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12/15/2017 7:59:54 AM
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Best copy pastas

That's ride mother -blam!-ers, your best copy pasta's below, send em all. Mine is: You may be onto something here. Memes used to be simple. Relatable. Worth a chuckle. Then they evolved. New formats, new tag lines, new content that was then turned into a new meme. Then memes became increasingly meta and self reflective. They parodied themselves and the users who both made them and consumed them. They built off of one another. They grew. They morphed into something entirely novel. This progressed to the point where even that wasn't enough. They had to become something more than themselves. They became surreal. They became deep fried and nuked. Each flavor building off of the last and transforming into a nearly intangible, unknown entity. Art progressed in a similar fashion. Started off simple, I'm talking cave drawing simple. Then some pottery and some small abstract sculptures. Subjects everyone could relate to and understand. Then, as technology allowed for the creation of cultures and societies, art began to reflect that change and it evolved along with it. By the Ancient Greeks and Romans, art had become a more advanced version of the Stone and Bronze Age arts. Better drawings, paintings, and the addition of mosaics. Sculptures eventually shifted from stylistic expression to naturalistic representation. Still accessible to everyone, yet more nuanced and complex. After the fall of Rome art stagnated and didn't change very much for nearly a millennium. Early Christian art dominated for the most part, consisting of murals and frescos and simple statues. All of which were based on the Ancient styles. Romanesque and Gothic art also built upon these precedents. This all changed when the Renaissance attacked. A cultural explosion changed the art world forever; arguably starting with the Italian artist, Giotto. He began using techniques like foreshortening and linear perspective so that the material world could be represented as it appeared to us. A callback to the naturalistic stylings of the Greeks. Almost like a reference to the days of yore. A celebration of how art used to be, but with the explosion of new techniques and technologies, the art grew increasingly diverse. New and improved frescoes, meticulously crafted sculptures, architectural marvels and the inclusion of new materials in these works. Instead of tempera, oil was introduced along with new styles of depicting light and shadow through sfumato and chiaroscuro. These techniques and stylistic changes, while impressive, were simply an advancement of pre established art. The Renaissance paved the way for the explosion and diversification of dozens of art movements that followed. From prehistoric art to the end of the Renaissance, art was mostly about the same subjects and used similar techniques to accomplish the goal of producing a work of art. Yes, the technical proficiency exponentially improved but considering the centuries in between, few true advancements were made. Compare this to memes. They were so simple at first and really were nothing more. Then they got better. More technical. More circumstantial. More media to create them with. But memes could last years or many months before dying off. As time went on, the longevity of a meme shortened. This is paralleled in the art world. After the Renaissance the Baroque period started. Then the Neo-Classicism, Romantic, Realism, and Impressionism movements not long after. Still utilizing the same technical process but the reasoning behind the movements changed. No longer was it about simply depicting the world around us, it was about prompting the viewer to consider new thoughts and ideas. Urging them to look past the image and think deeper about meaning and context. Pushing the boundaries of what art could be. The Baroque to Impressionism era spanned roughly 300 years. Compare that to the thousands of years between archaic art and the Renaissance. It was a huge explosion of self expression. Finally, in the mid to late 19th century starting with Post-Impressionism, Modern art emerged. This movement focused on self-consciousness, self-reference, introspection, existentialism, and even nihilism. I'm talking Fauvism, Cubism, Futurism, Dada, Abstract Expressionism, and Surrealism to name the most well known. These styles changed what art could be. They were no longer about depicting life as is, or layering a painting with hidden motifs for only the privileged to understand, they were in and of themselves absurd. Abstract shapes, aggressive lines and colors, nonsensical dreamscapes. But it didn't stop there. Post-modernism. Pushing art to the limit of its potential. Pop art, Conceptual art, Minimalism, Fluxus, Installation art, Lowbrow art, Performance art, Digital art, Earth art. These movements are about skepticism, irony, rejecting grand narratives and reason and instead embracing the idea that knowledge and truth are the result of social, historical, and political discourse and subsequently are a subjective, social construct. It's irreverent and self-referential. It's avant-garde pushed to 11. But what's next? Post-postmodernism? Metamodernism? Hypermodernity? Who knows? Only time will tell. This is where memes are headed. They started off slow but have picked up so much momentum they're evolving at an exponential pace. They used to hang around for a couple years at most. Then it turned to months. Then maybe only one month. Suddenly it was a week tops. While some particularly great memes do still stick around much like the masterpieces of art in the past, new memes are created every day, every few hours. New movements of memes are being created all the time. Anti-memes. Dank memes. Abstract memes. Wholesome memes. Surreal memes. Deep fried memes. Nuked memes. Even black hole memes, time travel, and dimensional memes are now a reality. What's going to happen next? A return to the classics? A new format so brilliant it steals all our hearts and then starts a whole new movement? I'm excited for the future of memes. TL; DR: Memes imitate art, art imitates life. And most importantly we must always remember--- I mean 🅱️e 🅱️oo 🅱️hanks lol
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  • I am both for first year and second gone by seven and 8 grimoire the campfire next to cogjak. Will Cary over? Especially maxtu errant cards like Sleeper Sulaman. I hope. Forever since release both me and 7 people crossed pools, death bridges, and red light district gas stations ro reach game stop before. D too will salivate twice as good as all before. I can't wait!

