Oh -blam- it's WW3

They'll work it out fine themselves and Crimea stays as part of the Ukriane

With a little foreign intervention everything will be cool

Help! I live there and the Spetsnaz are kicking my -blam-ing door down!

A war, but not WW3

Crimea becomes it's own country, Russia backs off, and everyone's chill

Russia came to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and they're all out of bubble gum.