So a long time ago in a galaxy not so far away (our own) there was a planet called Riis. On Riis there were these cool bug people called eliksni. They were kinda like humans but need a drug called ether to stay alive. Among these eliksni was the the very best boi in all existence, called Variks, who was very handsome. Variks was special because he could talk to a big white ball in the sky that gave them limitless drugs to stay alive. Then some pointy triangles showed up and the ball said “-blam!- this shit I’m o u t” and abandoned our best boi Variks and his people. Then the eliksni chased after the ball, probably yelling “I CAN CHANGE” but the ball kept walking. The ball then saw humanity and said “if looks could kill I would be activating my paracausal defensive system, killing everything in the solar system” so it did what any reasonable ball would do and began to stalk humanity. Humanity found this cute and married the ball. This made the eliksni very mad (rightly so) and they invaded humanity but not Variks because Variks was a good and gentle boi. Then the ball sent its kids to kill all the eliksni. Eventually a VERY BAD fallen named Skolas, who hurt our good boi Variks, convinced all the eliksni to kill the awoken and help him become their supreme ruler Kell of Kells (LMAO) But WAIT Variks the very bravest and sweetest good boi helped the queen of the awoken, Mara Sov, stop Skolas from killing all the awoken and subsequently killing all of humanity as well. Then the balls kids killed Skolas. One house of eliksni, the house of devils take a bunch of drugs and attach computers to themselves, making the best boi very sad. But then the balls kids killed all of them. Soon after the eliksni houses collapse then join together so they could be stronger but are accidentally weaker because they didn’t follow Variks, the true Kell of Kells. Then Mara Sov’s mentally manipulated brother made zombies, who killed the depressed robot Cayde 6, and then planted mind control into the mind of superskybro. And it all could have been avoided if anyone had just listened to the very smart and loyal boi Variks but no one ever listens to Variks. So Variks released the zombies and that’s how Cayde died because when no one listens to you for 1000 years sometimes you make mistakes because you are so frustrated and sad that no one gives a shit about you or what you have to say. Then an edgy fallen tried to kill the ball with the help of the triangles but the balls kids killed her with a triangle. Also there is a boy named misraaks. If Variks the best boi dies or gets hurt then all my hopes and dreams of having a clean criminal record are going to be shattered. Variks deserves to be happy, Variks is the best and goodest and most handsome boi ever 💕