{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
Edited by Spawn:
11/11/2016 2:21:48 PM
207
Thank you Bungie, You saved me when no one else would
I am a depressed mess. I have severe anxiety and am depressed. Sometimes it gets to a point where I'm suicidal. It got so bad I went out and got arrested. I don't commit crimes anymore, but I'm losing most of my friends. If only they knew how I felt. I feel so alone and horrible sometimes. Someone I knew just commit suicide too. He was just like me. He seemed so happy. I'm a good actor too. My condition gets worse and worse since I stopped going to therapy and have refused to get diagnosed. It's not really a question of "if I will commit suicide," it's more of a "when?"
I want to thank you Bungie, for making a game so engaging. When I play I forget about these horrible feelings. I would say this game saved me. I love this game more than anything. I may trash talk the game when I'm mad but I genuinely love this game. It's the only reason I ever feel accomplished. I love all the content you put out. Thank you for continuing to save me until I decide it's time.
When I die, can you do something for me? Well not necessarily for me. It's for my best friend. I don't really talk to him since I'm self destructive. He's always had my back and I know he'll be devastated by my death. I just wanted to repay him in some way. Maybe an exotic called "The Legacy," or something. I'll tell you his gamertag when it's time. You can confirm my death when it's on the news.
Thank you for this amazing game Bungie.
Edit 1: I don't expect Bungie to do anything for me. I just wanted to thank them on making such an amazing game; furthermore saving my life. They are the reason I'm still here. Hopefully Destiny can continue saving my life
Edit 2: Stop saying do drugs. I experimented with many and they made me feel worse in the long run. They are what caused me to start cutting. Don't worry, I stopped cutting, but I'm reminded everyday when I see the scars on my legs
Edit 3: I actually love when someone posts KYS. I have a dark sense of humor and find it really funny. Whoever puts kys is a total savage. Thank you to all the people backing me up though. I greatly appreciate it
Edit 4: thank you all for helping me. I'll try talking to someone tomorrow. If things don't go to well there will be a "guardian down" next week. Thank you all. I'll hate to not be able to continue playing this game if the time comes soon. Thank you so much Bungie for making a game that can help people like me. I'll miss all of this
English
-
Life is precious, and suicide is a serious issue to be handled by licensed professionals. Bungie employees and forum moderators are not trained to handle those in a suicidal crisis; please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You may also wish to contact any of the following crisis prevention resources: US: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org www.spanusa.org UK: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx Canada: http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ International Directory: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Military Crisis Line: Active duty, Guard and reserve service members, their families and friends stateside and in Europe have 24/7 access to the Military Crisis Line at no cost. For crisis support, those in the U.S. call 800-273-8255, then press 1. Callers in Europe dial 00800-1273-8255 or DSN 118. The toll-free service in Europe may not be available through all carriers or in all countries. Military One Source Toll Free Number: 800-342-9647 Military One Source Crisis Prevention: http://m.militaryonesource.mil/crisis-prevention
-
2 RepliesIf you're feeling suicidal just masterbate, it relieves a lot of stress actually.
-
39 RepliesI had a pretty decent life. Married a pretty girl I knew from high school. Had 3 great kids. Had a great career as a police officer, plenty of job offers, was working 7 days a week. Then a moron pulled in front of my motorcycle. I was paralyzed, in the hospital for 3 months. Ended up getting gangrene in my guts from an impaction, had to get a colostomy and a urostomy. Many, many infections and hospitalizations followed. My wife cheated on me with my best friend, who was also an officer, while I was in the hospital. Then while I was in a nursing home for rehab, she wouldn't ever come, or bring the kids to see me. We split up. The anxiety attacks in the middle of the night were wicked, scared to my very core for no reason I could explain. No sleep, hardly ever. What's kept me alive? Knowing there is nothing after this. I'm of scientific mind. Once we're gone here, we're totally gone. No god, no heaven, no devil, no hell. That's a bit unnerving, and a little hard for humans to comprehend, hence: religion, and made-up after-lives. Blackness. Sure, all the pain will be gone, but so will everything. No feeling bad, but also no feeling good. Plus, I get to see my son. That, and eat cake. It's as simple as that. My son, and cake. I want to be able to see him, and eat cake for as long as I possibly can, during this one small blip of a chance, that I was lucky enough to live. Find your cake man.
