Lock him in a room with the Cryptarch. The Cryptarch is unconscious and tied down on the floor. In the corner of the room is an old black and white TV. When Xur turns it on, our Ghost is seen, wearing streaks of red paint on it. In Peter Dinklage's voice, the Ghost says "You wanna play a game"? The Ghost then informs Xur that the key to the door that lets him escape the room, and gives him back his freedom, is placed inside one of the Cryptarch's organs. And he is allowed to choose and rip open ONE organ every Friday. If he guesses wrong, he has to shove a heavy ammo synthesis up his ass. In Gilbert Godfrey's voice, Xur pleads "Please don't make me do this. We just wanted to play a prank on the Guardians. We're sorry. I beg you! Don't make me do this"!!! But his begging falls on deaf ears. And, little does he realize that there is no such key to freedom. Every week he is forced to randomly pick an organ to remove in the vein hope for some good loot. Blaming asshole.