This needs a bump

40$ just to unlock our [b]TAKEN[/b] subclass ? The fuq bungie

It was a stormy day in may, I was playing the level 35 Tower and we were fighting Rahool, this was our last attempt... We had exhausted all our heavy ammo synthesis in the previous rounds and and were making one last daring attempt. We had Rahool down to 50% health when i heard a loud thunder strike outside. "NO!" I screamed but it was too late the red and grey bar had appeared at the bottom of my screen. "Attempting to reconnect." It read. [b]"Get gud scrub"[/b] It thundered all around me, outside and inside the game. Lighting flashed all around my house blinding me, when i regained my vision this is what I saw: "Randall the Vandal has joined your fireteam." I frantically checked my screen and sure enough he was there in our fireteam, 4 in our fireteam... He spawned in with a monstrous roar that turned to a low chuckle... [b]"Not today."[/b] he said. He ran to my unmoving glitching form; my teammates screaming overwhelmed with adds. He spawned a bubble that gave us both weapons and blessing of light. I was astounded but knew that I would not last long enough... I was going to disconnect... When suddenly Randall reached through my screen and grabbed the disconnect bar... I couldn't believe what was happening. He grabbed the bar as if it was a stick, pulled it off my screen and loaded it into his Scorch Cannon He then jumped into the sky, a quartic jump, 5 JUMPS, he got so high he absorbed the sun and then in one swoop shot the disconnect bar into Rahool tearing him apart into nothing. His engrams then proceed to swarm and destroy the mines we were supposed to [i]dismantle[/i]. He stayed with us all the way to Xûr but did not speak. Finally he urinated on him and turned to us and said [b]"become legend Eliksni."[/b] [i]Randall the Vandal has left your fireteam[/i]. speechless me and my fireteam all opened the pee-stained Xûr's inventory... We all bought 3 Scorch Cannons... One void, one arc, and one solar, all already fully maxed. [i]All hail Randall the Vandal[/i]

Dreg: I earnt the my shock pistol. Dreg 2: no you didn't you brought it. Thrall: omg nerf shock pistol so OP Templar: all you low levels are scrubbie scrub scrubs. Oryx: looking for all races to be taken and twisted with evil only lvl20+ must have good weapons. Fallen baron: looking for 6 high level fallen with maxed shrapnel launcher, shock pistol, shock rifle and shock dagger, to do the raid on the city msg for invite. Vex: save the slap rifle from the inevitable nerf. It will be useless and us low level vex will have to face the guardian with are bare hands.

OMG!!! CAN'T BELIEVE BUNGEE MADE STORMTRANCE SO OH PEE!! needs nerf!!

Atheon: "Who wants to help me cheese the guardians? I'll teleport only two of them, and I'll make sure they are detained even though they got teleported, hahaha! Ha! Then I'll make the Oracles invincible!!"

Necro

"We spawned in at noon. I looked over to Frank. He didn't say anything. All he did was start silently crying. We knew that we were as good as dead. Paul broke down on his knees. Greg shot himself before we even went out. He was the first. The bright light of the sun shone through the entrance to the cave. It was the last day of my order. I wish it was mine too." "Paul went out first. As soon as he crossed the threshold, he was shot in the head and died instantly. The same happened with Steve. I ran as fast as I could to the left. Steve's blood was all over me. I was hyperventilating uncontrollably. I looked over to Frank. He had already been hit. His eyes were glazed over, blood all over his chest. He walked out of cover to be instantly shot and killed. Steve was the last one to die. My order was gone. I was only spared because of a disconnect error. I was SUPPOSED TO DIE WITH MY ORDER DAMMIT! I was never the same after that day. The look on Franks face will haunt me until I die." Please donate to the Loot Cave Survivors Foundation today. This 2 week battle cost the lives of millions, and left many broken. Please help us help our brave Hive veterans.

[b]Skolas[/b]: Just went 400:0 with a bunch of guardian scrubs. Git gud, maggots.