As a theology major studying to be a pastor, let me try to help you here. The version of predestination you are discussing was a misunderstanding of the teachings of Calvin. While I can only give you my understanding of predestination, I hope this helps. In simple terms (as a short post does not do this justice) God knows everything, including whether we will accept or reject His offer. He extends grace to everyone, but He knows if you will refuse. He offers the grace anyways. As for the wrath section, the wrath is not directed at people, but rather at sin. Sin is the very opposite of God, and it cannot exist in His presence. His very nature demands that He eradicates sin, but He grants us a long time to accept His mercy. After this time is up, however, God must, as the just judge, punish sin. Since sin cannot exist in His presence, someone who sins is separated from Him, and sin leads others to do the same, doubting God or turning from Him, leading to others being separated from God. Because of this, it is a very serious crime, as the one who commits it is affecting the eternal destiny of another. On the flip side, the only people who are punished are those who refuse His grace. Everyone has the opportunity to accept Him, and so no one is forced into Hell. It is always a choice. God even gives a choice to those who have never heard of Him (the theology behind this last statement is a rather lengthy discussion, so I will spare you the details).