{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
1/9/2014 12:18:48 AM
30
These are the funniest customer reviews ever
-
Editado por Capiton Render: 1/9/2014 8:14:55 PMLol, thatch reviewing an axe [quote]I really like this axe. It's got a nice solid piece of hickory in the handle, and the head's high carbon steel--it needs some sharpening out of the box, but then it keeps its edge. I don't know how it would hold up against a tree, but it works great on people. I'm an axe murderer. By which I mean, I kill people with an axe. If you have a problem with it, drop it in the comments section below and know that I will never read it. I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. It's just who I am. Who do I kill? I don't have a type, really. I think guys who'll only kill blondes or Asians are kind of creepy. I'm more interested in what's on the inside. For me, the biggest thing is a sense of humor. Like the other day, I'm in the library, loading up on a bunch of early Phillip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldrich, etc.--if you have a problem with dystopian sci-fi, again, leave it in the comments). Anyway the librarian--this kind of low-key hipster chick in hornrims--says, real dry, "What's with all the old Dick? Having a lemon party?" I died laughing. We both did.[/quote]
-
[url=http://imgur.com/account/favorites/XAHZL]DayZ standalone reviews[/url]
-
1 Responder[quote]When I found out that Samsung accepted human kidneys as a form of payment I was overjoyed. The price was one and a half kidneys so I told em to keep the change and just take both of them. I'm just out of surgery and the set looks great in the ICU...well from the bed I can see half of it in the nurse's station. Funny...I didn't think you could survive without any kidn[/quote] My favorite.
-
-
Bump for hilarity.
-
[quote]By Walter This review is from: Hoover MaxExtract 60 PressurePro Carpet Deep Cleaner, FH50220 (Kitchen) Great vacuum, works well. Replacement parts are expensive though. The other day I called to order a new dust filter and got a call back saying the deluxe package cost $125,000. [/quote]
-
1 Responder[quote]I sold my wife to some Egyptian guy to buy this tv. While the sex life isn't there, the porn is better than ever. Would recommend.[/quote] Oh my sides
-
[quote]This TV still isn't large enough to show how fat your mom is. Must return. 1 out of 5 stars.[/quote] Hahahah
-
2 Respostas[quote]My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It's missing the remote, but oh well-- for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I've never seen the world with such clarity. Amanda, if you're reading this, hang in there, honey! We'll see you in a year. ***** I just wanted to add an addendum to my review. Since posting it, we have received a flood of responses. People have said some pretty hurtful things--even questioning our values. Let me assure you, this was not an easy decision to make, and we made it as a family. Obviously, it's very personal. But in light of all the second-guessing, I wanted to explain our thinking. P.S., as for our daughter, NO ONE has the right to question our parenting. Totally out of bounds. Amanda was going into 7th grade, so it was going to be a transitional year anyway. Now she gets to see the world. How many kids her age get to go to Bahrain? I sure as heck didn't, but you don't hear me screaming "child abuse." Bottom line: MYOB! Seriously.[/quote] [quote]Generally, the Samsung has held up beautifully. We have noticed a little bit of lag, mostly in multi-player gaming--but not enough to cost us any firefights. There have been some issues up-imaging low rez content, but that's to be expected when you early-adopt--we're still "waiting on the world to change," as John Mayer would say (gosh he's talented.) On the plus side, we feel like we are now officially part of the cast of GOT. The other night Peg almost had to open a window to let Daenerys' dragons fly out! And you'll all be happy to know our darling Amanda is back with us, safe and sound. She has changed a little. She's less talkative than before (though she had some choice words for me when I asked her to clean her room). And she's started wearing eye make-up, which has Peg a bit concerned. But welcome to thirteen, I guess. We're just glad to have her home. And she loves the TV. That's the main thing. In fact, she spends so much time in front of it lately, you'd swear she owns it.[/quote] This man is insane X'D
-
[url=http://www.amazon.com/review/R3JUIEGFUTUWMI/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt/188-6406834-8831546?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000796XXM&nodeID=16310091&store=industrial#wasThisHelpful]easily my favorite.[/url]
-
Hahahahahahaha
-
2 RespostasMoney well spent
-
Holy crap. Thank you so much, I laughed so hard I cried. This is hilarious. I can't even believe these are real reviews.