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  • GAME DESTINY JA DOES YEARS I DO NOT HAVE ANY HEAVY WEAPON OF THE YEAR 1 JA MAKES THE END OF CROTA AND CRYSTAL CAMERA VARIOUS AND SEVERAL TIMES AND NEVER CAME A HEAVY WEAPON, WANTED A LOT TO GJALLARHORN, MORE TO PRA DESISTI BECAUSE SHE NEVER COMES, PRISON OF THE ANCIENTS YEAR 1 I JUST DID SEVERAL TIMES ALSO AND NOW NOTHING THAT GAME TA SACANAGEM WITH MY FRIENDS JA HAVE THE HEAVY WEAPONS OF THE YEAR 1 AND I HAVE NO STILL THAT SACK BUNGIE IMPROVES TO MY REWARDS ...

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  • - [ ] [b][i][u]PEREGRINE GRIEVES!!!![/u][/i][/b] - [ ] These marvelous legs are masterfully created in white plating with gold decal and blue decorative orbs. Your knees are beautiful gems of death. They have spike attachments for aerodynamics and for show. - [ ] I know many Striker Titans out there are satisfied with their fighting style and have never even thought to equip the Greaves, but I tell you now that you have not lived until you've used them. - [ ] Nothing is more satisfying than disintegrating your foes in a flash of electricity or breaking ribs by slamming your shoulder into them, EXCEPT FOR CAVING IN SKULLS BY SHOVING YOUR KNEE INTO THEM WHILE LEAPING THROUGH THE AIR! - [ ] YOU WILL BE LIKE THE MAJESTIC PEREGRINE FALCON SOARING THROUGH THE AIR, EXCEPT THE FALCON PART IS IN YOUR LEGS! PEREGRINE FALCONS CAN DIVE THROUGH THE AIR AT SPEEDS OF OVER 180 MILES PER HOUR; YOU WILL LEAP THROUGH THE AIR AT 180 M.P.H. AND KILL YOUR PREY AS THE PEREGRINE FALCON WOULD KILL ITS OWN PREY. EXCEPT INSTEAD OF TALONS AND BEAKS YOU WILL ONLY HAVE YOUR LEGS! - [ ] YOU WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE PREDATOR AND NO BEAST WILL BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND A SINGLE BLOW FROM YOUR KNEES, not even those Defender Titans with Armor of Light active. - [ ] You will be Saitama the One Punch Man, except all of that power will be in your knees! That's right! The power of gods inside your knees! Superman will be jealous, and his invulnerability won't save him this time! - [ ] You will enter the Crucible and slaughter all of those that you couldn't Shoulder Charge before because of their sissy meta weapons (YOU HEAR THAT?! NOT EVEN THE MATADOR, CLEVER DRAGON, OR THOUSAND YARD STARE WILL KEEP YOU SAFE!). - [ ] You will burst through Bubbles and bash in the Helm of Saint-14 just as the Helm of Saint-14 was used to bash in the Devil Kell's skull! - [ ] You will fly past Golden Gun shots and show that wimp that a real man doesn't need a long ranged Super! - [ ] You will shoot through bolts of lightning and put that Stormcaller back on the ground where he belongs! - [ ] You will dodge flaming hammers and break that Sunbreaker in the forge! - [ ] You will shoot right under that Nova Bomb and show that Voidwalker what hurts worse than being hit by a collapsing star! You will not be tethered down by those Nightstalkers' lame Shadowshots and you will show them that a real man doesn't need to disable his enemies to win in a fight! You will appear out of thin air just to get a Stay Down medal on a Sunsinger because they thought you couldn't catch them twice with the same move! Guess what, still don't have enough health to survive! You will break the Arc Blades of Blade Dancers with your knees and then show them why a real man doesn't need knives to do any real damage to an enemy! You will smash your knees into the shoulders of your Striker brethren and show them why they should've worn the PEREGRINE GREAVES! You will then strike out into the universe and single-leggedly defeat the Darkness with your bedazzled legs! The Fallen will wish they hadn't left their system during the Whirlwind! The Hive will make shrines to your legs, only to have the shrines destroyed and all of them killed by the very legs they feared and worshipped! UNWORTHY! The Vex won't be able to simulate the sheer power of your legs and