Where do the vex wash their dishes? [spoiler]in the ishtar sink ;)[/spoiler]

Why don't Warlocks have any exotic boots? Because they're used to being carried. Loved that one when it still was a thing. #roasted

A CELL!!! FROM THE PRISON OF ELDERS!!! THE ARCHON PRIEST IS STILL INSIDE!!!! [spoiler]oh y1[/spoiler]

Best Destiny joke? The Sunbreaker mission. The Sunbreakers are essentially a self-sufficient rogue faction of Titans. They refuse to have anything to do with the City. They hate the Vanguard. They hate Zavala. So you come trundling up to them: a protector of the Last City, a minion of the Vanguard, and a protégée of Zavala. Do they: A. Pummel you with incandescent orange hammers until all that is left of you is cinders and charred bits of what was once a Ghost. B. Tell you to get the @#&*%#@!* off Mercury and never come back, or you'll be subjected to option A. Oh, and by the way, tell Zavala he's an imperious oaf and his head looks like a robin's egg. C. At the very least, put you through a long and arduous trial, something combining the worst aspects of the Exotic Sword, Touch of Malice, and Outbreak Prime quests, before letting you use the Forge. D. Welcome you and willingly offer you Sunbreaker power. Right. Doesn't make sense to me, either.

"He still has trouble sitting" - Cayde-6 about Lord Shaxx reminiscing about Ikora in her Crucible days.

Why is "Hunters" an option, but not warlocks? Or titans? Bias, much?

Ikora and a Zevala walk into a bar [spoiler] cayde ducks[/spoiler] [spoiler]yeah that just happened [/spoiler]

When I die I want my Iron Banner team to bury me... [spoiler]So that they can let me down one last time. [/spoiler]

You pogoth a few.....

Someone please post the whole peregrine greaves for me

I got my comment ninja'd for implying you were the opposite of heterosexual.

I may like all these jokes, but I much prefer the higher-class jokes, such as... [spoiler]GAME DESTINY JA DOES YEARS I DO NOT HAVE ANY HEAVY WEAPON OF THE YEAR 1 JA MAKES THE END OF CROTA AND CRYSTAL CAMERA VARIOUS AND SEVERAL TIMES AND NEVER CAME A HEAVY WEAPON, WANTED A LOT TO GJALLARHORN, MORE TO PRA DESISTI BECAUSE SHE NEVER COMES, PRISON OF THE ANCIENTS YEAR 1 I JUST DID SEVERAL TIMES ALSO AND NOW NOTHING THAT GAME TA SACANAGEM WITH MY FRIENDS JA HAVE THE HEAVY WEAPONS OF THE YEAR 1 AND I HAVE NO STILL THAT SACK BUNGIE IMPROVES TO MY REWARDS ....[/spoiler]

[spoiler]What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK S IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-A LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL FING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR AHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THESTRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO FS ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL FING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS S AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU THAT GU---wait, s...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F* OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES! [/spoiler]

Destiny in its entirety is f[u]u[/u]cking hilarious .-.

Ghost: Was that a compliment? Eris Morn: *sigh*

Did you hear the one about the Gjallarhorn? [spoiler]... never mind, you won't get it.[/spoiler] One of my favorites.

A 17 year old Archon Priest walks into a bar, and the bartender says: "Sorry. We don't serve minors. Aksis denied."