I talk more about my insecurities/mental health in a way that makes them seem a little overwhelming or in a way that could make one think I cannot handle them.
There are days when they are that way.
There are also days when it’s just a feeling and I get over it. A thing some of y’all know is that I am highly extroverted. In a way that if I do not have a high degree of social stimulation every day or so, I get in a horrible funk that can only be released by the stimuli. For that reason, I love talking to people. The more casual the better because socially that’s where people start to drop their guards and you learn so much about them.
Small talk is my paradise, truly.
Isolation is not good for anyone really.
it’s particularly not good for me.
Strangely enough, I hate people.
It’s confusing for me to articulate really. I guess I desire to be accepted as Cupid Valentino and not what people see Cupid Valentino as.
I really don’t trust people to one unconditionally accepting so I don’t believe people who are oooor even more self sabotaging, I think there is no way they could accept me.
I’m stuck at an impasse.
That’s my infrequent mental health post
Be yourself kids, don’t get stuck in the stereotypes of what ever larger group of intersectionality you’ve been shoehorned into.
I spent three years yearning for someone. Watched them grow as a person. Helped them through some tough times. I was afraid to confess out of fear of rejection.
Sure enough, within a month of confessing I f[b]u[/b]cked things up. I was rejected on Thanksgiving Day and told last night to move on. Hurts like hell.
Sometimes I wish I could just... turn off. There are lots of people who depend on me to perform
though, and I've set a precedent of excellence for myself, so unfortunately this means late nights and silent tears.
I'm accepted by most, but it comes at a great cost.