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10/6/2018 12:40:52 PM
48
WANTED: Bounty for Xür
**** 50,000 Masterwork Cores reward for the capture of this back-alley scumbag flim-flam artist who cons people out of their hard earned glimmer and shards with the promise of exotic merchandise but all they get in return is his obsolete inter-galactic garbage.
Xür is Wanted Dead or Alive (preferably dead, but severely beaten is acceptable, too)
English
#destiny2
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You know that Xür has to hunt for exotics too, right? Every weekend he comes to show us his proud accomplishments of having multiple exotics that dropped for him. Even more, he wants to sell it to us so we can have fun and appreciate him. But no. Y'all d-bags just get angry at him. He cant get Forsaken exotics to drop, just like us. Screw y'all.
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3 RespuestasYou are obviously a con artist yourself because there isnt even close to 50,000 masterwork cores in the entire universe, much less in your inventory!!!
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9 RespuestasEditado por minigun800: 10/7/2018 5:48:09 PMGive the poor guy a break. He spends the whole week trying to get us exotics, and has been at it without fail for years. He’s just having a hard time finding forsaken exotics to sell.
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The disciples of edge transit do not agree with your suggestion, xur is spoken of in our ancient texts, he is on a path but not the wrong path. He is a wispher in a storm.... [spoiler]all hail edge transit [/spoiler] [spoiler]make xur great again[/spoiler]
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1 Respuesta[quote]He spends the whole week trying to get us exotics[/quote] He probably has to deal with the same shitty RNG, and he hasn't had any Forsaken exotics drop for him either, so he can't sell them. Don't hate on him, he's in the same shitty boat as us.
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Day 12: I have searched far and wide for the one they called XUR, he left me with no shards, glimmer and for some reason robbed me of both my dignity and a couple of Masterwork Cores before nutpunching me and disappearing like a badly rendered mortal kombat character in a puff of black smoke. he is on a ledge somewhere, mindfapping himself as he tries to convince someone that buying is fated engram is worth it. its been a bad run for me, walking around naked with nothing but an Aeon Swift I have to beat enemies to death with, that is if they don't die from laughter as my average sized d*ck looks tiny into comparison as they shadow in the watermelon size testicles he gave me from nutpunching. Wait. I hear the tentacles somewhere in a Cave. its like a Cheeky Prawn eating catfood. I can sense him, I can tell by the pain in my sack that I am close. XUR: "aaaah, welcome welcome, weary traveler, you look thirsty for loot no no no?" ME: "...Y...M...You Mother*fcker, you don't remember me do you?" XUR: "No No No, the nine nor me recalls your presence, can I interest you in some merchandise" ME: "Listen you creepy F*CK close your jacket, we need to talk" XUR: "No No No, we need to talk to you, you need to listen no?, we have some merchandise" ME: "I am NOT here to BUY jack SHIT! I am here, to beat you with this bag or Oranges" XUR:" No No No, that will cost you, Shards yes?" ME:" What? to Beat you will cost me shards? IN WHAT FKING UNIVERSE DOES THAT WORK" XUR:" Yes Yes Yes 92 Shards and 25,000 Glimmer you can get a Beating with Oranges" ME: ", I have 62 Shards and 20,000 Glimmer, I have been running on this FKING Planet headbutting everything to death because I have no weapons, now I look like a Potato was left in the Microwave for too long but it will be F*CKING WELL WORTH IT! YOU SCREWED ME OVER" XUR: "No No No, you need a Masterwork core, but if you don't have we can trade no no no?" ME: " listen, please, I am tired. what do you want? I just want to beat you with oranges" XUR:" No No No, that is a deal, all your loot for a beating with Oranges, but can I interest you in this Fated Engram?" ME: " HA! fool me once, shame on something I forgot the phrase my head hurts, ! not again buddy" XUR: " Pitty No No No, I would have traded for the beating and loot no no no? it says - "limited edition made in Korea" ME:" WHAT? you lie, you creepy F*CK, you mean it could be an Exotic? like an Actual Y2 Exotic?" XUR" Yes Yes Yes, this one says "to You from Kim - Love Korea" ME: "ok , so - my shards, my glimmer, and this 1 masterwork core that is it?" XUR: "Yes Yes yes, and you get the beating with the Oranges" ME: "DEAL!" ME: "Wait... WHAT THE F*CK this is an EMOTE!" XUR: "yes yes yes, Exotic Emote still exotic, keep playing with chicken here...." *Beats you half to death with your own bag of oranges* ME: " *COUGH*.... mother....F*CK....that... you ... d*ckhole....." Guardian Down
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Who do I need to go after to get Mod components?
