Occasionally, most often before sleeping; I think about the time before my first memory. I try to focus on this 'memory' and analyze ever bit of it. The only problem being that there is a total absence of everything. This does not bother me. I have no problem wrapping my head around it. However, it is when I project my findings to my future, after death, that I begin to freak out. I simply can not accept that after I die I will no longer experience anything for the rest of forever, which is infinite. When I think of the absence of everything for eternity I would happily take being in a dark room and in agonizing pain over nothing. Do you ever have similar thoughts? What do you conclude from them?