The morning of my wife's birthday I handed her her first gift. As she unwrapped it she said, "It's a -blam!-ing wand! What do I want with a -blam!-ing wand?" "It's not just any wand," I replied, "It's a magic wand!" "Really?" she said. "What does it do?" "Why don't you give it shake," I told her, "and don't forget to say the magic words." "Okay," she said shaking the wand. "Abracadabra!" "-blam!- me, love!" I said, peering down the side of the bed. "You're not going to believe this." "What is it?" she asked all excitedly. I said, "You've just made all your other presents dissappear"