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Well... I mean, Xur DOES say he is a mere trash collector compared to the Nine. No, really, he actually does say that.
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Xur? What’s Xur?
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33 Respuestasyeah good luck with that. you will try and kill him and he will be like "no no no, here... the nine wants you to have this gifts.... you never know what is inside" as you are about to pull the trigger you think to yourself.... man. the exotic famine is real, let me maybe... i don't know let him live and see what he has. "ok F*cker, give me the engram, and i will let you live" "no no no, here.... the engram is in exchange for shards...." "NO OctoC*nt, its in exchange for your life..." "no no no, Glimmer and Shards..." "wait? what? a few seconds ago it was shards?" "no no no, the price goes up as the value goes up, i can feel it, coming in the air ... tonight says the nine" "hey isn't that Phill Collins?" "no no no, the Nine wants you to have this. take it.... but first give me the masterwork core and shards and glimmer?" "hey, FK you buddy your worse than the spider, i should just kill you!" "no no no, what if its the Fated Engram you need? now give me your Glimmer, Shards and Mw Cores" "F*CK how do you know what exotic i need? that fated engram bullshit wizardry!, How much?" " you can have it for 96 Shards" "what... i only have 63 Shards" "no no no, not enough, not enough, need 96 or no loot" "ok wait... sigh let me dismantle my gun and this armor, i don't like armor anyway" "yes yes yes, now take it" " WHAT THE F*CK ITS AN AEON SWIFT YOU DICKHOLE" "ha ha ha, i thank you" "IM GOING TO KILL YOU" "with what gun? you dismantled it for shards?" *NUT PUNCHES YOU* Xur disappears in a cloud of black smoke while your lying there naked clutching a pair of Aeon Swifts.
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2 RespuestasEditado por BIGBOOMTIME: 10/8/2018 1:59:31 AMIt would be cool to have a DLC that incorporates xur being held by the 9 and sentenced to death and we have to save him.
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Put Forsaken exotics in the Xur lootpool
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1 RespuestaTry your luck at bungie hq
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How much more for his defilement? Variks would like to know.
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Cash it in and decrypt an Edge Transit.
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Don't hate the player, hate the game. Remember: his will is not his own. It's The Nine you're really looking for I think.
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Chaos Reach coming up
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I wouldn’t mind a cut specific mission for something really cool. Something whisper like that you have to work at.
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Bounty accepted😂😂😂
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1 RespuestaWarlock: WTF man this isn't what I wanted! Xur: Wait! I can expla-*gets nova bombed*
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1 RespuestaBut... He outright told us that he was a mere trash collector for the Nine. We knew it was garbage. Remember when he sold that crappy rocket launcher that people melted?
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1 RespuestaAt least I’m glad that I can continue to save up on my strange coins.
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Dear The Nine, I'm not associated with this dude whatsoever. Please no hit squad.
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Now when you are in closing in on the finial encounter during a Petra’s run and XUR comes outta no were to kick you in the nuts you have no one to blame but yourself. As you are staring at the wipe screen being ready to go to orbit I fully expect XUR to remind you his will is not his own
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3 RespuestasWANTED: Bounty for Guardians who do not seem to understand how Xur actually works, yet spend their Shards anyway.
