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2/25/2016 5:00:07 PM
78

Following Saladin

I've always pondered the thought: [b][i]"What the hell does Lord Saladin do while he's away?"[/i][/b] Like, where do you have to go, man? You can't even leave the top part of the Tower without dying. [i][b]So I followed his shiny golden ass.[/b][/i] It was easy enough to stow away on his ship. I'm a [b]Hunter.[/b] So, basically a cat. A cat with guns, and sweet [b](Y1)[/b] cloaks. I opened a crate of ammo in the back to snuggle up in. Only...[b][i]it wasn't ammo inside.[/i][/b] It was [b][i]labeled[/i][/b] as an ammo crate, but that's not what I found within this box. Shaders, oh, OH [b]THE SHADERS.[/b] Yesternight was lightly grazing my posterior. Burnt marshmallow was wedging itself into [b][i]questionable territory.[/i][/b] [b]Lion Dancer[/b] was making me be a better person just by looking at it. There was no time to gawk, however. The ship was already beginning its descent. Once I felt the [b]comforting vibration[/b] of the ship cease, and heard Saladin leave, I slithered out as well. We appeared to be on a [b]lush, green planet.[/b] Mountains were abundant, and there were many craters from battles long ago. I also noticed an abandoned space pod off in the distance, with a large [b]C[/b] on it. I noticed something... [b][i]odd[/i][/b]..about Saladin. He was wearing boots I'd not seen before, and appeared to be making [b][i]tight[/i][/b] turns. [i]Suspiciously[/i] tight... He took a seat in a beautiful, throne-like chair in what I assume was his living room. A [b]beautiful, red[/b] machine gun hung over his fireplace. It had a [b]familiar[/b] look to it. Before I could further scrutinize it, a woman made her way to the center of the room. I couldn't see the front of her face, but she appeared to have a [b][i]remarkably[/i][/b] slender, fit body. Blue skin, so definitely an awoken. She was wearing a golden robe with a hood shrouding any features I might be able to make out. And then, [b][i]THEN[/i][/b] I heard it. [b][i]"I see you've came back, I almost got bored..."[/i][/b] In-to-the-ope, nope. [b]nope.[/b] [b][u]NOPE. [/u][/b] With the speed of a laggy Stormcaller, I fled. My feet carried me like an eager Twitch streamer. I made my way out of Saladin's garage, almost slamming my head into his [b]sporty, orange ship.[/b] Transmat. [b]TRANSMAT.[/b] DAMNIT GHOST, [b][i]TRANSMAT.[/i][/b] I disintegrated and reappeared in a losing Crucible match. I immediately received a face full of Conspiracy Theory D, followed by a teabag to rival the Gods. Before he even finished dipping on me, a message appeared before me. "[i]lol gg scrub[/i]". This was home. It wasn't much...[b][i]but it was home.[/i][/b]

