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Destiny

Hablemos de Destiny.
2/1/2015 10:03:57 AM
15

Pity Parties and You - Using Ailments to Gain Attention and Sympathy is Low

Let's have a discussion, one where we mention physical and mental issues, how they can impair the ability for people to function properly, and why empowering people who use them to alter peoples' perception of them is severely negative - and the people whom behave in that manner are scum. Also, I suppose I should also talk about how this actually pertains to Destiny and myself for having this opinion. Tonight I was perusing the fine selection of wares the Destiny Forums contained and came across a post regarding how one person believed themselves worthy of a paid position because of their skill at the game, past experience and the all-important illness they were suffering. What intrigues me the most about the post is that it was, essentially, prefaced with the fact that they have an illness. In fact, the very first thing this person wants you to know about them is they have a condition. Not their skills, their qualifications - anything that truly displays the reason they deserve a job. Did you know: outside of filling in your name on an application, for pretty much anything, the part that asks if you have any kind of illness/disability is, indeed, the shortest part of the application process. Do you suffer from a disability or chronic illness: No/Yes. If Yes, what illness/disability do you suffer from? That is it. Everything else asks for references (professional or personal), the types of work you performed in the past and everything those duties entailed. Instead, this person takes to the forums in a bold attempt to gain sympathy and attention for his personal plight. So, what gives me the right to hark on someone for trying to make a name for themselves because of their ailments? Because I suffer from a disability. That and my moral compass isn't so jacked up that I can't find my way to any place I choose to go. I have epilepsy. Not Grand Mal seizures, by any means, but sometimes incredibly severe. When I am about to experience one, I feel a warning sign - an intense feeling of Deja Vu - which lasts a scant couple seconds before I am stricken with an episode. At that point, I get extremely nauseous, my throat tightens as if I am about to vomit. Whilst experiencing that I also have ... visions, flashbacks, sudden pictures or memories that flood my eye of mind - I see the real world, but my brain sees things that have already happened, random imaginings, or experiences that never happened. I can;t be sure as to what they are because I cannot remember anything I see when it happens. I do know that if I try to latch onto one of those memories the nausea worsens to the point I almost feel faint. While this is going on I have no control over my motor skills. I may start walking randomly to ... anywhere. I may start humming a tune, or whistle (I apparently hum a lot). I may snap my fingers. The most important part is that I have no control over my body at this point - I am on auto-pilot. This entire experience lasts from mere seconds, up to just a couple minutes. I always try to look at my watch or a clock when I feel a seizure coming on, as to properly write down the time that elapsed during that episode in my seizure diary (or seizure novel, because manliness - From Hell's heart, I seize at me). This will also leave me drained for close to an hour, sometimes longer, depending on the length of the seizure. On good days, I won't have any. On normal days, I'll have one, maybe two. On horrible days, I will have many - the last horrible day I had recorded 12 seizures. I try to sleep on days like those, to rest and recover, and I will have seizures while I dream, and the seizures are much worse when I am unconscious. And it is on those days where I need to be watched because after the first four or five, I will slowly start losing my grip on reality - those memories/visions taking hold and I become so exhausted and delirious that I believe I am no longer in the real-world, that I am in some kind of dream state. It's on those days I have thought about killing myself, because I feel like I am actually asleep, that this world isn't real, and need to wake up from this nightmare. Those days are very few and far between, but the thought of experiencing those again gives me a pit in my stomach. I've lost several jobs because of these seizures. I used to be a journalist, then these cost me. Then I was a baker, lost that job, as well. Worked at a convenience store. Worked at a milk farm as a hired hand. Each time a new job came into my hands, within a couple mere months I would lose the position. Never due to the seizures, of course, as that would be a violation of Equal Opportunity Employment, but always for a different reason, a fake one. And times have not been kind to me because of this. I've had to get help from people, the family pitched in and let me move back in with them because medical reasons - the MRI's and other tests I had to do cost me a fortune, and I am still in debt with hospitals around the region. I still have been unable to get another job because epilepsy has taken away my privilege to drive, which makes finding work even harder. However, I had a great group of people I associated with donate to help pay those bills off, and I am forever grateful for them, because they helped me survive. I've had friends let me house sit for some extra money to pay my bills. I've had others just give me money. My parents still continue to do a lot for me. I have the most wonderful and most supportive girlfriend on Earth, who has stuck by me through all of this and has never wavered. I'm very blessed, despite my limitations. I'm a very lucky man. Others are not as fortunate as me. Others suffer not just from their ailments but from the extra costs accrued due to them. Those are the people that truly need the support. And that's why I am outraged, so much so that I take something (my epilepsy) that I rarely talk about to anyone, let alone a forum full of people whom I do not know, by the actions people take in order to gain an 'advantage'. They play the sympathy card in order to be looked at more favorably. It's disingenuous, despicable. This is akin to a parent, who has someone who can watch their kids, take their children into an establishment to pick up, and return, an application as a means to be looked at differently - have an added edge against their competition. Using a condition to try to further a career goal, or get started doing some kind of work is low, it's deceitful. Borderline manipulative. They want to be seen as someone who suffers from something rather than a person who can actually do what others are most likely more qualified to do. They prey on peoples' consciences, their empathy and sympathy - their *need* to do a good deed. That's how I see that person. Bungie does good. Not, does well - they do good. The most famous instance of this, for Destiny, thus far, was the Fate of All Fools situation. They gave someone a weapon because they were suffering through surgery after surgery. And it;s special. No one else, as far as I know, has it. That's a gift, a very special gift, and it's heart-warming. So the cynic in me wonders how many people talk about their illnesses just to get a free item, or special treatment, while the other, light-hearted part of me wants to believe these impassioned stories are there to encourage strength. But the specific post, which prompted me to write this out of the disgust I felt, seemed like nothing more than someone attempting to take advantage of a user-base and developer for personal gain because of their physical plight. In essence, how people react to what they endure shows their true character. I suffer from epilepsy, as well as other things I won't mention, and I expect no special treatment - I don't want that. The only things I ask for are to be treated as an equal to someone who is as skilled as me and for understanding when I am suffering from a bout of seizures. I am a person, a human. I am a male, a gamer. I'm compassionate and passionate. I get angry when I feel wronged. I get sad when I'm hurt emotionally. I laugh when I find something funny. I'm no different from any other person who reacts the same way I do in certain situations. The only difference is that I have a disability. I'm different, but I'm not different. So, don't support those people who want to capitalize on the good will of others - behavior like that should not be tolerated. Do anything other than that. They are not good people, just a person feigning good - otherwise they wouldn't try to use their character and ailments as a weapon.

