If you want to stay with her and you are planning on getting married to her, you shouldn't join. There are so many bad situations that I have personally seen friends go through because their wives could not handle the stress of being a military spouse. This would also add a ton more stress on you in an already stressful situation if you are deployed knowing you don't have support back home. You need to be focused so you or your buddy doesn't end up dead because your mind is somewhere else. If you are dead set on joining the military you should not stay with her.