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  • Edited by Ghostfire239: 2/26/2016 4:41:07 AM
    Lord Saladhead erm I mean Lord Saladin was at a Titan meeting at one point or another. (Flashback) *Lord Saladin walks on to the stage* Lord Saladin: Hello my Brothers and Sisters!! I am honored to be here with you for this important meeting! Titans: Hello my brother! Lord Saladin: Now then let’s get this meeting on the road so we can get to the REAL reason we’re all here! *Points at the cookie trays* *The crowd begins cheering* Lord Saladin: I assume you are all aware of the nerfs to our precious Sunbreaker? *The crowd stops cheering and begins to yell in anger* Lord Shaxx: *Shaking head in disappointment* They nerfed it and sent it home crying!! Lord Saladin: *Brings out a cookie box and shakes it* Calm do my friends! We must remain civil, if we want to get anything done!! *The crowds begins to calm down* Lord Saladin: This meeting is meant to help each other through this struggle that we all face by sharing our experiences and for us all to help in soothing the pain. *A Titan raises their hand* Yes, you with the rhino helmet. Share your story brother! *Rhino come on to the stage* Lord Saladin: Hello my brother! What’s your name? Rhino: My name is Rhino, nice to meet you. Lord Saladin: So what’s your story Rhino? What is it that you want to share with us? What happened that hurt you so badly that you feel like it needs to be heard? Rhino: Well it all happened last week during a game of rumble. I had been dealing with all the shit that the Hunters and Warlocks were throwing at me for a good while. I finally got my super and I was ready to go to town on these punks! I pulled out my hammer and Then… Lord Saladin: Then what? Rhino: Then I…I…I Got sniped! Crowd of Titans: *Gasp* Random Titan: That is awful! Rhino: And worst of all…It was from a level 8 Hunter!!! *Cries* Random Titan: How horrific! Lord Saladin: It’s okay my brother! We’re here for you! Here have a cookie! Rhino: Thank you Lord Saladin *Walks off the stage* Lord Saladin: Who will share their story next? Yes, you the one with the blue chest piece that make you look like a hippo! Come right up! *The Titan walks on to the stage* Lord Saladin: What is you name dear brother? Paul: My name is Paul! Lord Saladin: So what’s your story Paul? What happened? Paul: Now before I start I just want to warn all of you! My story is not for those who are faint-hearted. So it all started back during the Ironbanner. I was a 316 so I felt confident and I was doing great. The team we were playing against were full of noobs. I finally got my super and let me tell you right now, that I was VERY excited to use it. And so I pop my Hammer of Sol and began to look for people to use it on. And you know what? I found a 290 Warlock just walking around like he didn’t have a care in the world! So I thought I had this fool in the bag. I threw my hammer right at him *Begins to hold back tears* Lord Saladin: Let it out my brother just let it all out. Breathe, breathe! Paul: *Take a deep breathe* I’m okay now. Lord Saladin: You’re okay? You sure you can keep going? Paul: Yeah I can keep going. Lord Saladin: That’s great! Brothers and sisters gives this brother a round of applause! *Crowd claps and cheers* Paul: Thank you brothers and sisters! Lord Saladin: So what happened when you threw the hammer? Paul:…When I….When I threw that hammer he…he just….walked on like nothing happened. *Gasps of horror from the crowd* Lord Shaxx: *Shaking in anger* This is NOT amazing! Paul: I kept throwing hammers at him but he just kept walking to me until he was right in front of me. Lord Saladin: And what did he do next? Paul: He just laughed, he didn’t even kill me and then T-bag me like what most people do! Him laughing in my face was him saying that I wasn’t worthy of being T-bagged!! Lord Saladin: And how did that make you feel my brother? Paul: *Holding back tears* It…it made me feel sad. It made me feel really sad…*Cries* Lord Saladin: *Hugs Paul* May that Warlock burn for his crimes!! We feel your pain my brother! *Crowd begins to go into a frenzy* Random Titan: *Stand on his chair and pulls out his Ghost* Look!!! It’s all over Ghost-tube!!! That Bastard Warlock posted it!!!! Random Titan: Arrgh I’m so mad right now!!!! I worked hard to get that Hammer!!! AND NOW IT'S BEEN...GrrrRRRAAAAAAH *Punches another Titan* *Crowed begins fighting* *One Titan punches Lord Shaxx* Lord Shaxx: *Cracks his knuckles* You want the Crucible? I AM THE CRUCIBLE!!! *Begins beat up several Titans* (With the Speaker) Speaker: *Notices the ground shaking* The Titans must be fighting each other...again. *Sighs* I've got to stop letting them have this community gathering or else there won't be any Titans left.

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    16 Replies
    • Nerf fusion rifles!

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    • Omg this fuxkin guy an his stories are hilarious lol 10/10

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    • Lol the tight turns XD

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    • Hunters are more like ferrets, imo.

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    • Thank You!

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    • Is Saladin gettin it on with Rahool?

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      • come* back

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      • Has anyone else noticed Lord Saladin doesn't have a ghost? All other Guardian NPCs have ghosts floating by them but he is the exception.

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        • OP's mom tossed my Saladin the back of her van.

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        • Edited by Emurinus: 2/26/2016 11:16:06 PM
          So Rahool has turned our Lord Saladhead. Now I know why he doesn't flinch when I threaten him with Space Magic.

