My birth father left when I was 2 & I had a string of worthless father figures who wanted nothing to do with me, literally telling me that I was a little homosexual, I was worthless, I should have never been born, I was a monster, I was an idiot, I would help my mother by wandering off into the woods & dying. All I wanted though, was that tv dad, until I wanted no dad at all. Then, my mom met my current step-father. He showed me what a father is. He has never said, "I love you" to me, but he has shown it by being there for me since I was 18. I still cannot call him Dad though. I call him Pop, because every other male who I had to call dad, was worthless, except for the fact that they showed me what [i]not[/i] to do as a father. I wanted kids at first, thought I would show them all by being the best father ever. I realized later that was a childish sentiment & decided that I did not want kids. What if I could not be a good father? What if they had a messed up head like my ex-dads all said I had? I resolved not to have kids. Then I met my wife. I fell in love with her, with who she pretended to be. She said she wanted 4 kids, I told her I wanted zero kids. She said if I wanted her, I had to give her 2 kids, 1 boy & 1 girl, with the option for more. I told her that the only way we would have more, is if I started smoking the herb, because 2 already was a lot for me to handle. Could I handle a 3rd? I don't know, but I don't think so & I have always been good at knowing my limits. I tell my kids that I love them everyday. When they come home & ignore me, I pretend to get all mad & huffy, asking them if they forgot something. They start smiling & pretend to find things they might have "forgot" to do. I pretend to get even more angry, then I fake cry as I run up the stairs to my room, where they will chase me & dog pile on me and we start wrestling & giving hugs. I may not be the best father, but I try to be the best father I can be. So when I look at these guys who father children & leave, then act all proud that they have 6 kids by 6 different women, I see a double fool. First, you are a fool to father a child you have no intention of being there for & second, you are a fool for all the joy you are missing out on. That said, you have to know yourself. There is no way I could have handled a kid in my late teens, early 20's. I was 30 when my wife got pregnant. My temper was under control & I was calmer. I had the wildness out of my system. My buddy though, he & his wife have 6 or more kids. They had their first right out of high school. He is such a good dad, it makes me happy for his kids & take notes as to what I can improve on. A father can make all the difference in the world, but if we are out there lifting on high these men who just dump their seed & run, we are just going to keep getting the same result. You don't even have to be married, just be there. No child cares, they just want you to care about them, to spend time with them & to love them.

Because like Geralt, I see having a child as a headache. I have no interest in having a kid, nor do I have the money for it. I love my nephews to bits, but shit if I want to look after them for more than a day. It seems like you think the same. To answer the question in short, kids without father figures from a young age don't tend to do very well.

