This perhaps? Genesis (means "beginning") The three main characters of the Bible are introduced: God, man and Satan, 1:1, 1:26, and 3:1. The conflict between these characters will play out through the entire Bible, with many plots and sub-plots, themes and sub-themes. It gets worse and worse until it appears all is lost (like any well-written long, complex novel) and culminates in the resolution found at the end, in Revelation. The story of the Bible opens with a key event: creation, Gen. 1. Everything is described as very good--perfect, 1:31. But in 3:6 sin enters the world. Compare Rom. 3:23. Because of this, there are consequences for Satan, for man, for woman, and for the earth. Man was created perfect, put in a perfect environment, with fellowship with God, and given free will. Man chose to sin and lost fellowship with God. Now all mankind as well as the earth and its creatures will suffer the consequences of sin. Now death has entered the world. How can this dilemma be resolved? The rest of the Bible tells the story. We have the first prophecy of the promised Messiah in 3:15, where God is speaking to Satan. Satan's seed would be the wicked, John 8:44; the seed of the woman (a hint at the virgin birth) will be the Messiah--Jesus Christ. Satan would give Him a heel wound--not fatal; Christ will give him a head wound--a fatal blow. So here is foretold the spiritual warfare between God and Satan. Satan later "wounds" Christ at the crucifixion, thinking he has defeated Him. But through the resurrection, God brings about Satan's defeat. The next main character in Genesis is Noah, 6:8. His story involves the worldwide flood, Gen. 6-9. Not long after that, the next key event is the confusing of language at Babel, 11:1-9. These first 11 chapters give us important information about why the world is the way it is. The next main character is Abraham. God makes him three important promises in 12:1-3: a people (the Israelites), a land (Canaan/Palestine, today known as Israel), and a worldwide blessing through him. 12:3 is another prophecy of Christ: through faith in Him, the whole world can receive the blessing--salvation. The Bible will follow the bloodline that leads to Christ. This Abrahamic Covenant, an unconditional covenant, sets the stage for not only the rest of the Old Testament story, but also future prophetic events. A basic doctrinal fact is first presented in 15:6--righteousness comes by faith in God. Gen. 22 is a picture or type of Christ, the promised Messiah. Compare 22:7-8 and 22:13; God did not provide a lamb that day--not until Jesus Christ, the perfect, sinless Lamb of God, John 1:29, who came to shed His blood as God's required payment for sin. Abraham's son was Isaac, 22:1-3. His grandsons were Jacob and Esau, 25:25-26, but Jacob's line will lead to Christ. In 32:28, God changes Jacob's name to Israel. Next in his line are twelve sons, Gen. 49:28. 49:10 indicates which of those would be the line leading to Christ--Judah. (Shiloh is a term for the Messiah.) Exodus (means "going out") The sons of Israel multiplied (as promised in Gen. 12:2) in Egypt and were made slaves, 1:14. The main character in this book is Moses, 2:10. 12:1-23 pictures Christ in the story of the first Passover: for each one who puts the shed blood of the lamb on their doorpost, 13 and 23, death passes over them. For us, believing in Christ's death for our sin and His resurrection, proving He is God, gives eternal life. Moses will lead the enslaved Israelites out of Egypt, 6:1-8. In 20-31, God gives Moses the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Law. Leviticus (the Levites are the priestly tribe) The theme of this book, which describes the many sacrifices required by the Law, is the holiness of God, 10:10 and 20:26. Numbers The 12 tribes are numbered; remember, we will be following the line that leads to Christ--the tribe of Judah. We have more about the Mosaic Law and the 40 years' wandering in the wilderness because of their unbelief, ending up at the Jordan River across from the promised land, Canaan (Gen. 12:1). The generation that received God's Law at Mt. Sinai all died in the wilderness, 26:63-65. Deuteronomy (means "second law") Moses teaches the Law to the younger generation before they enter the land. God makes another important covenant in 28-30, the Palestinian Covenant, in which God lays out the conditions under which they will be able to live in their land. Moses dies at the end, 34:4-5, and Joshua takes his place, 34:9. This is the last of the five books written by Moses. Joshua The first of the books of history. Joshua leads the 12 tribes in the conquest of the land of Canaan (Palestine, Israel) that God promised them. Judges Following the death of Joshua, God raises up a series of judges over the next generations, who did not know God as their fathers had. This book shows a cycle of sin and defeat to their enemies, crying out to God, who raises up a judge, returning to God under that judge, victory, then falling away again, only to repeat the cycle. Ruth The story of the marriage of Ruth and Boaz fits into Gen. 12:3--the line leading to Christ--because their son will be the grandfather of King David, 4:17-22. I Samuel Samuel was a judge, a priest, and a prophet. Now we enter the era in which God spoke to His people through prophets. The people are not satisfied with a theocracy, with God as their King; they now want a king, 8:5-7. The first king is Saul, 9:1-2. He disobeys God and loses the kingship, 15:22-23. David will be the next king, 16:11-13. This book follows the conflict between Saul and David until Saul's death. II Samuel This book is the biography of David and his reign. In 7:1-16, we find another great covenant, the Davidic Covenant. The word "forever" at the end of 7:13 and 7:16 show that God's promise is speaking of more than just the kingdom of David's son--He is promising that the Messiah will come in David's line, and that His kingdom will last forever.

When you put it like that you make me want to read it 😂

Another day, another clown is in town.

Guess the story: random asshole bursts into offtopic and acts like he owns the place.

Unsympathetic’s adventures as a choirboy.

What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little -blam!-? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.

So did you just come from r/I’m14andthisisedgy

[quote]A sky wizard becomes a zombie carpenter, in order to save us from a magic apple curse.[/quote] The Bible? I mean, the sky wizard is God who makes people out of the dust and they try not to eat the apple given by Satan? Idfk

Why do you hate God?

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) (Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry

I’ve dealt to people like you. I purposely gave them terrible cards. I laughed at their faces. You must be purged. Correction: You will be purged!

The Bible

The Bible

[quote]A sky wizard becomes a zombie carpenter, in order to save us from a magic apple curse.[/quote] Zombie carpenters wouldn't do anything and neither would a magic apple curse

Minecraft?