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3/30/2015 5:57:54 AM
49
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Thorn so much, I had all the grimoire cards and 3d printed replicas
>I pray to Thorn every night before bed, thanking him for the kills I've been given
>"Thorn is love" I say; "Thorn is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a noob
>I know he was just jealous of my 2 headshot kills
>I called him a scrub
>He blink shotguns me and sends me to go play rumble with NLB
>I'm crying now, and my KD hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Thorn
>I am so happy
>It whispers into my ear "pchng pchng"
>It downs my shields with its DoT and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Thorn
>It penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Thorn
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Thorn
>It fires in a mighty pchng as it fills my butt with his DoT
>My dad walks in
>Thorn looks him straight in the eyes and says "git gud scrub"
>Thorn leaves and hides in my vault
>Thorn is love. Thorn is life.
English
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Happened upon this while polishing my Hand Cannon... Went off in my face... Had to wait for my mom to revive me... Regret nothing...
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thats the susses pedo shi*. bro are u ok?
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funny tho lol
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I love you for this no homo I needed something to make me laugh.
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I'm dying over here. Lol
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This happened with my ex girlfriend the 4th time we -blam!-ed. Except I didn't have a straight face when I looked her dad in the eyes.
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This guy is crazy
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Well... Time to dismantle Thorn...[spoiler]not really, too badass[/spoiler]
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Wow you and thorn are really close to let him penetrate you.
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This is my new favourite thing on the forum! #thornislovethornislife
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D: how did you remember shrek is love shrek is life?
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O M G
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^that. That was scaring. Ps how did you memorize shrek is love, shrek is life Just wondering
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[quote]^that. That was scaring. Ps how did you memorize shrek is love, shrek is life Just wondering[/quote] I'm not that smart haha. Just copy pasted the original and edited it a little.
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Now wtf am I suppose to do with this erection.
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I spit my water on my girlfriend when i read that. Thanks
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It escalated so quick XD
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I was only 9 then... I prayed to The Devil you know every night... This Devil was named Lucifer... I spread the 2 pieces of bread apart... He put his long,hard piece of meat onto the bread... My favorite, cold salami... Next he put the lubricant onto the bread... Miracle whip... Then I put a piece of cheese onto the bread... I took the long, hard 12 inch sandwich... [spoiler]And put it into my butt...[/spoiler]
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Literally in tears right now lmao
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Well.... I'll just... Go over here now... *flies to Canada*
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Well......... No more story time........
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If you scroll down fast it looks like it's movin
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Bad idea to read this in class. Laughed too hard.
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Omg hahahahahahahah
