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Editado por Kaph:
12/5/2014 3:45:01 AM
220
DeeJ, this is how I imagine your staff meetings go
Project Lead up on whiteboard, all caps: HOW DO WE MAKE PEOPLE SPEND MORE TIME IN GAME? ACTIVISION WILL PULL SUPPORT IF THE USERBASE KEEPS DROPPING!
Aspiring developer: *giggle* I know! Let's reset some of their progress if they wish to progress! *giggle*
Project lead: Great idea! Let's pilot it to exotics only, for now. Also make sure that we force players into both crucible AND coop if they ever wish to get their hands on new legendaries. I'm tired of hearing that our crucible players don't go to Venus for some bloom jobs.
DeeJ: You guys are -blam!-ing killing me here... Do you play this game you dimwit coding bastards? Cause I've got at least 3 million players with an average 300 hours per player. Those are your hardcore fans that didn't migrate into FC4, DA, or GTAV. They're still pissed about the raid, they just got the buffs they wanted, and I don't even know how to begin explaining these changes when the whole community, i.e. our customers, is expecting fixes first.
Project lead: Just throw one of your so called feedback posts, have them dump their anger into it and soon this will all gloss over, like it always has.
DeeJ: They're getting pretty sick and tired of that too. For crying out loud, we just gave them a sweet update. Look at this data: Thorn ownership and max level went from 17% to around 68% in a matter of one week. You're basically backstabbing all those users who just farmed the heck out of this weapon to enjoy in the new raid. Now you're telling them to either live with it as is, or completely reset its progress if they want it at its peak?
Aspiring developer: Exactly! They will spend more time in game!
DeeJ: Shut up you inbred code monkey, you started all this. You couldn't think of adding more events or creating a 6 player hard patrol mode? All good ideas that came from them through me, and it would have tripled server time. Why do I even attend this damn meeting? I'm not really adding value here if you're not listening to me.
Project lead: Just do your job. We are going through with this.
DeeJ: Off I go to be the scapegoat once more. Next time at least buy me dinner and drinks first.
[i]Edit: Totally didn't expect this to catch on (let alone an official reply from DeeJ himself). Thanks to all who took this in with a smile on their face.[/i]
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248 RespuestasI'm a lot drunker in meetings than this teleplay lets on.
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Tbh I don't think DeeJ is even invited to meetings. He is just told what to say.
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I lol'd
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You give Deej way too much credits.. He's a loser/push over like everyone else at Bungie.
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short sighted and no im not on about your post
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I doubt the meetings go anything like this at all. Nice attempt at making deej out to be our hero though I have no opinion either way. What I do know is, bungie is failing in epic fashion at providing meaningful fixes to glitches in their raid content. They're trying to balance guns through PvP and making lot's of changes all at once. They don't appear to listen to or communicate effectively with their playerbase. Oh, and coding is hard, so be happy with whatever they decide to get around to adding/fixing, even if it's buggy/broken or creates a host of new problems.
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#ThatMomentWhenDeejRespondsWithNONButthurtReply
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1 RespuestaNecro bump
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Bbbbuuuummmmpppp
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1 Respuesta
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3 RespuestasMore like... DeeJ: Um... S-sir... About the last patch... The players pretty strongly, um... dislike it. Project Lead: How dare you speak to me?! Did you think we actually [i]wanted[/i] to really hear their feedback? Are you -blam!-ing serious?! We're developers - they're not qualified to tell us how to make a game! Go back and tell them it's for their own good, you idiot! *shows DeeJ the back of his hand* DeeJ: *throws his arms up to shield his face* Y-yes, My Lord! *cowardly scurries away* -Back in the forums- DeeJ: Hey guys, good new! I had a talk with the dev team and they said all the -blam!-ed up changes were actually what they intended! *phew* Guess that settles that, eh? Keep the feedback coming. We're always listening!
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Bahahahaha... ... ... ... ... >:( -blam!- Destiny!
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I dont know why i keep telling myself DeeJ is a woman......sorry DeeJ im not saying you are, i just keep forgetting youre a dude.
