If you aren't sure of either of those things, you don't want it bad enough. So leave her, and don't join the marines. Then come back to career choices and relationships when you have the balls.
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The thing is, I WANT to join the Marines. But I also WANT to stay with her. Both are really my life decisions. And there's no middle ground that I've found...
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I don't want to know your age or anything, but I can guess you're likely high school age or just after if you're talking about joining up (it's a standard American thing, we all think about it). So these things are true; If you join, it probably won't work it with you two. If you stay, it probably won't work out with you two. The reason I say this is because of her response, that she won't allow you to join. Which is a selfish response, but it is ENTIRELY her right to be that way. Both of you should be selfish and work hard towards your own successes in life while you are young and have the motivation. With that said (and this is the short, sweet, my-thumbs-are-tired synopsis), maybe you should join up, go your seperate ways, do your 4-8 years (getting laid a lot in the process), and if you two fall madly back in love when you're done then they all lived happily ever after. -$.02