I don't know what to do. Last week things really got bad. I mean [i]really[/i] bad. Been married 2 years, but I don't know if we're gonna bonce back from this. Here's what happened: Its a Saturday morning, her one day off, and I got called in the night before. Well, I get up at 5:30 before the sun is up, with her being all bitchy about the alarm. Its not like she had to go in! Anyways, I get into the shower. Our master bath connects to the room, and as soon as I start singing a little to get my spirits up, she yells at me to keep it down! Now I am just in a bad mood. I shower, dry off. Its been muggy and hot out the past few days, so I decided to get the family jewels, well, you know, a little bit dryer? The next moment she looks up in bed and asks "what the hell are you doing?" A split second before she said that I felt one of those inevitable morning farts about to break the sound barrier. It happened: but mid fart, in that moment when you know there is no going back, no cutting it off, it suddenly became more than a fart. [b]So much -blam!-ing more.[/b] And in that moment, there I am, standing above our box fan trying to dry my balls!!! I don't know why, but buried somewhere deep within my primate instincts I reflexively jumped aside as the Hiroshima of solid liquid farts hit the fan I was standing over! I don't know what the neighbors heard. And I don't know how much God saw. But I can tell you all that I am pretty certain she is never coming back. [b]I blew it[/b]. In so many ways worse then I care to admit... My lesson? -blam!- Taco Bell!