blow up from complete overwhelming information! The Cabal line will break and your knees will pierce the unbreakable playing of their aircraft! The Black Garden's Heart will be dead before it has a chance to wake up even one of the Sol Progeny, BUT YOU'LL DESTROY THOSE WORTHLESS VEX STATUES ANYWAY! The Oracles, Templar, and Gorgons will not be able to erase you from time because THERE IS NO FUTURE WHERE THEY SURVIVE YOUR SOARING KNEES! You will not need the Aegis Relic to defeat Atheon BECAUSE YOU WILL BASH HIS ANGULAR FACE IN EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE TIMELINE ANYWAY! SHATTER THE GLASS THRONE! You will destroy and deplete Crota's Oversoul, take out his overshield, and deplete his HP ALL IN JUST ONE HIT! You will make Skolas wish he had just given up and become the Queen's butler, obeying her every whim! STOMP THAT BUG INTO THE GROUND! KELL OF KELLS MY BOOT! You will smash a hole through the Dreadnaught since there are no Cabal ships left to do it, and you will take the Dreadnaught down single-leggedly! Oryx's Court will fall! His Warpriest will know that his cute little light-up ball doesn't work and his big helmet only made you want to slam your knee into his face more! Everyone of Golgoroth's weird wiggly leg things will be broken with ease and he will fall clutching his gut and puking out a bunch of those orb thingies, while that big scar thing on his head will be re-opened by your knee to finish him off! The Deathsingers won't be able to kill you with their song because you don't listen to their tasteless pop trash singing, and they will instead kill themselves with their song just to avoid those beautiful legs of yours! AND THAT FAT LARD ORYX WON'T JUST BE SENT DRIFTING TOWARDS SATURN, YOU'LL HIT HIM SO HARD HE'LL BLAST A HOLE STRAIGHT THROUGH THAT MOTHER -blam!-ER AND THEN FLY OUT OF THE SYSTEM! YOU'LL HIT HIM SO HARD THAT ALL OF HIS ECHOES AND TAKEN WILL BE INSTANTLY DESTROYED! Then you will deny the mantle of the Taken King because accepting the ways and power of Oryx would just make you weaker! SIVA won't be able to replicate fast enough to keep up with the amount of enemies you take out per second! You will storm the Replication Chamber and show Aksis that YOUR TWO SEXY LEGS ARE FAR SUPERIOR TO THAT COOL GIANT SPIDER LEG THING HE'S GOT GOING ON! YOU WILL BECOME STRONGER THAN THE LIGHT AND THE DARKNESS AND RULE BOTH THE CRUCIBLE AND THE UNIVERSE! PUT ON THOSE SEXY, GLAMOROUS, BEDAZZLED LEGS NOW! PERRREEEEEGGRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNE GREEEEAAAAAAAAAAVESSSSSSSSSSS!

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  • What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and -blam!- over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now, lad. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m -blam!-ing -blam!- but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding. Reply

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    • To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

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    • I hate how these are so long... note to comedians- super long, hyper detailed bs is only funny so many times... Other times it is just annoying and ensures no one will read it... Summarize better in the new age copy pastas.

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    • I mean, I've always like girls but one time me and my bf were watching sao and it was hot and his room was small so we took our shirts of and chilled on his bed. Nothing happened our hands touched and my palms got sweaty but he was a man and I was a man so nothing happened. We weren't gay. But now this new gf takes all his time he is always 2hrs late to raids and strikes and I just feel jealous, not of his body but his girlfriend am I gay? I still like women and making bbq and subscribing to the NRA. My uncle says no, my heart says no, but sometimes my palms say yes. What's going on?