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32 Respuestas[b][u]in light of the news i felt the need to Express my emotions in a poem.. I call it:[/u][/b] [i]Ode to an icebreaker 'T was a stormy day, wet and cold. By xur this day , you were sold. 23 coins to start a new, oblivious of the storm that brew. A new daughter born, in midst of that storm. Clueless to her future torn. I named her ice, it was her name. Together we played the game. Kill or love it is all the same for only the creators we can blame. Years we train skills we gain. In the end all we did was train to keep us sane. In your path to adulthood you got good, just like i knew you would. In sixes heads would pop after six i knew you'd stop. Only for a moment and then six more bodys drop. All was good but not for long for i knew the day that storm would come. This day the evil Messenger would arrive, "DeeJ is my name much obliged. Dont shoot the messenger" he would say, but the evil lord bungEA is on its way. To my dismay i start to pray, pray for this day to go away. In the distance the ugly beast shows his face, his heart a true disgrace.. his mind an empty space. I hear his deep bellowing voice that gives me no choice... "Hand over your daughter so i may defile her, rip her innards strip her fur for my name is truly xur" Forumtears many i shed far and wide, my cheeks are wet side to side. All for naught my heart distrought for years so hard i fought. My daughters life i give to start a new, all to make a better you. With his voice black and deep, silently i weep. The black lord turns to me to whisper in my ear loud and clear and without a hitch....[/i] [spoiler]that will be $19.99 BITCH[/spoiler]
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27 RespuestasEditado por Bucket of Tears: 12/4/2014 5:49:19 PMPlot twist: They actually have multiple updates ready but one is selected via RNG.
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5 RespuestasEditado por Xesty: 12/4/2014 9:35:23 PMMeanwhile at a Destiny owners home. "WHY DEEJ?!? WHY?!? Do you know how much crap I've had to go through from my girlfriend to play long enough to upgrade my... OH DEAR GOD SHES FOUND ME!!!!
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14 RespuestasEditado por BattleCry1986: 12/5/2014 2:00:51 PMProject Lead: “Deej! We have an epic update for the player base we are rolling out at the same time as the new hard mode raid in January.” Deej: “Excellent, are you fixing the game bugs?” Project Lead: “Nope, it’s better than that.” Deej: “Are you changing the Vault of Glass RNG system?” Project Lead: “ha ha haha, not even close.” Deej: “Is it a vault space upgrade, or more strike diversity, or hard mode Patrol missions, or are you reworking the PVP rewards system, or maybe a permanent Item perks reroll function? Project Lead: “Why would we do any of those things?” Deej: “Alright then, what is it?” Project Lead: “In the new update players can choose to trade in their guardian for a new guardian with a 3rd skill tree!” Deej: “Trade in?” Project Lead: “Yeah it’s much easier to wright the code that way. We just delete the player save file off of our server and allow the player to start a new one.” Deej: “But what about all the progress the players have made?” Project Lead: “That’s the BEST PART! All of a player’s items will be deleted and they will start back at level 1. Think of how much time everyone will spend playing the game to get back to where they were pre update” Deej: <facepalm> “I quit”
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14 RespuestasEditado por Dovahkrunk: 12/4/2014 6:57:19 PMProject Lead: Deej, put the word out that a live update is on the way. It's jam-packed with awesome stuff, everyone is going to love these fixes. Deej: Have you even tried Destiny yet? Project Lead: Yeah, I'm a level 6 robot sorcerer. I also have a level 4 thief, she's an alien with green hair. I didn't see an option to name her, I guess it's the default name of "Guardian." I like the floating snowflake thingy, who does the voice--is it dude from Fantasy Island? Da plane, da plane... Deej: *clears throat* Project Lead: Question about the story--I wake up in a traffic jam in Soviet Russia, I think it's 1970. Why are mutants chasing me? No one seems to speak Russian. In Soviet Russia, videogame plays you... Deej: *closes his eyes* Jesus Christ already, what's in the update. I need details for the website. Project Lead: Well, uhhhh for one thing, you can now randomly earn Spirit Bloom when you turn in a bounty. Deej: ... Project Lead: I know, right?!? Isn't that frickin' awesome?!?
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That's excellent sir. You need to write a book. Haha!!
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20 RespuestasI think you're giving DeeJ far too much credit, I imagine he just sits there and laughs as well. The guy is a fool, I could do his job better than him with two hands tied behind my back. Even though I've never worked for a game company in any way, I still know I could do a better job than him.
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10 Respuestas"Fixed an issue where some people were playing Destiny."
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Either the OP is DeeJ non-employee account or you are giving way more credit than is due.
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Lol at trying to paint Deej as the good guy
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3 RespuestasEditado por Kaph: 12/5/2014 10:01:34 PM[quote][b]SaintJim[/b] wrote I think you're giving DeeJ far too much credit, I imagine he just sits there and laughs as well. The guy is a fool, I could do his job better than him with two hands tied behind my back. Even though I've never worked for a game company in any way, I still know I could do a better job than him.[/quote] [b]Calling you out friend. Here you go: [url=http://www.bungie.net/en/AboutUs#page=careers&job=12065]Bunjie Job Posting; Player Advocacy Lead[/url]. Expecting you to get this job no problems whatsoever! Keep this bumped homies... and DeeJ, what's up with that? Are you leaving Bungie or getting someone to help?[/b]
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1 RespuestaThis is whats going on http://9gag.com/gag/a7KN2b2/
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1 RespuestaNah they're all like [spoiler]ayy lmao[/spoiler]
