Recently, a number of farmers have been reporting outbreaks of the parasitic squid subspecies [i]Parasitosquidus devouranus goatus[/i] a.k.a. the Goat Anus-Eating Squid. This squid lives in the rectum of host goats, absorbing water from its system so that it cam breathe. It starts out very small, only a few millimeters across. However, after it has eaten enough goat s****, it cocoons itself in a 3-foot long cocoon, which causes the host goat to become sluggish and appear overweight. Once the fully-formed adult Anus-Eating Squid has woken up, is begins to feast on the anal flesh of the goat while reaching out of the goat's @$$hole to find a squid of the opposite gender. Once it has found a partner, the two squids pull their host goats together, anus-to-anus, while they mate. Afterwards, the male begins to die, and the host goat soon dies as well due to lack of an anus (Farmers often call this "Buttless Billy Death Party"). Meanwhile, the female keeps her goat alive by building it a new anus, and waits until it mates. She then lays eggs on each of the goat embryos when the female gets pregnant. After this, the female squid dies, and the baby goats grow up, each with an egg inside them, which hatches after a year, restarting the cycle. Although some goats remain uninfected, they usually never recover from the trauma of seeing their fellow goats lose their anuses. #protectyogoatsanus