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  • There are some who do it for attention, some who do it because they love the game but can't find a group who will understand their problem and have patience. Then ones who suffer and just want to have a little joy in their crazed life. Weed out the attention wanters and keep in mind some just want to let people know to dodge people who can't be patient . Not all the apples are rotted in the barrel.

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  • TL;DR But isn't that issue none of your business? Now I don't spend my time on here 24/7 but I'm sure doctors and professors don't write lectures and life lessons on #Destiny. Come on man! Just shut up and live and let live. You sound like one of those YouTube commenters who gets easily offended [spoiler]uhh I'm depressed, and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo offended. Unsubbed unfollowed unfriended.[/spoiler] And it seems like you feel pretty strong about this, so why aren't you talking to, I dunno, a professional? My point is, just chill the -blam!- out

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    • I agree with you completely but if I was being 100% honest, this post could (COULD) be the same thing you're complaining about. You announced your illness in a very descriptive way which could be taken as though you were expecting to receive something for your disability and covered it up with stating how bad it was people doing just that. I believe you're sincere in your post but its best to leave some things unsaid. They won't get special care from anyone. Our sympathy yes but they'll never get anywhere in life begging for stuff cuz they're "ill". Take the high road and smile.

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    • TL;DR

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    • 1000% agreed I get sick of people who look for attention and use their ailment for 5 minutes of fame. I think I remember around the time of the Fate of all Fools incident there was another forum user who tried to play that card and even went so far as to "prove" it by posting pictures on imgur and then he put the links on the forum. I asked him how we were supposed to know if that was truly him in the links he described and everytime he would answer with some bullshit crap answer that would just deflect my question instead of answering it. Turns out the guy was faking it the whole time, he was using someone elses pics without their permission and posing as that person so he could get a little feel good moment for a 5 minutes yet when I pointed that out I was berated, called names and all that jazz. Some people are so deluded that they don't care if that person is just looking for attention they think they are being nice but instead turn into huge hypocrites when they turn around and spew the nastiest of insults just because someone calls the attention seeker out.

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    • You do realise you just described life. People use their ailments to get their way all the time. People are selfish, we do everything for our own self pleasure even if we sometimes don't even know. Look at yourself now, you ploughed a post that I read, who should I feel sorry for? The guy who wanted the job, yes he may have been needy with his post, but he was also very humble with his responses, even to the ones that belittled him. Or you, who has been hyper sensitive to the situation, but laying a valid point, both are considerable cases. Although, I'm guessing you wrote this to clear your own conscience. I hoped it all worked as I know how it feels to be annoyed at something and any little helps. I also hold enough respect for you, for dealing with what are you are going through, a close friend of mine suffers from epilepsy and even though I don't experience the seizures myself I understand the pressures and circumstances it evolves. Good day to you sir and I hope you come to terms with yours gripes as it only infuriates us to a place where caring isn't really worth while, especially on places such as these.

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    • Never getting that 20secs back.

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    • The wall! Its huge!

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      • Oh...I thought you said panty party.

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        • I must say, you write very well. But that's was really not needed ..... calm down with the life story.

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          • #tl;dr Brevity. Use fewer. Say more.

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            • Yep, it has been going on for years. Pretty much kids attention whoring because they have a mental issue, such as their self-diagnosed depression etc. this earth really is a cancerous place we have made it to be.

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            • Yep, it has been going on for years. Pretty much kids attention whoring because they have a mental issue, such as their self-diagnosed depression etc. this earth really is a cancerous place we have made it to be.

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            • A very well spoken post. I have a couple of disabilities as well. But that's life. I work around them, I don't expect others to. I bought my own company to make sure I couldn't be fired or "let go"as they say, due to a disability. People who use pity to take advantage of other people's emotions just saddens me. It's a shame that people are so manipulative that they have to resort to those tactics. Thanks for your post. I've had a few Grand Mall seizures and they are awful. I vote that life becomes a little more manageable for you in the future. Take care

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              • So... You want a Fate ofAll Fools?

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