[quote]I don't know if this parallel was at all an intended part of the story, but it's a connection I kind of see. Today, it sometimes feels like a real father figure is a rare thing in society, and all to often there is an unspoken negative attitude toward children.[/quote] Lol no shit Sherlock. Our society has been worshiping the idea of freedom so much that it has neglected the concept of responsibility that goes with it. We even had a movement called the “sexual revolution” only sixty years ago all about the concept of idolizing pleasure and abandoning the responsibilities that go with it to preserve order (you know, the practice of maintaining [u]healthy[/u] monogamous relationships, accepting that children are a natural byproduct and blessing that comes with sex). [quote]That parenting is an imposition on ones personal freedom and choice. Not only in spirit, there actually are many men that turn their backs on their responsibility altogether.[/quote] And you’ve proven exactly my point. Notice what you said: “That parenting is an [u]imposition on ones personal freedom and choice.[/u]” What a -blam!-ed up concept that has infected our culture. Parenting has gone hand in hand with sex since before the dawn of man... literally part of biology for thousands or millions of years or whatever you believe. Now all of a sudden our culture decides to b[i]i[/i]tch and moan about something that is literally a foundational part of life. Freedom becomes slavery when you don’t have responsibility to keep it in check. Here’s an example: you graduate high school and you have the whole world ahead of you, so many options to choose from and you’re terrified. You don’t know what career path to choose from. So you dabble here and there spending/wasting time trying to figure it out. Meanwhile you look at others who seem to already have it figured out and it blows your mind. The reason that they have it figured out is that they have the pressure of responsibility to give them perspective. Maybe that pressure comes from a passion, a desire, an expectation... maybe they have a family member or two that they have to care for, so that pressure of responsibility gives them the power to endure and suck it up and commit to a path. Or in simple terms, you have an entire wardrobe of clothes at your disposal and as a result, you take longer to decide what to wear (because the freedom is overwhelming), as opposed to you have only a few clothes to choose from and you only take a few seconds to decide and commit to an outfit. Parenting isn’t an imposition on your freedom and choice. Parenting puts that freedom and choice into perspective. Parenting gives purpose to that freedom. You stagnate when you don’t move. You stagnate when you don’t move forward. If you have so much freedom that it overwhelms you from progressing your maturity then consequently that’s called being immature. To decide means to cut away. To cut away the excess of what isn’t needed. [quote]What if all or most social problems trace back to a rejection of duty and fate (or "destiny" as it is called in the series)? Geralt's very response to the law of surprise is one I often imagined myself having to a significant other telling me they were pregnant. Quite litterally, "Fuk". [/quote] Another case in point. All Geralt is is a glorified murder-hobo. Yeah that’s a D&D joke but at the same time that’s the truth. Kill monsters, make money. He doesn’t invest in anyone’s life. He doesn’t even invest in his own. Kill. Sex. Money. Cartel members do that. Tribal and factional gangs in Africa do that: abduct kids and teach them to kill, rape, make money, do drugs. Sure Geralt makes his famous speech about evil, but that’s easy. It’s easy to point and label things as evil. Our whole country does it to the point that it’s politically divided. The difficult thing to do is to is to define that which is good and die on a hill for it. Let something [u]give you perspective and purpose[/u] that grows you and makes you a better person for it. [quote]Luckily, that never happened to me. But isn't there something wrong with that attitude in general? Why do we see children as a thing to be largely avoided and feared?[/quote] Because you aren’t willing to sacrifice your freedom. But let’s look at what sacrifice is... Sacrifice means to give up something important in order to gain something even more important. So sacrifice isn’t such a bad concept after all. If you value your freedom to go out and party more than your own child, that’s your choice, but at the same time is says a lot about the poor quality of the person you are. But if you value your child more than that exercise of freedom, you’re giving value to that child, that [u]person[/u]. You’re saying to them “you are of utmost importance.” And that is admirable why? Because human life is priceless. It’s precious. In a culture that worships freedom above all else, the concepts of responsibility and sacrifice are vulgar and taboo. [quote]The ideal of "father" is not something we are trained to carry into our future as we mature into adult hood. Rather, we enter into adult life with vague ambitions of financial success through aspecialized career. [/quote] Notice the difference in value: fatherhood is the investment of oneself into other people, children. Whether it’s your children or people that you’re mentoring. Love. Careers are disposable, and most markets and companies in turn see its personnel exactly that: disposable. Elon Musk is idolized as a successful genius, a Tony Stark. But such titles and nobilities come and go. All they are are footnotes in a textbook. But Musk has kids... what kind of a dad is he to them? Musk invests in his public ambitions, but is he investing in his kids? You look at Tony Stark and his genius and inventions are but hobbies to him. Sure he’s iron man and saves the world, but that’s not what’s important to him. What’s important to him was mending and investigating his father’s motives of him as his son; his daughter. [quote]The Witcher ignored his destiny because it was inconsistent with his personal desires, and it litterally left the world around him in chaos. What if the woes of our time are the fault of men who have shirked their destiny as fathers, guardians, and guides?[/quote] They definitely are. But the chaos isn’t a result of fatherhood or parenthood. The chaos happens because he and others aren’t willing to rise to the occasion and [u]take responsibility[/u].

I don't have any kids of my own, but I am acting as a father figure for my nephew. So I don't get the fear or avoiding fatherhood. I just haven't found a sane woman yet.

[quote]The ideal of "father" is not something we are trained to carry into our future as we mature into adult hood. Rather, we enter into adult life with vague ambitions of financial success through aspecialized career.[/quote] You can check the [url=https://www.epi.org/child-care-costs-in-the-united-states/]costs and statistics on childcare in your state here[/url] (rip if you live in DC). Meanwhile, [url=https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/08/millennials-are-screwed-recession/596728/]this is the economic situation of Millennials[/url]. Costs are continuing to rise every single year; the US has no universal policy for paid family leave or childcare; and [url=https://www.kff.org/health-costs/press-release/benchmark-employer-survey-finds-average-family-premiums-now-top-20000/]average costs for family health insurance[/url] are not only rising, but rising faster than wages, and currently sitting at $6,000 for premiums alone under an employer plan. I am fortunate enough to be in a situation where I can plan for a family in the next few years. I look forward to being a father. I would not shame or insult other men as "shirking their destiny" for not having the privilege of doing the same*. (edit) *I thought the OP meant "shirking" having kids at all, vs. shirking your responsibility once you have one-- my bad