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Edited by SoulCatcher1214: 11/3/2016 6:53:38 PM
5

The Sun's Journey (Part One: Chapter I) - A Destiny Fiction

[u][b]Part 1[/b][/u] The Tower is surprisingly quiet as dawn began to break on the horizon. None of the stalls were open, no one was out and about, no Guardians hung around -- sprinting from place to place -- and no ships came into dock. Ghosts flutter about, doing what they do in the Tower. The flags swish in the cool wind and create a snapping noise. The Traveler floats in the atmosphere, looming over the Last City, and gazing upon the Tower and it's Guardians. A lone Warlock leans against the Tower railing and gazes at the wall surrounding the City. Her glowing blue gaze turns to the horizon as the sun rises higher and creates a golden aura around the Traveler. The clouds turn a blush red, honey yellow, and a soft blue from the sky. Rays of sunlight grace the Sunsinger's light blue skin, whose veins ripple a faint silver. Her gloved fingers brush her raven black bangs behind her ear, revealing a white tattoo upon her forehead. The rays dance across the metal and honey gold pieces of her robes and armor. Her mind reflects onto the previous day's events. A shiver runs down her spine. ~~~~~ [i]Sol sat in her ship, orbiting Venus, as she waited for her Ghost to find two other Guardians to go after the Archon Priest with. There was no way she was going alone with Fallen swarming about the cell, so the reports have said. She felt her ship preparing to enter Venus' atmosphere. Her Ghost showed her the names of the two other Guardians joining her. She sat up in her chair and put on her helmet, prepping her guns. Her body materialized on the surface of Venus and she glanced around, spotting the two other Hunters who were to join her. Being her Awoken self, she gave each a courteous bow and the two Hunter strangers waved back. Behind her helmet, a genuine smile appeared on her blue lips. The two Hunters and her slaughtered the Fallen as they made their way toward the Archon Priest's stolen cell. They were making good time. Sol picked up some heavy ammo and reloaded her rocket launcher, which was decorated in the colors of the Iron Banner. The Hunters slid behind the giant rock and joined her in cover. The ground shuddered as the Archon Priest blasted their cover with rocket blast after rocket blast. As she was about to break from cover, she froze, her mind went blank and pupils dilated. The voices of the Hunters came through the comms, asking her what was wrong. No response came, but soon a dark chuckle escaped her lips. Slowly, she turned back to face the Guardians in her fireteam, who helped her get this far. The Bladedancer spoke to her, "Hey, Sunny, you okay?" Her chuckles stopped as she turned her helm to face the arc wielder. The rocket launcher moved with her head and was now aiming at him. "Woah! Woah! Watch where you point that," he put his hands up. "Trust me. I am," she sneered. Her finger curled around the trigger and pulled just as she glided back. The rocket exploded upon impact and the sound of "Guardian Down" and the words "Last Guardian Standing" flashed in her helm. The Archon Priest stepped around the rock and fired at the murderous Warlock. She hissed as a warning noise flared within her Racing Wings helmet. Her body gained a golden aura as she reached towards the sky and flames surrounded her. She jumped into the air and pulled out her Red Death, flinging firebolts at the Priest. He screeched and she fired at the Fallen's head repeatedly. Her feet hit the ground and she stalked towards the Priest as she fired. The Archon fell dead just as her super finished. She glanced around, the remaining Fallen retreated. Sol's attention then returned to the Ghosts of the Hunters. A cruel smirk went upon her lips as she summoned her own Ghost and returned to orbit, leaving them there for dead. She was in her ship once more and blinked several times. "What... How... How did I get here? I was fighting the Archon..." Her Ghost, Xavier, appeared before her and spoke, "You told me to take you back to orbit." "Did we kill the Archon?" Xavier took on a look of sadness, if that was even possible for the little robot, "Um... More like you killed the Archon." Sol took off her helmet and confusion graced her features, "What do you mean by that?" "Well... You... How do I say this? You killed the two Hunters then proceeded to kill the Archon on your own." "..." "..." "WHAT?!" "Yeah. I...have no idea what happened to you." She glanced around with fear in her eyes. Then she looked at her Ghost and moved closer to him, "We must not tell anyone of this. To kill another Guardian... Especially one helping you... It's... Ugh... Not a word to anyone, understand? We make this promise here within this ship." "I promise, ma'am."[/i] ~~~~~ By now the sun is fully risen in the sky and the Tower was full of life since people were now awake. A sigh escaped her lips as she pulls on her helmet and pulls out her Ghost, wanting to go to orbit. That is not going to happen though as two other Guardians run right into her and they all go flying. Xavier flies a safe distance away, watching what the other two had been after, the purple ball that the Tower has to keep replacing. Sol is flat against the grass with two fumbling idiots atop of her. Groans and moans escape the pile of the three Guardians. The Hunter is the first to get up and glance around. The other Warlock gets up next and stumbles as he regains his balance. Sol finally gets up, her robes now being covered in grass and dirt stains. She looks down at herself and groans in displeasure. Turning her glare to the two Guardians who knocked into her, she saw them peering over the railing with frowns upon their faces. She stalks up to the Hunter and grabs him by his collar, turning him around to face her. He was shown to be a human and obviously taller than her by a couple inches, but she didn't back down. The other Warlock, a male exo, looks on as his friend is being gripped by this angry Warlock. The exo snickers and snorts as he attempts to hold back laughter. "YOU SON OF A B--" Sol was cut off by her own Ghost. Xavier flies down, "Hey! Language!" She growls and readies her fist for a punch to this hunter’s [i]oh so perfect [/i]face. The human’s grey eyes widen in fear. [quote]Part 2 of [I]The Sun's Journey[/I]: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/204100393 Character Inferences: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/203591146?sort=0&page=0 [/quote]

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  • So when's part two?

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    • Nice story. Being a Literature natural. One thing that has always bothered me is when people start to describe their characters in the story. I get that you want people to know how they look but unless a feature is important to the story such as a scar that allows magical powers. Then there is little point to add it directly. Try to add it in a subtle way such as. "Oh my gawd I burn way too easily! All I want is a simple tan!" Cried May. "I don't seem to have trouble getting a tan. Why do you?" "Well you see here [u]Ms. Shelby, unlike you, most of us here are not as lucky to have a natural tan and instead are stuck with a marshmallow tone[/u]." Note how her Name, the other potential residents, and a small physical feature was added subtlety and indirectly. I didn't even have to add the "Marshmallow tone" because of the earlier "burn too easily" and "not as lucky to have a natural tan" segment. Anyways, This makes it more presentable and professional. Of course I am only a youngster. So take it with a grain of salt if you so desire.

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      • This is good

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        • I LLLLIKE IT! Keep it up! I'm planning to start my own story sometime although I'll be breaking a number of Destiny rules in mine which is why I'm a bit hesitant to start.

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          • Absolutely amazing. Keep it up. [spoiler]It's a pleasure to meet a fellow writer on these forums.[/spoiler]

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