'Twas the night before dawning, so I'll enter stage right,
To spread Christmas cheer, and bring joy for the night.
With presents to open, and some new things to find,
Will it all contain fun, or just more pointless grind?
The dawning is coming, and it's more of the same,
Pointless quest markers, and masks that are lame.
With lackluster vision, and idea's long since spent,
You can count yourself lucky, if this game you did rent.
There'll be snow at the tower, the farm, just the same,
But no-one's been there, since the finished campaign.
Snowballs and hockey, will make us all feel much better,
And dawning themed garbage, will be the new meta.
There's a new winter milestone, now won't that be grand?
Grind same boring strikes, for themed armour, so bland.
I'm sure there'll be reskins, and they'll sound so sincere,
When they give you your old stuff, and call it new gear.
Without sparrows to race, at this time of goodwill,
You can save lamentations, for a league of no skill.
There'll be no horn from Santa, that dream is dismantled,
'Cause bungie don't like fun, so racing's been cancelled.
The store is all prepped, and we know you're all keen,
So spend your bright dust, or throw money, at screen.
You can grind all you like, to earn all the best stuff,
Well really, you can't, 'cause we gave dupes a buff.
Just purchase more silver, right here at the store,
It will fund your free content, we've told you before.
But that new big expansion, you await with breath baited,
It will cost forty dollars, not free, as we'd stated.
The Vex make their plans, and our light they may smother,
With our dawning emotes, we just dance with each other.
Showing all our sweet moves, Vex retreat in confusion,
They don't know that our gear, is no more than illusion.
In emperors new clothes, we parade through the tower,
Cosmetic and shallow, they offer zero more power.
Show off to your friends, with your brand new old gun,
Shame when I squeeze the trigger, it don't fire no fun.
Let's kick off this quest, and visit Master Rahool,
We can run back and forth, like a blind and dumb fool.
From here we'll be asked, to go and talk to Cayde six,
And Bungie, once more, are using all their old tricks.
Backward and forward, swapping this thing for that,
Beam down to each planet, with cosmetic transmat.
They'll send you to Sloane, and then back to Banshee,
Traveling here back to there, counts as content you see.
Come covet new stock, Tess now has in her store,
For silver, for silver, you can have so much more.
Grind more of those engrams, In the hope of one drop,
But don't grind too hard, 'cause your xp they'll crop.
The dawning is here, but just please make it stop,
We don't want to spend, at your Eververse shop.
A more engaging event, is what we all hope to see,
With more story, more challenge, and all of it free.
Now it's time to depart, for my bad verse is ending,
I might see you all later, perhaps, if I'm trending.
Eyes up all you guardians, take heed of my warning,
It's one more cash grab, the event, called The Dawning.
English
#destiny2
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1 ReplySick poem but better and meta don’t rhyme :(
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3 RepliesA C+ for effort, a tissue for your tears, and a chuckle at your expense for thinking anybody cares that you don't enjoy Destiny. My only question is, how many hours did you spend today in a crucible fireteam bitching in vchat about the game you hate so much? 3-4?
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I love this. It's so true it hurts.
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Wouldnt be a Destiny pre-event day without a poem
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Nice! very clever!! :)
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How much time did you put into this? Dang, I can only make a few lines. Then I'll probably give up and listen to Megalovania or something.
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1 ReplyTwas the night before the dawning, all the forum posts in my sight, Bungie can't implement shit try as they might, But as a saddened soul looking for pleasure, Out come Bl4de Runner UK's treasure, With the most spot on and interesting posts, To you my friend I offer a toast, As we wait to experience the spectacle we read, Bungie takes a break all out of greed, With no work to mess with their pay, I sit with my mouth agape and scream "that's -blam!-ing gay!" But I still wait for the event called the dawning, Although...it should honestly be changed to the Yawning.
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2 RepliesWait are you the same guy who made that other one about curse of osiris?!
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Wholesome user BL4DE RUNNER UK
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That moment when this guy spent more time on a roast than Bungie did for anything in Destiny 2
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3 RepliesYou've miscalculated, guardian, such unfortunate timing For come first light morrow, Bungies sure to nerf rhyming
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24 RepliesAnother poem by this guy, Who thinks he's so funny. If he was here now, I'd punch him right in his tummy. People like this who nonstop complain, Should be strung up by their ears, And beaten with chains. They cry about weapons that don't have any perks, Then they cry when that weapon they got gets nerfed. They all claim that D1 was so great, But if you checked the forums last year, That's just GR8 B8 M8. So if you don't like the game, Why the hell you still here? Making poems about it It's just pretty weird. One last suggestion before I am done. Get the -blam!- off these forums and go play D1.
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1 ReplyAre you enoying this special event eververse scam, guys? 😂
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Your rhyme rustled jimmies. The BDF is alive. So run for cover BL4DE RUNNER. You've woken the Hive!
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Phaggot
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2 RepliesTower is beautiful! Haven't played in a while but do like these events, liked 'em in D2. There is zero need to buy stuff to be able to enjoy it. *smacks snowball in OP's face* *OP is not amused* *wahine smacks Rahool in the face* Both wahine and OP jump off the ledge taking Lady Eververse with them. A loud cheer is heard from the Tower all the way to Old Russia.
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25 RepliesYeah yeah yeah...the parts I read were good but if you're not playing Destiny now you are missing out!! MAYHEM IS BACK!!! Holy crap it's intense!!! A lot of cool new gear and fun activities. Do yourself a favor [u]get over yourself[/u] buy some silver play The Dawning now!! ... or just continue to sit in the corner and pout, your call but you're missing out!!
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I love these poems. Great job!
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Is anyone else reading the replies as if they were poems.
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1 ReplyI'm not the only one who thinks your poems were only funny the first time. Please stop.
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Dawning. What a rip.
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Brilliant. Again. You should work for Hallmark or Moonpig or something.
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https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/240678408/0/0
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9 Repliestwas the night before anything and to our surprise an unoriginal post by Blade met our eyes A hobbled up rant with no provocation making us groan across the nation we need you not so go back to D1 and maybe there you'll have some fun and don't bother us for liking D2 just for the reason that it's not for you Happy Holidays Everyone!
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14 RepliesDid not read this FYI But damn u a freaking [b]TRY HARD[/b] with all that effort on some [b]meaningless post[/b] just for your [b]5 seconds of Bungie Destiny 2 forum fame[/b] [spoiler][b]SAD[/b][/spoiler]
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3 RepliesShow off to your friends YOUR BRAND NEW OLD GUN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 SHAME IT DOESN'T FIRE FUN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