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Edited by Maras Wrath:
9/24/2015 3:24:41 PM
291
A love letter to one of your favorite weapons.
Dear Black Hammer,
Thank you for always pushing me to do be better. The precision mag bonus that you give me for playing well is so wonderful. You are so selfless and humble being classified as a mere legendary so that my Gjallarhorn can still come along on our adventures together. I vow now to never dismantle you. I vow that you will always have a slot on solar burn strikes. Thank you for everything you have done, Black Hammer.
Go on, Guardians.
Show one of your favorite weapons a little love.
These are great! Keep 'em comin', guardians!
[b]wow, guys! 100 replies!
Let the love flow though you. <3 [/b]
[i]200+! You guys are rad. [/i]
[u]450+! I should bake you all cupcakes.[/u]
[b]EDIT: I dismantled my Black Hammer for a measly 100 Eris Morn rep. Now I feel guilty. [/b]
English
#Destiny
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49 Replies>I was only 9 years old >I loved Thorn so much, I had all the grimoire cards and 3d printed replicas >I pray to Thorn every night before bed, thanking him for the kills I've been given >"Thorn is love" I say; "Thorn is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a noob >I know he was just jealous of my 2 headshot kills >I called him a scrub >He blink shotguns me and sends me to go play rumble with NLB >I'm crying now, and my KD hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Thorn >I am so happy >It whispers into my ear "pchng pchng" >It downs my shields with its DoT and puts me down onto my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass-cheeks for Thorn >It penetrates my butt-hole >It hurts so much but I do it for Thorn >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I push against his force >I want to please Thorn >It fires in a mighty pchng as it fills my butt with his DoT >My dad walks in >Thorn looks him straight in the eyes and says "git gud scrub" >Thorn leaves and hides in my vault >Thorn is love. Thorn is life.
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1 ReplyEdited by CyanPandaz98: 5/18/2015 10:54:48 PMDear Fatebringer, Thank you for finally showing your illusive face to me 2 weeks before HoW. I will forever cherish you and keep you safe. I swear that I will never dismantle you or your brothers. I love the way you explode the heads of my enemies as we mercilessly tear through them because of our blood luster-induced rage. You will be forever in my heart.
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1 ReplyDear Truth, I think you're wonderful. You have a beautiful design, an amazing perk set and you always decimate everything you encounter. I love how you ferociously seek anyone who tries to break us apart by doing the same to them. I love how you always tell it how it is, and I love you because you aren't afraid to stand up to Gjallarhorn. It may be the attractive one to most, but to me, you are the launcher that fills the void in my heavy slot, both literally and damage-wise. You are my darkness which brings light. For this, I thank you. <3 xxoo Sincerely swooned, DangerMouseRoFl
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To my unclenched fist, Of all the weapons on my list, You are the hardest and so fast, Always twitching even when I'm last. Thankfully you can hold a gun, Sending dualshock feedback for my fun, And when that moment is just right, I throw you forcefully into the fight! We charge on headstrong like a pack, Bouncing grenades that bounce right back, And when we hear a special oh so near, They cover my eyes to block out the fear!
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Dear Red Death, You are a fantastic weapon, but there is one problem with you. Why can't I use the Bayonet on you. All I want to do is skewer a warlock Retro Lancer style, is that to much to ask. Sincerely A very confused person
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Dear Invective, Of all shotguns I have you treat me the best. When Mr praetorian comes a knocking, you fire, fire, fire, fire and he is dead. I get in a pickle, you always have ammo to spare. An Archon priest gets angry, you get angry back. Love you! Mike
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Edited by A Purple Ball: 5/18/2015 10:17:13 PMDear Eidolon Ally, Remember that first date we went on, and how the cursed thralls exploded so gloriously? Remember how much it cost to upgrade you into and give you that beautiful coat of fresh black paint? Well, I want my -blam!-ing glimmer back.
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I couldn't put this into words, but here you go. For you, my lovely Summoner. - Steve
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1 ReplyDear Fatebringer, Tonight, I'm not gonna pull-out.
