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2/4/2020 7:43:21 PM
1
“Well, how can I help you? I was in meditation when you warped me. Also, where did you get that SG? I’ve been meaning to get one, after I lost my old one in a bet...”
English
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[spoiler]The Sabre Gun?[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]Super SG from Doom[/spoiler]
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He looks down at his gun. “We confiscated it from a being masquerading as us.” You hear a thump outside the ship.
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“Wait, if you weren’t looking for me, who were you looking for?”
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They look at you, and you see a flash of fear in their eyes. “To give it back” he says. Alarms sound, something has gotten into the ship.
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“Ok I’ll make a deal. I’ll help you with your problem. In return, let me go, I get an SG, and I get to go to Chick-fil-A. Sounds fair?”
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They look past you. You turn around to see a very angry green killing machine behind you. They shove the Shotgun in your hands, which you find is to be the original.
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I then ask them, “where is the armory and do you have magnets aboard?” After that, my chain sword spawns out of the shadows and in my hand as I face the marines.
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The marines have either fled, or have been slaughtered. The ship’s only occupants are you, and him. Your chain sword whirs with ferocity. Seeing this as a challenge. The mysterious figure pulls a chainsaw out of what seems to be a portal leading somewhere, terrifying.
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I ask it, “What was it that these marines have taken from you?” While this, Cady shadow jumps to the Armory for magnet rounds and an EM-generator along with flash grenades.
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The being holds out its hand, pointing directly at the shotgun. He expects it back
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“Wait a second. Really, just this... you can pull weapons out of thin air but not this! Wait... have I meet you near the Umbral Plains, or was it one of your relatives.”
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The Slayer stays silent [spoiler]Some things never change, they are Eternal[/spoiler] and approaches you, chainsaw in hand.
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“Wowo now hold on buddy. I know the Plains look similar to Khorne's kingdom. But no reason for getting aggro on me! Hear, I’m putting the SG down, you have fun defending humanity, and I’ll go back to finding the Icon of Sin. Ok?” [spoiler]The portal behind him- BFG Division increases[/spoiler] Cady- “I’m back- GD IT ION! I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN AN ARGENT GATE WHEN IM NOT AROUND!” Doomslayer- ... Ion- “are we going to ignore the elephant in the room that is this is THE angry man? Or the fact that a cyberdeamon is coming out of that hole! But sure, have it your way! Always looking to criticize me, but you always forget the Chick-fil-A coupons when we go.” Doomslayer- (silently SMH-es)
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He grabs the gun, points it behind him, and fires, all while maintaining eye contact with you. You notice a purple glow around him as the Cyberdemon falls into chunks.
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“Still angry at me? Where have you been all these years? When did these green marines take the MEAN marines’s weapon?” Cady- “Quick! More demons inbound! Bring out the Holy Hand grenade!” Ion- I told you. I sold that to the king of the Britains. Arthur, I think his name was. A Cacodaemon steps out of the portal. ???- It is I! Mike Wazowski! I have come to claim your land in the name of Mr. Waternoose and the IoS!!! Doomslayer- looks confused at the green ball of flesh.
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He lobs a siphon grenade into the cacodemons eye, killing it. Oddly, because of this, Mike Wazowski fades away. The Slayer turns and enters the portal, ready to slaughter. It closes behind him
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Both of us- .... Cady- I’m not going to ask Ion- I want to Cady- DONT Ion- I could have going into the portal! Mike said that he serves the IoS! Cady- look ill help you, as I am your light. But not now, marines, angry marine, a meme! I need a break. Ion- I guess there is a theme to this, if you think about it. Cady- What? Ion- the color green. Cady- whatever. Want to go to Chick-fil-A? It’s in me. Ion- fine. Needed that cookies and cream shake anyway.
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Ion and Cady quickly leave the ship, in fear of meeting another one of Ion’s Vegas buddies. They board their ship, the Yatagarasu, fly to the nearest rest stop with their restaurant and vow to eat in silence in respect for a fallen meme. [spoiler]We’ll Be Right Back[/spoiler]
