(Page 63)
The more time that passes, the more anxious and hopeless Shadow becomes.
Focused in her mission to help eliminate the scorned barons and overwhelmed with worry for Variks, Shadow hardly rests. She is no closer to figuring out where the Judgment scribe has fled to.
Though, she had to admit, working alongside Spider's associates was... satisfying. They fought well together, protecting one another. She hoped she had managed to impress them just as much.
A faint sense of guilt settles in the pit of her stomach. Would Variks approve of these houseless eliksni?
She did not bother considering how her own people felt. She already knows, as they have made it quite clear to her.
[i] "You should have been eliksni." [/i]Variks's words echo in her mind. She favors remembering his encouraging attitude over her peoples' consistent negativity surrounding her choice in ...friendships.
Pride wars against her guilt. How thrilling to be working side by side with the eliksni.
But however talented either guardian or eliksni might have been, it had not sufficed in their attempt to hunt the barons. Responsibility to kill them rests heavily, a burden, on Shadow's shoulders. She knows it was what Cayde— and Variks— would have wanted.
[i] "You think you will succeed where Cayde-6 failed?" [/i]She hears the harsh, grinding voice of the Fanatic in her mind, filling her with doubt. No, Shadow didn't think she would succeed — not alone.
[i] "Killing is what you do— killing is all you do."[/i]
She raises her chin defiantly against him[i]. No. I don't just kill... I also love. Something you could never understand.[/i]
It only serves to remind her once again that she desperately needs to find Variks. What was there to look forward to, if not that? Base survival, living only because she drew breath. Her closest ally, her vanguard, is gone. Her place in the tower... wavering.
That is her goal here, just as important as taking her vengeance on these barons.
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