In the age of technological advancements, so forward from what was once breaking edge technology to what is now just "primitive type 2" things such as Virtual reality, wireless phone charging, even bluetooth all of it considered "Primitive type 2" or "Primitive technology's", there is advancements so far that someone from merely the 2020s could not fathom and likely would commit suicide or go into a deadly panic.
The States motto is "Industrial, Technological, tommorow is the now" and well while it seems so primitive the state motto it actually isn't quite what you think, industrial here in 2043 means not for factories, textile production nor just production but it means the way life is built, you see everyone in this "Oligarchy Monarchy" of a state is ran like a machine, all intertwine to a primus or a "motherboard". If someone is too buy a Delè 20 phone it must be accepted by the primus.
As for the Technological, we are born with organic eyes as all humans are to be, then when we become the age of 13 we must undergo a procedure to have our eyes "updated" to a more technological state. If you are feeling sad or even mad a quick scan of my eye is all I need to see what is truly wrong with you. Of course though that doesn't mean I can read your mind, but I can mentally see your Emotians. We can now also use clean nuclear energy to power vehicles, most of the time we drive it is too dangerous having self driving automobiles, this is likely one of the few primitive type 2 standards that still exist even today. There is so much technological advancements in the world in 2043 that it would be much longer then the bible if someone we're to put it all in a history book chronologically dating back from 2034 to 2043.
We in 2043, which also happens to be the name of our state, though geologically speaking we live in South Eastern Europe near the Eurasian mountains which don't exist anymore due to massive mountain mining, are taught not to live in the past nor think much of it unless we desire to but to be happy with the present and satisfied with what comes in the future. Since wars are condemned to North America as all Europe, Asia, and Africa including the Middle East have all sought peace towards one another through not religious assimilation but aid in having all nations built as the same, as 2043.
But somewhere in North America, someone plans to ruin it all, end 2043 and keep to the primitive type 2 technological ways and life. A Canadian named "Nathan Williamson".......
Next up "2043: Somewhere, in Toronto Canada"
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Was kind of bored and didn’t feel like reading, but I did it anyways. Looks good.
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1 ResponderLike others said, this needs a LOT of editing. You have an interesting premise but the writing is (and sorry if this comes off as being very harsh) amateurish. There's nothing [i]wrong[/i] with being a beginner writer - everyone needs to start somewhere - although the writing here is way too informal. It feels like a conversation - like you're putting your thoughts into words and hitting post. You DO have an interesting premise, it just needs heavy editing, giving particular care to your flow and syntax. I love helping people with their writing - so feel free to ask me for any more advice and let me know if this comment isn't helpful.
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6 RespostasThis sounds promising. Good premise. A little more editing would help it do even better though. I look to seeing where this goes!
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Might want to proofread things a bit more thoroughly next time. Maybe put a bit more time into editing.
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1 ResponderDo I sense a story?
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1 Responder