Similar to the annual dictionary contests, add, remove, or substitute only one letter in a perk to change it, then write the description of the new perk.
My entry:
Hot Package: Damaging an enemy with this weapon passes them the hot potato and causes damage over time until they damage an enemy.
Edit: a lot of great replies and creativity shown in the forums, nearly an all-positive thread with little or no trolling or hate! It is a niracle (near-miracle) for this forum... That makes me extremely happy.
Some of my personal favorites:
Geoff Edwards
Blank: A short distance teleport that leaves all your shotgun ammo behind. (This was the very first reply to this thread)
Saint Victorious
Wolfpack Hounds: When fired, calls forth the hounds. (Made me think of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons)
Zephyr
Pot Swap: :switching weapons near allies grants a brief smokescreen in your area. (Puff, puff, pass)
Inverted Cat
Shoot to Boot: Shooting Teammates with this weapon automatically sends them back to orbit.
(Talk about unfriendly fire...)
SKTheChef
Spray and Pay: Every shot costs glimmer.
Anomolous147
Hidden Band - plays a little jingle every time you get a kill
Axiive
Extended Sag: Guardian's balls are extremely more noticeable, male exclusive gender perk (Great for tea-bagging)
XDVarenkor
Mida Multi-cool - freeze enemies with successive shots.
Mida Multi-toil - work harder for your kills.
Weeding Frenzy - makes farming more productive.
Feanauro
Third Ewe — Enemies look like sheep while aiming down this weapon's sights.
crypto connect
Army of done: ressurects all the players who said they were quitting destiny in to your own personal army (Most OP of all suggested perk changes)
GRAN APHOTIA
Fluster Bombs: Shells split into flowery compliments upon impact, thoroughly embarrassing the enemy.
Wolf Pack
Hank Burn : Gives you a chance against propain
WildGringo
Raise The Sun: Take time out of this dangerous battle to raise an infant star you found and allow it to grow into a Red Giant.
xNERFxHERDERx
Super Hood Advice: shots fired that miss the target return to the magazine bow bow bow bow bitch I'm bustin at em
Cool Pretzel
Hidden Han: You will always shoot first. (And may thine enemies always have the gun skill of Greedo)
Tech Ronin
Weeper of the Pack: Each time you are killed by Thorn a post is made on the forum in your name bitching about it.
(TechRonin submitted a bunch of great ones, this was my favorite)
Keep 'em coming, and look through for your favorites, a ton of good stuff in this thread.)
English
#Destiny
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[b]Final Ground:[/b] Grants damage boost after standing in place for 30 seconds.
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[b]Secret Sound:[/b] Amplifies ambient sounds (this includes loot crates).
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Edited by Neytir: 8/22/2015 11:29:10 AM[b]Not Bound By Flaw:[/b] Wearing this while using a nerfed weapon reverts all nerfs applied to said weapon.
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Keeper of the Sack - Players you revive cradle your scrotum until you return to orbit.
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Edited by Neytir: 8/22/2015 11:26:39 AM[b]Glared Magwell:[/b] You have a chance of being blinded when reloading. [b]Blared Magwell:[/b] Getting killed while reloading plays a sad airhorn sound.
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Cluck in the Chamber: One random bullet in the magazine will detonate into a swarm of angry Zelda chickens
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HurseBringer Fire hundreds of hurses at your enemy, this gun will be OP.
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7 RepliesEdited by Monument: 8/21/2015 5:14:55 PMDuck in the Chamber One random bullet in a magazine will make a quacking sound when it hits the enemy. Spray and Pray Only found on Super Good Advice. Your stability drops to zero, and your fire rate becomes max. Hidden Sand Enhanced ground acquisition. Fluster Bombs Shells split into flowery compliments upon impact, thoroughly embarrassing the enemy.
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Edited by JHarv: 8/22/2015 2:39:48 AMNerfect Balance Because we can't give you increased stability without decreasing another stat you need..
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3 Replies[b][u]Shoot to Toot:[/u][/b] Shooting an enemy makes a random fart noise with a small green cloud with a DoT effect.
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Keeper of the Pack changed to Weeper of the Pack [b]Weeper of the Pack[/b] = Each time you are killed by Thorn a post is made on the forum in your name bitching about it.
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Accelerated Coils changed to Accelerated Toils [b]Accelerated Toils:[/b] Having this weapon equipped allows you to receive drops from raids twice, but guarantees you will get shards.
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Focused Fire changed to Focused Ire [b]Focused Ire:[/b] This weapon's damage increases exponentially as your rage increases.
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Reforge Ready changed to Deforge Ready [b]Deforge Ready:[/b] This gun can be dismantled by the Gunsmith for extra Weapon Parts and/or Motes.
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3 RepliesEdited by Nanye: 8/22/2015 9:35:20 AMMulligan into [b][i]Fulligan.[/i][/b] Missing a shot has a chance to refill the entire magazine. Or Drastically increases magazine size, and lowers reload signifigently. Landing all precision shots has a chance to fill all/some of your abilities. [spoiler]Sounds like full-again.[/spoiler]
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Feeding Frenzy changed to Seeding Frenzy [b]Seeding Frenzy:[/b] Increases seed planting speed. Works well with Weeding Frenzy.
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Phantom Gift changed to Phantom Rift [b]Phantom Rift[/b] = Precision kills teleport you behind the nearest enemy
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Wolf Hack Rounds After missile detonation, everyone in the lobby gets an error code.
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Single Point Sling changed to Single Point Fling [b]Single Point Fling[/b] = All Stats are dramatically increased for one match only then the gun is automatically dismantled and you have to go to the hunter bar in the tower to pick up another.
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1 ReplyBlown Cartridge Reloading this weapon has a chance to remove all ammo from your reserve
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"[b]Mend It[/b]" Fixes all the f-ed up crap Bungie ignored. Also adds an actual story to the game.
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1 Reply"[b]Rice Breaker[/b]" Makes your Honda explode.
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Edited by Nobody: 8/22/2015 8:39:52 AMF u c k in the chamber. Kinda self explanatory.
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Born Brighter: Activating Radiance from death immediately restores a great amount of super energy.
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6 RepliesEdited by Butthurt Hunter: 8/21/2015 9:54:53 PM[b]White Fail[/b] Killing three [b]-Redacted- [/b]rapidly will remove a white knight
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-blam!- in the chamber