedziGive me gamer tags I have a surprise for them.
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Codename ButtHurt
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I would say to you and other female guardians: Don't let this experience color your view of Destiny, or playing video games in general. Sadly, there are plenty of immature gamers happy to mouth off to strangers, but there are also some awesome folks out there. Should you ever find yourself on the PS4 side of things, I'd happily raid with you.
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Lame. You should never be treated differently unless you're a douche of any gender.
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A lot of us has experienced similar things but the absolute majority have been really cool and awesome! Dames is great, I'm one of them and they are an awesome clan... Lots of ways to hook up with new people in there. The safegamers as well. I also game with a bunch of super nice guys that not once have questioned my skill because of my gender. Never ever! Also, I would report those guys to both bungie and Xbox/ PlayStation regardless..
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I'm sorry this happened to you. What a bunch of dongbags!
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2 OdpowiedziThis is getting old.
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4 OdpowiedziAdd me I do raids all the time and me and my friends dont give a shit if your a girl, a guy, an alien, Bigfoot we'll do raids with anyone
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Out here in the wild, this is how we talk. [spoiler]jokes you have my sympathy [/spoiler]
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Edytowany przez użytkownika technoguy1754312: 4/22/2015 4:57:46 PMThat's messed up people online I'll never understand act different. I don't see the point if your a girl that just inapropiant to just do that. Men are no better if we were you just saying. Honestly I just tell them to shut up or I'll kick them out if I heard that. Your a girl have fun let her do as she like its a game anyhow. My friend she got judge in raid for not having a good rocket and told she need to be kicked out I told them if you kick her I go to it stupid I tryed to help her get a good rocket to and I still do. I actually save my second gjallahorn to give as a gift of friendship if trading ever drop. Either way miss don't ever listen to men online simply smile play the game if they talk crap press mute OK:) oh and don't feel hurt they won't do anything physical so it just words and even that has no effect. Enjoy
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2 OdpowiedziGo on damesofdestiny. Just female gamers.
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2 Odpowiedzithere should be a way to report them to bungie from in the game. i think its in the interact menu.
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1 OdpowiedźDo you have any guy characters or is playing as the opposite gender a guy thing?
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Gang of goons! Female or male, if you got the gear and guns....your in
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Sounds like you just got a group of assholes. They're probly fat with a 4" penis they haven't seen without a mirror in 20 years. My group never has a problem gaming with women, then again 4/5 are married or have years invested in a significant other so we have a half assed idea of how to respect women
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1 OdpowiedźSounds like you just found a group of sweaty virgins, that's all. You shouldn't worry about it at all. Some guys just have no idea how to act in the presence of a woman. Its a telltale sign of virginity.....and acne. ;)
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Also do you know how to report them? Because. That also might help