My birth father left when I was 2 & I had a string of worthless father figures who wanted nothing to do with me, literally telling me that I was a little homosexual, I was worthless, I should have never been born, I was a monster, I was an idiot, I would help my mother by wandering off into the woods & dying. All I wanted though, was that tv dad, until I wanted no dad at all. Then, my mom met my current step-father. He showed me what a father is. He has never said, "I love you" to me, but he has shown it by being there for me since I was 18. I still cannot call him Dad though. I call him Pop, because every other male who I had to call dad, was worthless, except for the fact that they showed me what [i]not[/i] to do as a father. I wanted kids at first, thought I would show them all by being the best father ever. I realized later that was a childish sentiment & decided that I did not want kids. What if I could not be a good father? What if they had a messed up head like my ex-dads all said I had? I resolved not to have kids. Then I met my wife. I fell in love with her, with who she pretended to be. She said she wanted 4 kids, I told her I wanted zero kids. She said if I wanted her, I had to give her 2 kids, 1 boy & 1 girl, with the option for more. I told her that the only way we would have more, is if I started smoking the herb, because 2 already was a lot for me to handle. Could I handle a 3rd? I don't know, but I don't think so & I have always been good at knowing my limits. I tell my kids that I love them everyday. When they come home & ignore me, I pretend to get all mad & huffy, asking them if they forgot something. They start smiling & pretend to find things they might have "forgot" to do. I pretend to get even more angry, then I fake cry as I run up the stairs to my room, where they will chase me & dog pile on me and we start wrestling & giving hugs. I may not be the best father, but I try to be the best father I can be. So when I look at these guys who father children & leave, then act all proud that they have 6 kids by 6 different women, I see a double fool. First, you are a fool to father a child you have no intention of being there for & second, you are a fool for all the joy you are missing out on. That said, you have to know yourself. There is no way I could have handled a kid in my late teens, early 20's. I was 30 when my wife got pregnant. My temper was under control & I was calmer. I had the wildness out of my system. My buddy though, he & his wife have 6 or more kids. They had their first right out of high school. He is such a good dad, it makes me happy for his kids & take notes as to what I can improve on. A father can make all the difference in the world, but if we are out there lifting on high these men who just dump their seed & run, we are just going to keep getting the same result. You don't even have to be married, just be there. No child cares, they just want you to care about them, to spend time with them & to love them.