• I promise will distribute big tiddy goth gfs to all OffTopicans • I promise to banish all the hecking liberals into Tartarus • I promise to establish a Robbie Rotten as our forumcinal spirit animal • I promise, very truly, that I will make a version of Despacito for the OffTopic forum. It will be glorious. • Obligatorily, I will lock Ninjas in a dark basement off the coast of Africa, strip them of their power, and force them to play the Halo 5: Guardians campaign as they sob over what Bungie once was. Well I tried. May the best candidate win, and with it, may they gain many fake internet ego points.