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Editado por cult:
7/19/2016 2:38:14 PM
35
Jokes, Jokes And Um, More Jokes!
What are some funny jokes you guys know? I'd like to see them and vote which is the best daily.
Best joke: NydroXide
English
#Offtopic
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2 RespostasGuys, I’m -blam!-ing sick of this. I’m almost 20 and haven’t been able to score a better job than a -blam!-ing cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that’ll hire high school graduates. I’d get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I’ve failed every damn test I’ve ever taken. I’m socially awkward, even my only other co-worker -blam!-ing hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she’s athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it’s like; I’ve been friend zoned real hard. She’s my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I’m pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he’s the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all -blam!-ing worse is that I live in a -blam!-ing pineapple under the sea.
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15 RespostasThree friends decided to go for a holiday in africa. One day when they were on holiday they decided to go through the jungle to explore a little. When they were exploring they were captured by a tribe. The tribe leader told them if they wanted to live they had to pass a test. The three friends had to go to the jungle and bring back 10 fruits. The first one got back with ten apples. The tribe leader told him put them in your ass and if you don't have any reaction you will live but if you have any reaction will kill you. So the first one start putting the apples in his ass but on the third one he stopped so the tribe leader slipped his throat and he died. The second one came back with 10 cherries. The tribe leader told him the same thing so he start putting the cherries up his ass but on the ninth one he burst out laughing. The tribe leader killed the second one too. The two of them met in purgatory. The first one told the second one I had apples I couldn't put more then three they were way too big. The second one said that he had cherries and it was easy to do. So the first one asked him how could he be death and the second one one told him that when he was going to put the last one in his ass he saw the third one coming back with ten watermelons.
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13 RespostasThere are more than 2 genders.
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2 Respostas9/11 jokes are just plane wrong. [spoiler]im having suicidal thoughts k bai[/spoiler]
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Possible spelling errors ahead! Two vampire bats were recently removed from their cave and found a new one with another community. They then we're talking about how they were hungry but were afraid to go out without knowing the area. The first bat says he's not afraid and he goes out. He later returns, covered in blood. The second bat says "wow where'd you find all that blood?" To which the first bat replies "follow me." When they get to the mouth of the cave, the bat asks "see that building?" The other replies "Yes." The first then says "well I didn't." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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What did the man with leprosy say to the hooker "Keep the tip" ;)
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36 RespostasEditado por x Lets Get It On: 7/18/2016 10:36:58 PMWhy do women wear panties with flowers on them? [spoiler]In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there.[/spoiler] I thought it was funny (•-• ) [spoiler]No ban pls (;-; )[/spoiler]
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10 RespostasThis is not gonna count, just giving inspiration. A black man and a mexican get into a car, who's driving? [spoiler]The cop[/spoiler]
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4 RespostasLook away, Ninjas... What do you call a black man on the moon? [spoiler]A problem. [/spoiler] What do you call 10 blacks on the moon?[spoiler]Problems. [/spoiler] What do you call the entire black population on the moon? [spoiler]Problem solved. [/spoiler]
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Inb4ban [spoiler]black lives matter[/spoiler] Couldn't resist
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Um I don't have a joke But I do have [url=https://youtu.be/vs1mXnWuHd8]this[/url]
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5 RespostasEditado por Orn: 7/19/2016 4:01:17 PM[b][i]Hmm. Inb4 ban... [spoiler]Once upon a time, a man had three daughters who loved him very much. One day, the first daughter came up to him, and asked "Daddy, why did you name me Rose?" The father replied with "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." Soon after, the second daughter asked him "Daddy, why did you name me Violet?" The father replied with "Because when you were born, a violet fell on your head." The third daughter approached the father and said "DAAAAAAAAAAADAAAA!" He replied with "Shut up, Brick!" Fin. Don't ban me plz.[/spoiler][/i][/b]
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Editado por LordOf27Donuts: 7/19/2016 11:43:55 PMWhat do you call a fish with no eyes [spoiler]fsh[/spoiler]
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1 ResponderTwo guys go hunting in the woods. They are walking down a trail when one of them suddenly has a heart attack and falls to the ground. His friend is terrified but luckily he has enough cell service for a 911 call. Operator: "911. What is your emergency?" Hunting man: "Hello? Help. My friend... we were just out going hunting.... and he just fell down....and I think he's dead! What do I do?" Operator: "Sir. I need you to calm down." Hunting man: "Ok.... yes ma'am.... ok." The man begins to calm down Operator: "Ok sir. First I need you to make sure that he's dead. Got it?" Hunting man: "Yes ma'am." The man puts down the phone and walks over and picks up his gun. [spoiler]*BANG BANG BANG*[/spoiler] Hunting man: "Ok. Now what?"
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Editado por Cegiofra: 7/19/2016 11:04:41 PMI'm a skeleton now, I used to play the [b]trombone[/b] wen I was alive, but now I've lost my [b]Skins[/b]. Sorry I don't have a great sense of [b]humerus[/b]
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Why can't you trust atoms?[spoiler]Because they make up everything[/spoiler]
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1 ResponderWhy can't a bicycle stand up on it's own? [spoiler]It's two tired.[/spoiler]
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Editado por rapiemur: 7/19/2016 8:39:30 PMAs I was going out one day, my head fell off and rolled away. Signed, H. Horseman
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I went to the zoo the other day. All they had was a dog. It was a shitzu.
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5 RespostasSo a vegan woman wanted to prove vegans could do anything people that eat animal products can do. So she climb Mount Everest with 5 other people. She died half way up the mountain. Do you want to know how she died? She ran out of oxygen [spoiler]Telling everyone she was vegan.[/spoiler]
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4 RespostasJohn and Jill throw a Halloween costume party. Everyone in the neighborhood shows up dressed a costume. Jill looks over and sees their neighbor bill only wearing pants. "BILL" Jill screams.. "Hello jill" replies bill Jill: what on earth are you supposed to be? Bill: I'm premature ejactulation. Jill: I don't get it? Bill: I just came in my pants.
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2 RespostasLittle Timmys on the playground one day when he sees his dad and his aunt drive into the forest. Little Timmys a curious boy so he followed them. They parked and dad and aunt Terry got out and started having some sexy time. So little Timmy went home and told his mom and his mom said "Well let's wait and tell the story when daddy gets home." So daddy arrived home and they sat down for dinner. "So Timmy tell Dad your story!" Said mom "Ok! So I saw dad and aunt Terry do what mom and uncle Joe did last summer!"
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I ran into a post like this once I got a Ninja warning
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18 RespostasWhy did he chicken cross the road [spoiler]To get to the other side[/spoiler]
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3 RespostasWho was the best skeleton detective? [spoiler]sherlock bones[/spoiler] How did the bony people send messages in the old days?[spoiler]through the bony express[/spoiler]
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You know what the biggest joke is? [spoiler]Hillary[/spoiler]
