[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/249751978/0/0]Index[/url]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My feet pounded against the metal floor of the Arcology as I made a dash for the next control point. Lord Shaxx's voice crackled over the comms:
"Your opponent has taken zone 'B', take it back!"
I rounded the corner of the long hallway to make a break for the staircase which lead to zone 'B'. [i]'Zing!'[/i] A high caliber sniper round whizzed past my helmet, my HUD flickering for a split second as the force of the air being split by the round hit my helmet.
"Careful! Dead ahead!" My ghost's voice said through the comm.
I smirked and suddenly dipped low as I moved into a slide, my armor and robes scraping across the metal floor. [i]'Zing!'[/i] another bullet whizzed past my helmet, this time overhead. My momentum slowed and I rolled to the left just behind some crates as I scrambled to my feet and took off towards the stairs leading to 'B'.
I was almost there now, all I had to do was get up that staircase. My fireteam was behind me, not yet able to provide backup. I knew that sniper would have alerted his team to my presence now, and at the top of those stairs a hailstorm of bullets awaited me.
[i]".....Perfect."[/i] I think to myself.
As my foot hits the top of the stairs I suddenly leap from the ground and rip through the fabric of space, my body vanishing from sight and reappearing higher and closer to the enemy team than before. I can see them, they have gathered on zone 'B' as I anticipated.
Void light erupts from my body as I let loose the torrent that had built up inside of me. The bullets whizzed past my body left and right, some ricocheting off the shielding of my armor and others disintegrated by the void light radiating from my body. Suddenly I rapidly vanish and reappear, each time closer than before to the enemy. I can see their ranks breaking.... But it is too late.
I gather the energy of the void inside of myself until I can store no more and I land between all six of them as I let it explode outwards all at once. Six stood against me, and six fell. The zone was ours, and Shaxx was screaming unintelligibly over the comms.
[b][u]This[/u][/b] was why I loved the crucible.
-
1 ReplyHoly heck. Why did I love this so much? Reading the next ones now!
-
2 RepliesEdited by Grays_KS27: 11/17/2018 1:07:29 PMGood job. The only problems I see is that you switched between past tense and present tense a little. And a few of your sentences seemed a little too long. Breaking them down into more sentences might help. May I add this to my [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/245771343/0/0]Archive[/url]? If so, do you have a title for this or should I label it as Untitled?
-
That was really good, like the other guy said, it really captures the "badassery" of crucible. Lmao
-
Not bad. 👍
-
This is your brain on Nova warp
-
I like it. Captured the badassery of the Crucible in a short but fun manner.