I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. May you, your friends, his family, and his friends find peace in the grieving period. And for the folk who are like "don't post this, suicide trigger" this post very well could also save someone from doing it as well. There's two sides to the coin. Just cause it triggers you, it could save someone else. I nearly did the same thing a few months back. Had a plan too. I picked up my kitten to say good bye and she nuzzled my face and was purring and I thought, I can't leave her. I can't leave my wife, my step daughter, my cats. So I made a few phone calls, and got help. My point is, not everyone is the same. Because this may tilt you, it could also save someone by giving them the direction they need for help.