The traveler is evil because I'm clever and I read and I know about the original story line. The Exo Stranger is actually Efrideet with a new outfit and voice because they both have nice boobers that I have naughty dreams about. The Iron Lords and the Nine are the same people because there's nine members in both groups and also I like Jupiter. The loot cave is actually where the cryptarch stores all the legendaries that he steals from guardians, and he's the one who patched the game to prevent us from taking back what was rightfully ours. The Vex are the creation of Rasputin and SIVA combined because they all have red eyes and omg I just love matching colours. The Hive are just alien space moths. Shh. No, shush. I saw outdated concept art of it so I know I'm right. Look, I'm right, you're wrong. Shh. Shhhhhh. The colony ships in the Cosmodrome are actually massive fcukoff nukes made by the Russians because they said "fcuk you comrades" to 'murica and then one day a cleaner accidentally tripped and fell onto the launch button which caused the collapse. Osiris secretly fell in love with a Female Vex which was considered heretical by the Speaker and he was thus exiled from the tower. After that they both moved back to her home on Mercury which is actually the Lighthouse. We steal gear from his girlfriend's wardrobe. The final room in the King's Fall raid is actually Oryx's bedroom and he tries to kill you because he got annoyed that all you little cretins kept jumping up onto his four bedside tables. Jolder actually created SIVA and sealed the chamber because she didn't want Saladin to know. Because she's nice like that. The Fallen want the traveler because they all have a big-round-thing fetish and that's as simple as it gets, really. The darkness is actually a massive fleet of Anime addicts who love black tentacle porn and we try to keep them out but Dead Orbit are all stupid weaboos and want to make a fleet to go join them. Uldren Sov is one of the Nine because he and Xur were caught with a saucy sex tape of each other doing tentacle-face pron and that totally makes sense. Mara Sov is Crota's mother because I'm writing a fanfic about it and it's actually kind of good so I want to be right. Eris is actually a Hive thrall because she has three eyes and also she's Crota's missing daughter which is why she didn't get killed. At some point our guardians will actually go back in time and die multiple times to get the bits needed for Ghallarhorn. Felwinter is actually a Titan because he knows how to knee someone in the face and warlocks can't do that. The Cabal are actually genetically modified Earth rhinos because Greenpeace had enough of your industrial bullshit and set them free into space and also gave them the psions as companions who are modified tapirs. Atheon is actually our ghost from the future who got way into drugs and dank weed and grew arms and legs because of it and he wanted to show it all off to the world so we went into the VoG to stop him bragging about it. Efrideet is missing an eye because there's an artifact claiming to be it and because I like Ana in Overwatch and want Efrideet to be like her. But seriously someone please give her a shader for her birthday already God dammit. The hellmouth is actually a massive Hive worm embedded into the Moon because it's spiky, smelly, and has 'mouth' in its name. All guardians are actually dead zombies which is why we're so bland and quiet all the time and don't go to the toilet. Amanda Holliday is actually a male because how dare you just assume her gender! Just because she has boobs?! Pssssh! Hey guys update on my theory Efrideet is actually Saint-14 because they both have helmets that look Linda similar but not really. Shut up I know I'm right. Cayde-6 went back in time to convince to Dredgen Yor to make Thorn because he actually hates crucible and wants it to crash and burn in hell. The Reef is actually the remains of the dreadnought which blows up in the future and goes back in time and turns into rocks. Dinklebot is the traveler and was actually possessed and defeated by Nolanbot who is the darkness during the collapse. Deej's banhammer is actually an exotic heavy weapon that's currently time-gated that will release when the hard raid does. Go to Randal the Vandal to get it. The Speaker is actually the darkness and Saint-14 is inside the traveler because fcuk you that's why and the Black Garden is also there too. TL;DR, #lore, get your shit straight please. [spoiler]luckily this isn't 100% of #lore. Probably about 80% or 90% mebbe?[/spoiler] Now, if any of you bashterds want some REAL lore, I got that too: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/206388637/0/0