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Edited by FdYAcsoyPKN83gLE: 9/16/2019 11:35:00 AM
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Hello, I am Chris Roberts! I am very busy!

HEY!!!!!!! Get out of my room! Didn’t I say I was VERY busy? Right now, I am casting a spell to kill my fans throwing money at me! You see, my republican parents raised me into a level 95 mage, so watch out, Dereck Unsmart! Haha! I won't kill you for entering into my room unless you call my psychiatrist! Anyway, why would I want to kill my own fanbase? You see... They are trying to drown me in my sleep with money! Those sneaky buggers! First, it was the campiagn goal, then it was the strech goals, then it was the ships, the store bundles, and the money hole! I am crying all the time from my life energies being sucked to create a universe while the programmers transform to my labourers as I cast hunch back virus! However, these fans are throwing millions of hard cash and digital payments as psychological projectiles to make me destroy what I love, such as my family and action figures! They chant “Chris Roberts must die to make Star Citizen” and have goon blood sacrifices to summon hoards of furries into my own office! I barely escaped with my wives. I don't think they deseverd my love, but my mercy. I am Chris Roberts, and don't call the police! If you do, I will find you, and cast fireball on those you love. #gangsta #purification #harrypotter

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