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6/25/2015 3:31:43 AM
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Meanwhile at the Human resources dept at Bungie… [b] HRMAN:[/b] “Now Luke, I think you know why we are here today, in light of your recent interview we need to address the Pink Elephant and discuss how we are going to move forward” [b] LUKE: [/b]“I don’t really see what I did wrong here; I only said what everyone was thinking” [b] HRMAN:[/b] “It’s true, our corporate focus is to never leave any money on the table, but it’s the way you did it that we need to discuss today” [b]LUKE: [/b]“I really don’t understand what I did wrong?” [b]HRMAN:[/b] “Well first of all, you told players to “Throw Money at The Screen.” Don’t you realize that many Countries like the UK and Canada, use hard currencies like coins? We could be found legally liable to replace Millions of players damaged TV’s and Screens” [b]LUKE:[/b] “Well…I err didn’t think of that” [b] HRMAN:[/b] “Also, why didn’t you effectively communicate, why consumers should spend $80, to obtain these three new emotes, as outlined by DeeJ?” [b]LUKE:[/b] “Well it’s kinda hard to do. Anyone who has played SIMS 3 is going to recognize the dance moves immediately. It’s not my fault I didn’t know what to say” [b] HRMAN: [/b]“I suppose it’s our fault, for finally letting you out of the basement to get some human interaction after 6 months?” [b]LUKE:[/b] “No! I’m not saying that at all…Look if you’re going to fire me please get it over with, so I can drop off my resume at Highwire Games” [b] HRMAN:[/b] “Don’t worry I’m not here to fire you, in fact I’m here to give you a Promotion!” [b] LUKE:[/b] “Serious?? What a relief!” [b]HRMAN: [/b]“Yes someone down there in Marketing really likes you, they said that they like your ideas on how to improve sales, and would like to discuss your plans further in person. Now unfortunately this new position will keep you so busy, that you may not see another human being, nor-less another interview for a very long time. But let me be the first to congratulate you. [b] LUKE[/b]: …..”Marketing! Don’t they sacrifice goats down there?” [b] HRMAN:[/b] “Only on Sundays, now here’s your new purple robe and ID card.”
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