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    • Edited by BurningViper 7-2: 12/15/2017 4:18:27 PM
      Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. [spoiler][b][i][u]KUPO!!!™[/u][/i][/b][/spoiler] Edit: Still my favorite.

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      • What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.

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      • Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather, he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank just outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.

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      • I say, what the devil did you just audaciously proclaim about my well-being, you trollop? I shall inform you that I have graduated top of my class at the Gentleman's Academy of Sophisticated Persons, and have been involved in numerous endeavors with the Ruffians down the street from my abode; might I also add that I've accumulated over 300 pieces of antique furniture? I am educated in fine dining and high class catering and I'm the top Victorian era furniture appraiser in the entire high society. You are naught to me but a simple, uncouth brute. I shall embarrass the dickens out of you with class the likes of which has never been witnessed before on this humble planet, I solemnly promise. You assume you can disrespect my image on the internet? Think again, savage. As we speak I am contacting my diligent secretary to arrange a brunch together at the finest coffee shop in town, so you had better prepare a fetching enough outfit to compete with my immaculate attire, barbarian. The brunch that sends you packing back to the countryside. You are inevitably defeated, heathen. I can be booked at any appointment, any hour, and I can educate you in over seven hundred cultures, and that's just with the literary selection in my guest lobby. Not only am I extensively fluent in in several languages, I have access to the entire Giorgio Armani fall collection and I will flaunt it's finely tailored mastery to outshine your drab, common appearance off the face of humanity, you slob. If only you had foreseen the kind of comeuppance your inflammatory "insignificant" comment was bound to earn you, perhaps you would have tempered your words. But you insisted, and now I will teach you manners and grace and you will learn dignity and poise, yet. Consider yourself in etiquette school, peasant.

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        • Edited by Tri1k: 12/15/2017 6:58:42 PM
          I made two here [spoiler] I have been know to say that “the definition of cold is a pool party in Antarctica with the dress code strictly Speedo’s and bikinis, and the definition of hot is flying into a volcano with hairspray on” and with my guide to temperature conditioning, you can say this as well, step 1. Get a friend, 2. Go with your friend to Costco and have him fill a cart with your favorite ice cream 3. Get a bucket and take it to the bathroom, if anyone tells you not to bring merchandise into the bathroom, put it on your head as a helmet, if they ask you why you need a helmet in the bathroom, tell them you were hit in the head by a Orana Bear (that is a cross between a orangutan and a kuala bear if you peasants didn’t know) while exploring the jungles of the Atlantic Ocean and were using the bathroom, and proceed to go to bathroom 4. Get the bucket, fill it up with cold water, and poor it on yourself until you are drenched completely (repeat as necessary) 5. Strip out of everything except the swimsuit you wore under your cloths (be sure these are drenched as well) and take the spoon you packed out of your pocket for the ice cream 6. Put the bucket back on your head 7. Walk out of bathroom casually 8. When someone comes tell you to put on clothes ignore them and yell “FOOOOORRRRR SPAAAARRRRRTTTTAAAA” as you run like a mad man to the walk in freezer where your friend will meet you 9. Proceed to eat unhealthy amount of ice cream for 63 minuets 10. Run out of freezer like a mad man 11. Yell “FOOOOOOORRRR AAAATTTTHHHHIIINNNSSS” to thoroughly confuse all bystanders who have by this time compiled to watch the fiasco 12. Run like a mad man to the deli 13. Open up doors to rotisserie chicken cooker 14. Hop in 15. Share this copy paste with 10 people, no group chats or send backs I hope this has been helpful from the bottom of my head, and as always stay safe and don’t do anything dumb Triumphant1000 out.[/spoiler] [spoiler] Waffles and pancakes, a debate as to which is better has gone on as long as debates have lasted, I have put together a list of totally true facts on the subject. Why, you may ask, did Napoleon try to take over the world? It is a little known fact but he was extremely against pancakes, his ultimate goal was to put waffles in a place of honor in the world of food. Colonial Sanders founded KFC as a museum for chicken and waffles, but found a pancake enthusiast as an investor when he wanted to franchise. Canada stands to destroy both pancakes and waffles as they prefer to drink the maple syrup by its self and see using it as a condiment a waste. Kim Jong Un has bant pancakes from the masses in North Korea for exclusively VIP use. Pancakes are also considered a delicacy in some parts of Northern Antarctica. In WWII pancakes were used as edible camouflage when going against the Orana Bears in Atlantic Jungle theatre of the war. Due to my extensive research in this area, I have come to the conclusion that chicken and pancakes with hot peppers is the best option available, preferably with a side of lobster. This meal is 5 stars and you can make it fallowing these three steps: 1. Go to the store and buy ingredients 2. Mix them together 3. Look disgusted and go to a restaurant for dinner because you did it wrong what on earth do you think you were doing you fool? [/spoiler]