-
1 ReplyGet this mess off of here.. Go back to therapy kid or do what your gonna do.
-
14 RepliesObviously, I would encourage you to stay alive. But more importantly, accept Jesus as your Savior. Start going to church, praying, and talking to fellow Christians. You need people to help you, but most importantly God needs to help you.
-
Get help. Despite all the support you get from the community here, the pity you give yourself because of all the shit you're suffering, if you're not making progress you're stuck. You have to realize that your condition affects not only you but those people close to you including your buddy. If he's your friend, he's always thinking about whether are you going to kill yourself or not as will anyone else who cares about you. If you want to thank your friend, don't be begging bungee for a special engram.... give your buddy some peace of mind, that's going to be worth a whole lot more. get your shit looked at by someone who can help you. Your condition puts not only yourself through hell but those people close to you. If you don't realize that, then you are completely self-centered but probably can't see that comma especially when you're in such a dark place. Go get the therapy that you don't want to get. Whatever it is you don't want to admit to yourself, maybe the therapy will help you find it and some peace. If you live inside your head too long, all the crazy shit starts to make sense after a while.
-
5 RepliesOkay. Depression is no joke. But how about this: There are people who are in situations that are so bad we in the Western world cannot comprehend. Children playing in the streets of Aleppo, a city wartorn by rebels, foreign coalitions and an army not shy to use chemical weapons. These people have nothing. Even worse, they are thankful to live another day. They lost all their belongings and a whole lot of family and STILL, they try to make the best of it. You got food, water, shelter and internet. Yes, your mental state is abysmal, but the only one that is gonna change your depression around is you. You live in a place where there are resources to help you. How crazy it sounds, you are totally in a position to get better. But you are the one that wants to die, when there are people on the other side of the world fighting for survival every day. Sir, get some goal to live for, work on yourself both physically and mentally, because we are going to need everyone sooner or later. Especially people who know struggle.
-
2 RepliesThen my advice to you is not to play Destiny's PvP too much ;)
-
3 RepliesWhat's with being suicidal? I don't care much for myself, but I live to make others feel happier.
-
9 RepliesNinjas took you down so I brought you back up
-
5 RepliesEdited by Project Zero: 11/11/2016 11:57:08 AMPlease don't be one of those "pity me and my-sob story- because I'm a sympathy junkie- and I love Bungie cause they saved my life with their game" post. Oh, f[b]u[/b]ck, it is!!!!!
