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Edited by Joker_Karasu:
8/27/2017 4:31:35 PM
86
Destiny 2 New User Guide
In honor of Destiny 2's release in the next couple days I felt it was prudent to write a new user guide for those who are new to Destiny content releases:
Step 0: Call out of work or request time off
Step 1: Turn on the system of your choice
Step 1.5: Alcohol will be needed.
Step 2: Start Destiny 2
Step 3: Are you wearing pants? Take them off, you don't need no pants to play Destiny.
Step 4: If your children or significant other complain about your lack of pants tell them this is Destiny 2, you must be comfortable, and to either sit down, shut up and watch awesomeness personified in digital format or to leave, today, -tonight-, is about Destiny.
Step 5: Bum rush main campaign, and realize you bit off much more than you can chew.
Step 6: Go on the Destiny board on Bungie.net and praise/criticize the main campaign's plot. (I.E. Too much damn story!!!1!1!111)
Step 7: Come to the realization that you've been playing for hours, to the point where you lost track of time, it's almost dawn, and you should probably go to sleep but say f that; You took time off of work and Destiny 2 is out, break night and keep playing.
Step 8: Fall asleep within 20 minutes in orbit with controller in hand.
Step 9: Wake up a couple hours later and realize that everyone has left to go to school/work and you look like a total and complete psycho due to being pant-less and sleep deprived, with a stain on your shirt that you can't account for. To top all that off you spilled your beer/soda on the brand new wood panel floor you just bought and you should probably clean that up before the wife gets home and she kills you and then probably go to sleep.
Step 10: Dream about the next step of that quest you're working on.
English
#destiny2
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Step 343: ...wait, how did I end up here?!
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1 ReplyEdited by M1ghtyMowwse: 8/27/2017 8:19:12 PMVery helpful... I didn't know about the pants LOL P.S. I NEVER spill my booze... that's alcohol abuse!!!
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Dont ask offtopic or gaming about your D2 questions.
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2 RepliesIs this your autobiography?
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1 ReplyEdited by MightyJonE: 8/31/2017 6:28:50 PMYour post needs a little fine tuning 1. Turn on the system of your choice 2. Boot up game 3. Get persistent online errors 4. Write irate forum topic WTF BUNGIE - FIX YOUR BROKEN SERVERS
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4 RepliesWait a minute........were you peekin in my window for the start of D1? That's almost to the tee except for the pants thing... I went commando! Only problem is when you start to sweat in your leather gaming chair and try to get up for a refill but the boys are stuck to the seat!!![spoiler]there maybe some satire involved!! My wife would sh*t a green Twinkie if she saw me naked in my gaming chair![/spoiler]
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26 RepliesEdited by Uprisen Phoenix: 8/27/2017 7:06:56 PMInstructions not clear enough. Dick stuck in Xbox.
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1 ReplyLucky for me its my day off, same with thursday
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1 ReplyStep 11: Call your therapist and cancel your appointment...
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LOL this pretty much sums up my D2 launch night... On the 5th, get home from work at 6pm. Take dogs out for a walk. Eat dinner. Head to bed. Wife will wake me at 11:30pm. I'll get snacks, drinks etc and head to the man cave. Remove clothing and put on my Destiny 2 shirt. May wear shorts... most likely, i'll be in my undercrackers. I'll turn the PS4 on, join the Party with my buddies... make sure D2 has been updated. Start it up a few mins before... then spam the shit out of that Play button ;) Sometime in the night, i'll just go to sleep... then up at 7:30am - breakfast - I'm working from home 6th and 7th... which means Destiny time! So i'll log into my work at 8:30am and whammo - back to Destiny 2 :D
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Step 1: "accidentally" injured at work... that way you get workers comp and time to actually make a dent.
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25 Replies1. If you call in to work to play a video game then you have issues. 2. If you need to remove your pants it's probably because you are a sweaty and obese neckbeard and it's not the pants that are making you uncomfortable, it's your disgusting body.
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......why must I work the 6th? To make it even worse... [spoiler]I also work the 7th O_O!!!![/spoiler]
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Does anyone know when the servers are gonna go up for d2 me and my friend have the day off and we plan to try to play for as long as possible
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Lol now that is funny
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[quote]In honor of Destiny 2's release in the next couple days I felt it was prudent to write a new user guide for those who are new to Destiny content releases: Step 0: Call out of work or request time off Step 1: Turn on the system of your choice Step 1.5: Alcohol will be needed. Step 2: Start Destiny 2 Step 3: Are you wearing pants? Take them off, you don't need no pants to play Destiny. Step 4: If your children or significant other complain about your lack of pants tell them this is Destiny 2, you must be comfortable, and to either sit down, shut up and watch awesomeness personified in digital format or to leave, today, -tonight-, is about Destiny. Step 5: Bum rush main campaign, and realize you bit off much more than you can chew. Step 6: Go on the Destiny board on Bungie.net and praise/criticize the main campaign's plot. (I.E. Too much damn story!!!1!1!111) Step 7: Come to the realization that you've been playing for hours, to the point where you lost track of time, it's almost dawn, and you should probably go to sleep but say f that; You took time off of work and Destiny 2 is out, break night and keep playing. Step 8: Fall asleep within 20 minutes in orbit with controller in hand. Step 9: Wake up a couple hours later and realize that everyone has left to go to school/work and you look like a total and complete psycho due to being pant-less and sleep deprived, with a stain on your shirt that you can't account for. To top all that off you spilled your beer/soda on the brand new wood panel floor you just bought and you should probably clean that up before the wife gets home and she kills you and then probably go to sleep. Step 10: Dream about the next step of that quest you're working on.[/quote] It's just a damn game u losers. Get some life turds
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17 RepliesNo alcohol will be needed, don't drink. There is much better ways to relax without a hangover or killing your liver
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1 ReplyStep 11. Take advantage of your pantless state to do some monkey spanking, since your wife probably isn't going to give you any for quite awhile after your prior antics.
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2 RepliesFun how many here got adhd not reading the op. Next 2 days, he was talking of the pc demo. You guys are dumb or what
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20 RepliesToo bad I'm 15, and my first day of school is the exact day before D2 comes out. No days off, no alcohol, and my parents only let me play one hour every day (max 1:40)
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2 RepliesStupid, atention beging post... [spoiler]muted[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyThings To do on September 6: 1. Drop kids to school. 2. Go to Best Buy and obtain pre- order copy of Destiny 2. 3. Drive home 4. Change attire to comfort mode ( T - Shirts and underpants) 5. Fire up PS4, insert D2 disc 6. Wait for PS4 to install game. 7. Play D2 until it's time again to pick up kids. 8. Repeat # 3 9. Eat Dinner 10. Do some chores until 9 pm. Put Kids to sleep @ 8 pm. 11. Repeat # 4 12. Play until 2 am
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Lol - September 6 is booked. No work for me...... ;o)
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4 RepliesClick This! You won't be disappointed!!! https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/230292018/0/0
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Don't forget the catheter saves trips to the rest room.
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I have a few days off already during release and I'll be sparking my blunt and hopefully falling in love with the music and art.