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        • Once upon a time, there was a great forest, the only one in the land. One day in the forest, an acorn fell from the biggest tree in the center of the forest, and from it grew a small little tree. It was young, and still growing. The young tree was very curious, and he asked the big tree "Who are you? Where am I?" The big tree responded in a very kind and calm voice, saying "I am the Gentle Oak, the biggest and oldest tree in all this land. You are in a forest. Everyone around is a tree, just like me and you." The young little tree felt honored to be next to such a great figure, and he felt very shy. Gathering up the courage to speak again, he asked the big tree "What is my purpose as a tree? Why am I here?" The Gentle Oak, still very calm and peaceful, replied and said: "Trees supply oxygen to the world, allowing every creature to breathe. Without us, everything would die." "The young tree didn't know what the word "die" meant, so he asked the big tree "Gentle Oak, what does "die" mean? The Gentle Oak didn't want to answer this question, but he knew that the young tree would have to find out what it meant eventually. After a long pause, the Gentle Oak said: "Dieing means that you no longer have life, you no longer exist. When something dies, it doesn't come back. It's life is over." The young tree was very frightened, and said "That sounds awful!" The Gentle Oak felt sorry for the little tree, and so he said: "That's why trees have such an important job! We give oxygen to the world, so that it can live! Be proud that you're a tree, little one. Without trees, the world wouldn't be alive." The little tree felt cheered up, and he said "Well, I guess it's a good thing that we trees are here, isn't it?" The Gentle Oak, once again with his soothing voice, said "Yes little one, it's very good that we are here." After some time had past, suddenly a great yell was heard from a tree very far away, at the edge of the forest. The little tree, still very young, listened very carefully, for it was hard to hear what the tree was yelling from such a distance. After a few quiet moments, the little tree finally heard what the yell was: "Humans! The humans are coming! The humans are on their way! Humans! They are approaching!" The yelling went on like this for some time, and suddenly all the trees around gasped. They all were very frightened. The little tree was very afraid, and he asked the Gentle Oak: "Wha-what are hu-humans...? Ar-are they ba-bad...?" The Gentle Oak became worried, for the humans were very evil creatures. They always came with sharp tools named "axes", and with them they brought death and murdered innocent trees. He told the little tree, with a calm but slightly worried voice: "Humans kill trees. They are very evil and corrupt creatures." The little tree suddenly was filled with fear and sorrow, and said: "Bu-bu-but doesn't tha-that mea-mean tha-that they-they'll kill us and sto-stop us f-from ma-making ox-oxy-oxygen?" The Gentle Oak said, in a voice of sadness this time: "I'm.......I'm afraid so." Suddenly, from a distance you could hear the death of trees. Their screams of terror as they're innocent lives ended in mass. The humans slowly advanced through the entire forest, killing trees as they went. All over the forest, trees fell. The ground shook as each one hit the earthy floor. Eventually they got to the Gentle Oak and the little tree. A human approached the Gentle Oak and said something in a language that the little tree couldn't understand. All the humans around began moving towards the Gentle Oak. It seemed that they needed more than one human to cut down this tree. Just as they were about to cut down the Gentle Oak, he said one last thing to the little tree: "These humans must be stopped. Little one, if you ever figure out a way to end them all, you must do it." Then they begin slashing at the Gentle Oak. His screams of pain and horror were deep and sad, and after one last swing of an axe, his great body fell to the ground with a giant crash. It was a terrible sight. The only tree left in the entire forest was the little tree. The humans approached the little tree, and he feared for his life. He knew they were about to cut him down. But surprisingly, they didn't. The humans spoke to each other in a foreign language, and they left. He must have been too small for them to care. With them they brought the bodies of all the trees. All that remained of the forest were little stumps all over the ground, marking where the existence of innocent trees used to be. The little tree was all alone, and he was filled with the most cruel sadness possible. He wanted to end the humans, but he didn't know how. He needed to stop their evilness. Then, the little tree got an idea. He realized that if all the trees were providing oxygen, then that is what kept the humans alive. Since the little tree was the only tree left, still providing oxygen, he knew what he had to do... After he gathered up his strength, he said to the open air: "Oh great and calm Gentle Oak, if you can hear me, know that the humans are about to come to an end. I...I will end myself to stop them." With his sorrow, the little tree stopped growing. His bark became withered and grey, and his leaves fell off of his branches. His sadness had killed him. All around the world, oxygen was being breathed, but not refilled. There were no trees to produce it. After a long time had passed, there was no oxygen left. Humans and animals everywhere began dieing. One by one, their evil bodies fell. Nothing alive remained. No humans, no animals, and lastly... No trees... -The End-