-
Keep on fighting Guardian, there's so much to live for. I know how it feels, when I was in college everything was perfect and I literally mean perfect. Went to an amazing school, was one of the top collegiate players for the soccer team, loved the school, talked to so many ppl and they knew me, had the best gf I can ever ask for, was on the deans list, was going to compete for miss USA, homecoming queen was the girl every guy wanted to have and I had all of that and I loved it. While she was doing her own thing I was studying criminal justice and hoping to play MLS in the next 2 years, guess what everything started to go as plan, was amazing. Could go to PDL to get ready for the MLS and had a tryout that summer keep in mind I was a sophomore so I felt like the whole world was open to me. Then little by little it started to fall apart, things back home weren't good cause of the divorce and was always fighting and I could never concentrate, started to argue with my gf cause her parents didnt approve dating another race, I started to play recklessly and soon I ended up tearing my meniscus and my knee cap was out of place by 3 centimeters. I lost everything, I couldn't play and the new coach wanted players so he could win and the fact that I couldn't play my scholarship was taken and had to pay $5k. I couldn't so i had to drop out. I couldn't fix my knee cause didn't insurance so I healed my self enough to work about 8 months, during that time met an awesome girl that helped get my confidence and will to keep my dream alive and I loved her to death but to only find out she lied and cheated and went back to ex and I had EPO/DVO on me cause I said I was going to post pictures of her when I never any..... and I still think of her like crazy. I know how it feels I had everything and then I felt like I was betrayed and left behind and had nothing to show for it, being here yea probably sucks but trust me there's a lot more to live for, you might end the pain for you but you'll start a whole lot your friends and family, fight on and keep fighting, find a hobby that calms you down, find something that brings joy, glad this game does but keep adventuring out and finding new things to do. Keep your head and find your will like I somehow did somehow, you don't want your friend to remind you of a exotic, you want him to remind of you that you fought and kept going and can still game together and make memories. You have the world in your hands what you do its up to you, make those decisions count and wake up to see the sun each day -you can do it, i know you can
-
1 ReplyEdited by Hunter-Max99: 11/11/2016 1:21:27 PM[quote]I am a depressed mess. I have severe anxiety and am depressed.[/quote] Your first mistake. Stop telling that yourself. When you say it to yourself to much it will become a wrong reality. It is like "being" shy. Nobody gets born shy. It's a characteristic we give ourselves and it's something you can work on. Don't waste your time like this. Get help and start enjoying life. It's great!
-
1 Reply
Chad Mayuri
World’s Fastest Runner - old
Edit 5: I'm sorry that some of you think this is a joke -
Can't imagine what would happen if you played a game that was actually good. If Destiny is that engaging then try some other worthy AAA titles. Depression is just a state of mind, Gotta train the mind to be strong.
-
This is good. Don't listen to any of the selfish pricks that are on the post and don't understand anything. I've gone through tough times and just wanted to let you know that it'll all be ok in the end.
-
Edited by Blaziken10: 11/11/2016 2:16:17 PMHey ignore these idiots. Dude I share almost everything in common with you this might be my last post to you. [spoiler]I swear to god if you kill yourself I'll kill you[/spoiler]
-
6 RepliesIf he/she really needed professional help, that person will seek it. Posting here is a sign that you are not taking it serious yourself. Last time, take it serious or do it its that simple. Step one is acceptance.
-
TL;DR "I want to kill myself which would make my friend sad, please make an exotic for him". How about not killing yourself and with that not making your friend sad, instead of this bullshit?
-
2 RepliesMaybe you just need a hobby, I suggest knot tying
-
4 RepliesEdited by KawiFohFiddy: 11/11/2016 1:04:13 PMSo you'll write a long in depth post on a video game forum to a company that doesn't give two shits about you, but you won't call a nationally known phone number that spends millions every year in advertising to try and help people like you? I don't get it. You said yourself in your post that you refuse to get help. Well your extremely selfish!! My wife's cousin committed suicide 4 years ago. He was 24 and had a lot going for him. You don't want to know what that does to a family. For the past four years it's been tearing that family apart. So excuse me if I feel no sympathy for you since you don't want help.
-
Blah blah blah
-
Dude I am 50 years old. I have been where you are more times than I can count. It is impossible to enumerate the number of times I've contemplated and attempted suicide. But I've come out on the high side of things. It is possible. Before you do anything that your spirit your friends or your family may regret please contact me. I am Earthly Voyager everywhere and not that hard to find. Please contact me if you need me
-
I hear you man. I'm at a dark place too. Know you are not alone
-
If you die you wont be able to play Destiny 2
-
[quote]I stopped going to therapy and have refused to get diagnosed. It's not really a question of "if I will commit suicide," it's more of a "when?"[/quote] Please get some help guardian. i really don't know if this is a true post or not but just coming out and telling us you are GOING to kill yourself one day no matter what, you really need to speak with someone. Even if it is a joke.