-
O Thatch is amazing Here is his review of the circumcision training doll [quote]Thank you, Jeanette! What a lovely sweater. I haven't worn one like this since George and I were in Ireland, right before Dennis was born. That was our last trip abroad, wasn't it George? Well, thank you. What a treasure. Okay, let's see who's next? Oh, here's one for Dennis. A nice big box for Dennis. There are you, Dennis. What do you think's in it? My goodness, you ARE giving that a good shake, aren't you? Why don't you open it? Just open it, Dennis. All right, don't throw the paper, Dennis. Watch the elbows--Aunt Jeanette is sitting right next to you. That's better, okay. What did Santa bring you? That's right, it's a Peepee Doll! Just like the one from the birdyplane. ....Because it's what he wanted, George....Well, you're not the one who has to spend 16 hours a day listening to him scream "Peepee Doll", are you?....Well, I don't think any of us knows "how this is going to end", and you're being needlessly negative. Jeannette, Dennis saw it in SkyMall and became a little obsessed. And now you have it, don't you, Dennis? Your very own Peepee Doll. Now let's see what old Kris Kringle brought for Aunt Jeannette... Dennis, what are you doing? Dennis don't do that. Not in front of guests, Dennis. Not ever, and especially not in front of guests. Yes, you have one too. Now put it away. Of course yours is bigger-- because that's a doll baby and you're 42. Put it away, Dennis. All the way. Jeannette does not want to see it, Dennis. Look at her face, look at the cues. Does she look happy? I think she looks frightened. Put it away. There we go. Good choice. Okay. Now let's see what old Kris--Dennis, don't do that. Don't put those in your mouth. Those are not for putting in your mouth. Dennis? No one cares how many you can put in your mouth, Dennis. It's not funny. If you're the only one laughing, it's not funny. Put them back in the box. Don't throw those at Aunt Jeanette. I don't think she's enjoying it. Dennis, if you can't play nice with the Peepee Doll, Daddy will have to take it away...George, you most certainly WILL get in the middle of this...because you are his father...Dennis, put the penises back in the box. Dennis! Do not throw the penises into the fire. Dennis? Dennis! That's it. That's enough. George, take the Peepee Doll from Dennis. Right now. You just lost the Peepee Doll, Dennis. No more Peepee Doll for Dennis. Grab it, George! Both arms, dear, hold on with both arms. Let go of it, Dennis. Let go. Let go. Let your father have the Peepee Doll. Good...okay. Are we all calm now? Dennis? All right, that's good. Now, let's see, what did old--Dennis! Put down the tree! Dennis, you put down that Christmas tree this instant! Put it down! Don't you even think about putting that in the fire, Dennis. George! George, give Dennis back the Peepee Doll! Put down the tree, Dennis, and Daddy will give you the Peepee Doll. There we go. Okay. Let's all take a deep breath. Everyone just, just take a deep breath and calm down. Well, my goodness. We've certainly had some excitement, haven't we? Now, let's see what Kris Kringle--Dennis, don't look at your Aunt Jeanette like that. Staring is very rude, Dennis. Dennis, sit down! No licking, Dennis! We don't lick our guests! Don't--Put Jeanette down, Dennis! Put Aunt Jeanette down this instant! George, get the shot! Dennis, no licking! Get the shot, George! Go limp, Jeanette! Go limp! We don't lick guests, Dennis! George, the neck! It has to be in the neck! There...there...there he goes. There goes Dennis. Okay. Bedtime for Dennis. Good night, Dennis. Okay. Leave him there, George. He's perfectly all right. It's just a mild horse sedative. He'll be fine a few hours. Well, my goodness. Is everyone all right? Jeanette? Everyone's all right, okay. Let's just... let's all have a seat. Scone, Jeanette? No? Okay. Let's all just...stop crying. George, please stop crying. There. There, that's better. Okay. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Let's see what old Kris Kringle has brought Aunt Jeanette...[/quote]
-
My sides are in orbit.
-
Well this is my night settled.
-
-
First review:[spoiler]73 inch vag![/spoiler] [spoiler]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *wheezing* *dies from lack of oxygen*[/spoiler]
-
If you watch Mr.Plinkett then you'll love this one.
-
3 RespostasI have one of those.
-
top bant
-
[quote]Will the Amazon drone deliver this? Actually, I believe that Optimus Prime will deliver it for you and have Bumblebee set it up for you... [/quote] huehuehue
-
THanks for this that was hilarious
-
-
-
Lol, this is good