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        • So he had the Queen the whole time?! The plot thickens...

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          • Lol am i the only one who noticed him subtly making fun of timegated conted[quote]B[/quote]

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            • [quote]I've always pondered the thought: [b][i]"What the hell does Lord Saladin do while he's away?"[/i][/b] Like, where do you have to go, man? You can't even leave the top part of the Tower without dying. [i][b]So I followed his shiny golden ass.[/b][/i] It was easy enough to stow away on his ship. I'm a [b]Hunter.[/b] So, basically a cat. A cat with guns, and sweet [b](Y1)[/b] cloaks. I opened a crate of ammo in the back to snuggle up in. Only...[b][i]it wasn't ammo inside.[/i][/b] It was [b][i]labeled[/i][/b] as an ammo crate, but that's not what I found within this box. Shaders, oh, OH [b]THE SHADERS.[/b] Yesternight was lightly grazing my posterior. Burnt marshmallow was wedging itself into [b][i]questionable territory.[/i][/b] [b]Lion Dancer[/b] was making me be a better person just by looking at it. There was no time to gawk, however. The ship was already beginning its descent. Once I felt the [b]comforting vibration[/b] of the ship cease, and heard Saladin leave, I slithered out as well. We appeared to be on a [b]lush, green planet.[/b] Mountains were abundant, and there were many craters from battles long ago. I also noticed an abandoned space pod off in the distance, with a large [b]C[/b] on it. I noticed something... [b][i]odd[/i][/b]..about Saladin. He was wearing boots I'd not seen before, and appeared to be making [b][i]tight[/i][/b] turns. [i]Suspiciously[/i] tight... He took a seat in a beautiful, throne-like chair in what I assume was his living room. A [b]beautiful, red[/b] machine gun hung over his fireplace. It had a [b]familiar[/b] look to it. Before I could further scrutinize it, a woman made her way to the center of the room. I couldn't see the front of her face, but she appeared to have a [b][i]remarkably[/i][/b] slender, fit body. Blue skin, so definitely an awoken. She was wearing a golden robe with a hood shrouding any features I might be able to make out. And then, [b][i]THEN[/i][/b] I heard it. [b][i]"I see you've came back, I almost got bored..."[/i][/b] In-to-the-ope, nope. [b]nope.[/b] [b][u]NOPE. [/u][/b] With the speed of a laggy Stormcaller, I fled. My feet carried me like an eager Twitch streamer. I made my way out of Saladin's garage, almost slamming my head into his [b]sporty, orange ship.[/b] Transmat. [b]TRANSMAT.[/b] DAMNIT GHOST, [b][i]TRANSMAT.[/i][/b] I disintegrated and reappeared in a losing Crucible match. I immediately received a face full of Conspiracy Theory D, followed by a teabag to rival the Gods. Before he even finished dipping on me, a message appeared before me. "[i]lol gg scrub[/i]". This was home. It wasn't much...[b][i]but it was home.[/i][/b][/quote]

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            • [b]OH GAWD IT'S RAHOOL.[/b]

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            • And this is what keeps me coming back to these boards. Ty

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            • Bump

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            • Why dbz in tags. I must of missed something

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            • 1
              What did you change from the one you posted before ._. I read that and this seems identical to it .-.

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              • Went ahead and muted you, no worries anymore. Go be desperate to make a pre teen laugh without me having to supper it. Also you have a stupid name. GG

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                • Edited by lynk: 2/25/2016 8:00:34 PM
                  "With the speed of a laggy Stormcaller". Thanks Senpai. I needed to go through PTSD today. #TitanMasterRace

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                  • Did anybody guess the planet they were on?

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                    • Yes... good.

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                    • "Transmat!!!" Lol

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                    • [quote] I disintegrated and reappeared in a losing Crucible match. I immediately received a face full of Conspiracy Theory D, followed by a teabag to rival the Gods. Before he even finished dipping on me, a message appeared before me. "[i]lol gg scrub[/i]". This was home. It wasn't much...[b][i]but it was home.[/i][/b][/quote] Gg

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                    • I don't get a break...

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