Similar to the annual dictionary contests, add, remove, or substitute only one letter in a perk to change it, then write the description of the new perk.
My entry:
Hot Package: Damaging an enemy with this weapon passes them the hot potato and causes damage over time until they damage an enemy.
Edit: a lot of great replies and creativity shown in the forums, nearly an all-positive thread with little or no trolling or hate! It is a niracle (near-miracle) for this forum... That makes me extremely happy.
Some of my personal favorites:
Geoff Edwards
Blank: A short distance teleport that leaves all your shotgun ammo behind. (This was the very first reply to this thread)
Saint Victorious
Wolfpack Hounds: When fired, calls forth the hounds. (Made me think of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons)
Zephyr
Pot Swap: :switching weapons near allies grants a brief smokescreen in your area. (Puff, puff, pass)
Inverted Cat
Shoot to Boot: Shooting Teammates with this weapon automatically sends them back to orbit.
(Talk about unfriendly fire...)
SKTheChef
Spray and Pay: Every shot costs glimmer.
Anomolous147
Hidden Band - plays a little jingle every time you get a kill
Axiive
Extended Sag: Guardian's balls are extremely more noticeable, male exclusive gender perk (Great for tea-bagging)
XDVarenkor
Mida Multi-cool - freeze enemies with successive shots.
Mida Multi-toil - work harder for your kills.
Weeding Frenzy - makes farming more productive.
Feanauro
Third Ewe — Enemies look like sheep while aiming down this weapon's sights.
crypto connect
Army of done: ressurects all the players who said they were quitting destiny in to your own personal army (Most OP of all suggested perk changes)
GRAN APHOTIA
Fluster Bombs: Shells split into flowery compliments upon impact, thoroughly embarrassing the enemy.
Wolf Pack
Hank Burn : Gives you a chance against propain
WildGringo
Raise The Sun: Take time out of this dangerous battle to raise an infant star you found and allow it to grow into a Red Giant.
xNERFxHERDERx
Super Hood Advice: shots fired that miss the target return to the magazine bow bow bow bow bitch I'm bustin at em
Cool Pretzel
Hidden Han: You will always shoot first. (And may thine enemies always have the gun skill of Greedo)
Tech Ronin
Weeper of the Pack: Each time you are killed by Thorn a post is made on the forum in your name bitching about it.
(TechRonin submitted a bunch of great ones, this was my favorite)
Keep 'em coming, and look through for your favorites, a ton of good stuff in this thread.)
English
#Destiny
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Duck in the chamber - One random bullet in the magazine will jam and be replaced with a 'quack' sound [spoiler]this was copied from a similar thread[/spoiler]
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Edited by ROOSTABALLS: 8/25/2015 12:54:41 PM[b]SNAPSHIT[/b] Precision kills with this weapon will cause enemies to explode....from their anus.
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String of Nurses: Female guardians revive you faster. Each revive initiates a secret locked-on-disc cutscene dream-sequence. Rain Flows: Increases freestyle rhyme speed. Your Titan becomes the sixth best rapper of all time, behind Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan.
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String of Purses: Each kill fills a purse with cash and provides more super energy.
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Fad JuJu Turns your Guardian into a hipster. Changes all shaders to plaid.
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Gift of the Fun Blink recharges when you hit the ground
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Inal Round because it sounds like Anal Round.
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Aggressive Lunch: Your lunch will be interrupted by a firefight at some point in the next month. Cattle Runner: Become a Border Collie and herd the other team into one control zone for a titan to smash. Casket Fag: Cigarette that kills you instantly upon smoking it. Luck in the Hamper: Find 30% more money every time you do your laundry
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Sandal Burn: With each step you take you regret your previous decision to purchase these sandals that rub against your feet everything you step. Slowly drains health with each step and your feet explode if you're not on earth. WHY WOULD YOU WEAR SANDALS ON TO THE MOON?
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2 RepliesMake A Knee- You simply make a knee.
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1 ReplyFinal Pound: Gives you the motivation to stop gaining weight and start losing weight
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Shank turn: it's a turning shank
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-blam!- in the chamber - kills with this weapon turns victim into a dominatrix
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Firefry: killing an enemy with a precision shot causes them to turn into a giant French fry
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2 RepliesEdited by LegionofSlime: 8/23/2015 4:03:41 AMSuper hood advice : getting a kill activates ghetto advice
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Shitenail: Scratching your ass 3 times in a row leaves a surprise on your nail.
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Single Joint Sling: Roll joints faster. Reduces wait time for you Raid team at every checkpoint.
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Hammer Forger: Hunters and Warlocks can use Hammer of Sol when equipped.
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Grenade rooster - your grenades turn into explosive chickens!!!
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Rocket Infinity Automatic laser rockets Bungie to op pls nerf
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4 RepliesEdited by Yodas Ghost: 8/23/2015 12:59:58 AM[b]Wolf Sack Rounds:[/b] Gjallarhorn rockets explode into clusters of wolf testicles that do no damage but cause enemies to gag on said testicles preventing shield regen and special abilities. Example: Shooting multiple Gjallarhorns at Crota takes his shields down and wolf sack rounds keep him from getting up because he's too busy gagging on wolf testes.
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1 Replyweeds of ruin -While waering this armor Ur Dealer Take all Ur money fireball-irenball Holding this Weapon gives u 2 Iron balls Hard Fight sometimes lost all ammo and player need to meele
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1 ReplyWolf Pack Sounds - when you fire, there is a howling noise
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3 RepliesHidden Hank Kills with this weapon encourage you to use propane and propane accessories.
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The Past Word (upgrade): Shoots an extra bullet randomly twice in each mag costing you to lag a bit. (DEEEEEEJ!!!!!)
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Dreg bun - kills with this weapon instantly bake bread with a secret ingredient... Dregs