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Editado por Jimothy Prime:
3/3/2014 4:45:27 AM
43
Someone Probably Masturbating To This Stock Photo Right Now
[quote][url=http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-someone-probably-masturbating-to-this-stock,34379/]WASHINGTON—According to a report published today by the Pew Research Center, there is most likely someone out there, at this very moment, masturbating to the stock photograph shown above. “Statistically speaking, it is highly probable that at present there is at least one hunched-over person touching him or herself while viewing this stock image,” the report read in part, citing current levels of web traffic, the frequency with which the average human being masturbates, and the variability of human nature and sexual proclivities, to draw its conclusion regarding the above photo licensed from Getty Images. “In all likelihood, the individual in question was simply browsing this site, reached this page, found its image sexually arousing, and has now commenced genital stimulation.” The report went on to state that there is nothing anybody can do about it.[/url][/quote]
This also applies to any picture you post online. How does that make you feel, Flood? Does it make you feel [i]good[/i]?
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1 RespuestaWhat about this photo?!
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Fap fap fap fap I'm sorry what were you saying?
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I expected some crazy stock market gain. I would beat off to that if it was the right stock [i]oh well[/i]
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The Onion. Well, they might be right on this one.
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I thought it said sock...
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30 RespuestasThis too is also statistically probable. Some may find it creepy, some may find it heartwarming, some may find it disturbing, some may find it encouraging... in the end, who cares what someone else does when they are alone?
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Editado por carpet brain: 3/3/2014 11:20:42 PMRead the title as "shock photo". Was disappoint it wasn't. [spoiler]Imagine that, someone right now masturbating to a shock photo/site.[/spoiler]
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I'd let him hook my... ...fish.
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1 RespuestaYeah, you cast those lines. Catch those fish you dirty little boy.
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POTATO?
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I'd like to know if anyone did it to me.
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6 RespuestasOne of the reasons why it's scary to post a pic of yourself.
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Ok, you got me.
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I touching myself to this thread
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1 RespuestaDoes this mean we can just start linking to images and claim that people are jerking to them?
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If anyone has fapped to my photos, it better not have been Foman. >.>
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[i]Aroused[/i]
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8 Respuestas>statistically speaking That means they can't prove it's true.
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The kid looks like he has a dolphin penis because of the oar.
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Is this 100% credible ? The [i]Pew[/i] centre sounds suspicious
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Editado por Grifshot: 3/3/2014 4:29:59 PMTheir rods....they're just so long!!!
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I bet you someone decided to try after reading this
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53 RespuestasEditado por Smiggles: 3/3/2014 5:12:30 AMFlattered. No really. You jerk it to my face and my art! I'm Happy I can please. Jerk it hard. Edit: I'm using "you" to refer to no one in particular. Not you Jim. You're not allowed to choke it over me
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I'm feelin' fine baby! Shine on Humanity!!!
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Sometimes I miss being Onion News. Now is one of those times.
