TL;DR

Thanks longface, I looked like a psychopath at work today cause I kept remembering bits of this story and laughing to myself

What the -blam!- did I just read?

there will be a "Today" show special report on that cave. they'll go in there with blue lights which will show all the nasty stains on the rock and the walls that Bungie tried to clean up.

"about the size of a room" Dude you seriously need to learn how to write better.

Muted this guy ages ago he's still 28. Just a forum troller. Soulless

It's entirely possible that the Cave Captain was a woman. After all, Amazons aren't as rare as you may think they are.

[quote]The wind whipped against my face and the ground rushed underneath me as my sparrow whined across the ruins of old Russia. The rusty carcasses of old airplanes littered the fields, partially buried by hundreds of years of sand and dirt. My sparrow caught a wing of one of these planes and jumped off of it like a ramp. For a few seconds, I was flying through the air, then my belly began to tickle as gravity pulled me back to the ground. The mysterious energies inside my sparrow allowed for a smooth landing, then I continued to zip across our forgotten history. But then something caught my eye. There was a mysterious cave up in the face of a cliff. I couldn't climb to it, but an upward airplane wing was not too far from it. It could be used to reach the cave if I got enough speed. Who knows? There might be more lost loot in this cave. I oriented my sparrow from a distance, pointed towards the wing, and accelerated as fast as I could. I hit the wing, drove up it, and jumped through the air.....no good, my sparrow wasn't going to make it. At the last second, I lept off my ride, gaining extra height. My sparrow crashed into the cliff and went up in flames, but I was thrown into the cave. After tumbling a few times, I got up and re-oriented myself. It was a small cave, about the size of a room. In the middle of the cave there was a rock. On top of the rock there was a Fallen captain and a shank. The shank saw me and began to chirp. It aimed its weapon at me, but exploded before it could fire a shot. I wasn't sure I believed what I had just seen. The fallen captain had shot his own robot. It was then that I noticed he wasn't wearing a top. His broad masculine chest was exposed to the air, and he was laying back on the rock in a sexy pose, the gun in one of his arms still smoking, His lower arm rested on his thigh. The arms on the other side of him were used to prop up his head, and the other, was beckoning me to come to him. I thought I heard a low "purring" sound coming from him, echoing off the cave walls. Intrigued, I cautiously moved towards him. He indicated that I should lay right next to him. I couldn't help but be charmed by his confidence. So I lay next to him. He clicked his mouth together and ran a hand through my hair, gently raking my scalp with his claws, and tickling the back of my neck. I couldn't stifle the giggle that had come out of my mouth. I felt a heat rushing up to my cheeks as I blushed. The captain raked his claws through my hair again. With his other arms, he began to rubs his hands down my sides affectionately. He pulled me close and it was then that I noticed how handsome he was. Alien and strange, yes, but handsome. His four eyes glowed with a beautiful blue energy, the hairs that surrounded the hedges of his carapace shone in the beam of sunlight that poured through the cave's entrance. I didn't know his name, but I knew that I was quickly falling in love with him. He reached a hand towards his face and stroked behind his head. His eyes squinted and he began to purr louder, clicking his jaws. He cupped the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss. It was warm and wet, 3 tongues began to intertwine with mine. He held me in all 4 of his big strong arms and I immediately felt safer than I ever had before. Nobody found us that day, nobody found us the day after that, or the day after that. Every day I would come back to my cave captain and spend time with him. He would sometimes give me gifts that he had scrounged up. Other times he would give me raw materials. It was pure bliss. I wish I had known his name....I wish there wasn't a language barrier to hinder our communication. But then again I guess the only communication we need is to be held in eachother's arms. But one day, I returned to the cave...and he wasn't there. Instead, a cryptic message had been scratched into the wall. "This is not how we envisioned you playing our game. -DeeJ "[/quote] that's disturbing. What would be more disturbing if it's a dude masquerading as a female character

Hey long face, Great post and all, but a few buddies and myself sat down and had a quick discussion about the location of that guy and... Did you know he's in old Russia? Our turf? Yeah... Sorry buddy, but we went out there to ask him to leave politely, he struggled for our guns and well... We put him down for good. Real sorry for your loss, but hey, you can always replace him. Thousands of fallen captains all over the place. It's like a zoo full of them. Better get one quick though, because they sure do drop into endangered status with the rest of us guardians exterminating them for being on our front porch all the time. Oh and as for deej, I'm going to place a wild bet he doesn't really care how we choose to entertain ourselves. He might, but last I checked, typical community managers care about other things. Not the rantings of a user who should be in off topic more then destiny forums. Ciao.

I feel ............like I need a shower and then I need to poke a knitting needle into my brain to try and destroy the area where this memory is contained.

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