This is supposed to be lighthearted and funny, and should be read in an English accent. (Or as Sir Hammerlock from BL2, or as John Cleese, even if it's just inside your own head!) Hello and salutations my fellow guardians! In an unbiased attempt to keep things fair and balanced among the newbs and veterans, here are some easy points to follow on your adventures in "teabagging". Keep in mind that some things might be generalized to JUST Destiny, however, can still be applied to many other scenarios. Enjoy! 1. [b]Teabagging will ALWAYS be rude.[/b] Winning or losing, teabagging is just begging to get you teabagged or much worse ganged up on, in return. If you don't want to be teabagged, then don't teabag to begin with. (Notable: Be prepared for positive OR negative returns on points after first initially activating a teabag. It's demoralizing to the opponent and can thus cause "enrage" resulting in a step up in their game. It can work conversely however and add points to your team if you do happen to crush their pitiful spirit) 2. [b]If you get teabagged it is YOUR responsibility (if you so choose) to get that person back as quickly as possible.[/b] Not your teammates. You can't have someone else do the teabag for you. Stand up for yourself. Or go sit on the bench. Bylaw 2A: A fire team member can avenge you appropriately only if he or she is a friend from real life and does so in a short duration of time following original death of friend. If you have never met this "real life" friend, a prerequisite for this bylaw would be if you have that person's phone number, email, or Facebook/Twitter information. (Or if they are your Butler) 3. [b]It is appropriate to teabag ONLY after OWNING your opponent.[/b] This does not include super kills performed in a mediocre manner. For instance running into a room and simply inducing super is not a display of skill. Everyone builds up super. Use it in a super way. Bylaw 3A. Camping shall never be considered in this category, especially in the corner, especially with a shotgun. HOWEVER, zone control IS, and hinged exclusive to moving around in a general vicinity, it shall be recognized with ANY type of weapon. 4. [b]Likewise to point #2 if you get taken down in any manner (owned or otherwise) and then are victim of a teabag, not only is a vendetta required but the kill must be a decisive one.[/b] Example A: If you get in a mid-range firefight with a hand cannon and you come out on top with your nemesis with only a fraction of health, this is not grounds for teabagging. In this case he/she needs to be owned. (Subcategory #1) If you are killed during the action of teabagging, this is grounds for you to be teabagged in return, despite ANY mentioned stipulations. You were distracted. And taken down for not paying close attention. It doesn't matter HOW you were killed, it is open for reaction. All aforementioned subcategory is able to be reciprocated if YOU kill the occurring teabagger. 5. [b]A proper teabag is and should always be performed with three rapid squats and then immediate departure.[/b] Squatting for an extensive length of time not only shows that you are putting too much emphasis on the teabag and not the kill, but also shows that you aren't putting your team first. They need you, get back to business. 6. [b]A teabag in PvE is ALWAYS appreciated on the enemy and NEVER appreciated on the fire team.[/b] Exceptions: A. If your fire team consists of good friends. B. If someone was acting like a big shot or talking crap about someone else and then immediately failed. C. If the interactions in turn become strenuous and the end is near, whilst the "stakes are high", and someone epic fails on your fire team. It is acceptable to bag. 7. [b]The parameters of "ownage" shall be left in the hands of the performer. [/b] However should not include near death, larger than half damage assist from one or more teammates, or a kill by a run-of-the-mill super. If this occurs the teabag should be withheld until proper ownage is dictated upon the enemy. Killing players who are in the midst of there super is and always shall qualify as "ownage". If a fight between 2 exclusive players lasts a long duration of time AND includes "parkour" style avoidance/pursuance without the concrete "fleeing" of either side, a teabag is allowed even if the winner is low on health. It was epic. You both know it. THE FOLLOWING LAW IS ON THE PANEL FOR REMOVAL!!! VOTE TO GET IT CHANGED/EDITED/REMOVED!!! The typical side effects of meta balancing through years one and two looking forward to year three (2.5.1), has lead Rule #8 to thenceforth be changed dramatically. Where as it used to be about "sticky nades" it shall, until further notice, read on the topic of Sidearms and Fusion rifles. Please feel free to comment below. Otherwise rule #8 now succeeds as follows: 8. [b]A player who decides to "swim against the current meta" shall be smiled upon with leniency for deserving a teabag.[/b] It is frustrating and non beneficia to sweat with more challenging weapons and should be recognized as such. Kills or more specifically "multi-kills" with these weapons open swiftly the righteous and salty doors for teabagging one's opponents. You're the reason diversity exists. Enjoy the bags that come with it. 9. [b]Teabagging for an extensive period of time is frowned upon. [/b] However if you keep destroying the same guy over and over again the teabag may be performed properly (see rule #5) after EACH NEW KILL. This may continue until that same person OWNES you. Your nemesis must OWN you to make the reciprocal of the teabag acceptable. 10. [b]A "gang bang" teabag or a "drive by" teabag performed on any enemy is acceptable, even if you didn't kill that enemy personally, as long as your team is WINNING.[/b] If you're team is losing the tea bags are null and void. The stipulation to this common grievance is if you are the top scorer of the match but your team is still losing. The Rules are loosened therein for said top scorer, with more understanding for rules not 100% abided by. ADDENDUM I. General Article covering entirety: It is perfectly reasonable to swap a "teabag" for a "dance". They are equal and transferable. Waving shall now be recognized, as well as sitting, and now we have who whole set of emotes which should be considered as appropriate as a teabag. ADDENDUM II. "The Sultan of Swat", "The Colosses of Clout", "The Great Bambino", "The Babe Ruth". This is by far the ownage of all ownage and therefore grants rights of unlimited teabaggage, in ANY FORM. You must first point at your enemy and THEN own them. Similar to how Babe Ruth called his towering home run shot. You are more than a man, you are a LEGEND. Go forth and bag thine enemies, long and hard. (All credit to GT "chawskycrawliey") ADDENDUM III. It shall now be recognized that if a blink/shotgunner of both a warlock or a Hunter class happens to "fall" off the map whilst trying to destroy his/her enemy because they incorrectly judged the distance of their blink, YOU MAY TEABAG THEM AS THEY FALL. If you see it happen make sure they see you, seeing it happen. BYLAW 1: Twilight Garrison Titans are now recognized in this category. As are shoulder charges that fail and fall off a map. ADDENDUM IV. Any player may perform properly described "teabag" if he or she receives the "Nail In The Coffin" award at the end of the match. Since this award is always given it signifies permanent victory, and falls under the catagory of "ownage", therefore is always acceptable. ADDENDUM V. The "infinibagging" rights of the blessed. If your skills are of the utmost, and your time in the sun has arrived, wherein you find yourself a "Phantom" or "We Ran Out Of Medals", or the most cherished "Seventh Column" medals you are the John Cena of the match. The Dr. Dre of beatdowns. The Christopher Walken of 90's dance music videos. YOU have thus earned yourself rights (yea, only for the rest of said current match) to the "infinibag". Just squat wherever you please. However you may please. (all credit to GT moonshinetemp098) -----These are a fun way to keep things professional while still sitting on people's faces. I hope that I have spelled everything out in a descriptive manner and please comment for necessary edits. EURA OUT. Edit 1: Big shout outs to whomever remembers this post from the first few months of the game! You da real MVP!