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1 ReplyDear Mulititool. I don't know where to start, I LOVE YOU. Because you get me kills amd stuff in crucible? No. Because you are a sexy weapon? No. (You are though) Because you are a stellar sextant? No. Because you are a troll smasher? No, not that either. I love you because you kill guardians before they can shotsnipe me, I love you Mida. P.S Roses are red. The sky is blue. A lot of guardians are dead. All thanks to you. <3
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Dear 2 to the Morgue, I remember the great day when shotguns were buffed and I needed a trusty sick kick to be my everything--to fight the darkness-- and to be my friend. I will never forget the ease you have granted me wether it is filling sword bearers, jump shoting wizards or melting praetorians in VoG. Now that HoW is soon upon us I will need forget your perfect roll and I will never forget you. You know the old tale. Love, Eift
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Dear Hawkmoon I have had a wonderful time playing with you. Specially thanks to that extra ballistics option that gives increased stability and you having hammer forged with great impact and fire rate. Also I love how you work specially for me since when other Guardians try to use it they have poor aim and my aim is better then the new HoW target acquisition perk. You and I have bonded very much ever since I got you. You help me rek everyone in the Crucible just by being in my primary. Your 13 round mag enables me to rek the whole enemy team with one magazine. I do play PvE too but I love PvP too much. Since I have mastered you I ALWAYS rek the infamous Vex and Thorn with you. The crisp raw sound you make every time I shoot the living crap out of someone in the head and get the kill is so loving and tender to my ears. You have lately been so helpful with situations in the lucky bonus damage shots for extreme situations. You honestly are the best weapon I have for my favorite mode in the game, the Crucible. Thank you for such great experiences reking so many teams without almost ever needing teammate help. I love you Hawkmoon.
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Dear Zombie Apocalypse, You have managed to be relevant even though underpowered. A new era is nearly upon you. Hail to the return of a true legend.
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2 RepliesDear fatebringer, It was hard for me to find u. I had to do countless vog just to get u. When the new dlc came out, everyone replaced you with word of crota but I didn't. I don't care what attack value you have. U r the best hand cannon for pve. Thank you for always fighting the darkness with me.
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2 Repliesdear fatebringer. as I get a headshot kill, the splosion is satisfying and the reload, your reload headshots are AWSOME
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2 RepliesDear Gjallarhorn, Thanks for getting me into ever raid I please. Dear Fatebringer, Why did it take you so long to drop???!! Dear The Last Word, Thanks for making crucible easy Dear Hawkmoon, Thanks for being hawkawesome
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1 ReplyOh Fatebringer, Ima put it in your butt!!!
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1 ReplyDear fatebringer Wow have we been in some crazy battles even enemies with void an solar shields, I was just writing this letter to say I love you an your the best weapon if I could I'd rock fatebringer/fatebringer/fatebringer. I don't care what any one says about you, your always my first choice of a weapon. -forever yours Seanaaaferg
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Dear Up For Anything, My darling A thousand shots you fired Yet never did you jam A thousand mags I changed Yet never did you complain A thousand kills we have gained together Yet you never left my side You are, my darling The one I've been waiting for. After several crappy cannons and scout rifles, You came to me. A gift of behave of the speaker. And yet you may have been level 20 And I only 5 You waited for me. In a dark place Along with other waiting armor. And when I finally reached level 20 You were still there You never left me You never failed me You never cheated me You are, my darling, mine. And I am yours.
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Dear necrochasm, You suck Sincerely, Tastycow5
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Dear Ice Breaker, I don't use you anymore. [spoiler]Or like you ._.[/spoiler]
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Dear icebreaker, you wan sum fuk?
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Dear Bad Juju I was there with you, since the beginning. You were my first. We used you, never reloading. They laughed. They said you were weak. Your magazine became greater. Pulse Rifles ascended to take the place of the Auto Rifles, who were layed low by the Gods of Bungie. You will be the last. As the City falls, I'll hold you. As the Fallen Ketches destroy our hopes, you will destroy the hordes of Thrall who fling themselves at us. You will leave my hands only when I draw my final breath. We'll show them.
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Dear steel oracle, You really would mate you are a rocket launcher. -wot?