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        • Edited by FelifluxMadness: 12/15/2017 8:44:58 AM
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        • [spoiler] We have been contacted by pan-dimensional higher frequency shape-shifting reptilian beings from another universe who want to WARN us of the END OF THE WORLD! They've contacted us and warned us that if we humans and sock monkeys don't heed the warnings, THE END OF THE WORLD WILL KILL US ALL! The government and logical thinkers of the world would like you to think "Hey, the end of the world, that's at least a few decades in the future, what do I care?" but they're WRONG! They want you to be lulled into a false sense of security while they prepare themselves to be saved. They want to use YOUR remains to keep THEM alive! Even the shadow governments, men in black, women in black and sock monkeys in black are doing all they can to keep this quiet so THEY will survive and YOU will DIE!. Luckily for us, pan-dimensional higher frequency reptilian beings from another universe have sensed our doom and have worked hard to contact us so we can warn you all. Only those that obey their instructions and prepare themselves to be lifted to the universe of the pan-dimensional higher frequency shape-shifting reptilian beings. Only those that obey will live for decades without the fear of their world coming to an end. Pan-dimensional higher frequency shape-shifting reptilian beings from another universe have been helping humans and monkeys for thousands of years, from the ancient Egyptians to that guy who needed help last week in Sweden. THEY helped some dinosaurs escape destruction on the earth millions of years ago and now they want to help us! THEY are who taught us to bang rocks together to make funky sounds for dancing to! This has even been predicted by Nostradamus and others! Only NOW does it make sense IF we PAY ATTENTION and OBEY! "Bad things will happen." - Nostradamus "Bad things will happen." - Einstein "Bad things will happen." - Emperor of Japan "Bad things will happen." - The Sphinx "Bad things will happen." - John Locke Warning signs & ways to save yourself : A bright object will appear in the sky. A bright object will appear in the sky (to the east) and seem to move across the sky (towards the west) until it disappears. Then it will hide for a number of hours, and re-appear. What to do : When it does appear, be sure to stare straight at it and send your energy towards it so it doesn't’t hit the earth. You will feel thirsty. What to do : When you feel thirsty, do NOT drink. Only drink when you DON’T feel thirsty. This thirst is a symptom from the bright object, trying to distract you from channeling your energy so it can smash into the earth while you’re off looking for a glass of water. The number 4/four. What to do : Don't use ANYTHING that has the number 4 in it or around it. If there are four objects, destroy the fourth and channel its negative energy away from you. 4 is the secret number used by evil inter-dimensional higher frequency beings and shadow governments to control our world and everyone on it. It doesn't matter if it's written out as four, or in a number as 4. Water. Get at least 2000km away from any water, even tap water. Don't even drink it. When the vibrations caused by the end of the world hit water, it will amplify and shake you right off the planet. Only those that have firm footing on PURE land will survive. Plug your ears. Plug your ears with wax so the evil inter-dimensional higher frequency beings and shadow governments don't steal your energy and thoughts. They do this via TV screens, radios, iPods, the Internet, computer monitors, laptops, cell phones, guitars, and birds. If you can't hear any of these things, then you will be safe. Your friends and family will think you're insane. It is THEY who are insane! You must SAVE them by telling them what to do, and if they don't listen, tie them up and FORCE them to obey! It's the only way to save the people you love. They will thank you once we're all in the other universe, safe from the end of the world. DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY NON-PAN DIMENTIAL HIGHER FREQUENCY REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTING BEINGS! ONLY THE PAN DIMENTIAL HIGHER FREQUENCY REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTING BEINGS WANT TO SEE US SURVIVE! THE GOVERNMENT WILL LIE AND TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE INSANE BUT YOU'RE NOT! ONLY THOSE THAT HEED THIS WARNING WILL SURVIVE! [/spoiler]

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